Finally Ricktober, Bitches!
by HopeTheCrazyCat
Summary: The entrys to my Ricktober Challenge. If you want to learn more about it, please check inside. Each chapter will have different tags/warnings/ratings, so please check individually (warnings will be in the top author's notes of each chapter). Overall, this will possibly contain platonic relationships, but also Rickcest, Rick/Morty and maybe others.
1. Chapter 1: Doofus Rick Rick J-19ζ7

AN: So, we're finally starting this challenge now! If you also want to participate in this month's Ricktober challenge, you can find the details in my post on DA (www .deviantart hope27 /journal /Ricktober-Challenge-762149481) or on AO3 (archiveofourown works /15865575).  
This is a very slow/weak start and short chapter, but I just can't come up with much for Doofus Rick – sorry, but he's just not one of my favorite Ricks ^_^'

Warnings: none, really. Just a little sad with happy ending.

Summary: Poor Doofus Rick gets constantly bullied by his alternate counterparts and is so alone.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 1: Doofus Rick / Rick J-19ζ7– A Rick's Loneliness, No More**

Rick J-19ζ7 was a Rick that was somehow different from other Ricks. He didn't even know why or how exactly he was different, but all the other Ricks bullied him because of it.  
They called him "Doofus" Rick even though his IQ wasn't lower than that of the others. And they were even so mean and spreading rumors that he came from a dimension where everyone would eat poop, which was also not true.

He really didn't know why they kept harassing him like that. He couldn't see how he was different from all the other Ricks despite the one fact that he didn't ever had founded a family.  
Being a Rick was already a very lonely existence, but Rick J-19ζ7 was the loneliest of them all.

However, his constant loneliness came abruptly to an end one day. It was the day that he met Jerry C-137.  
Rick was so happy that the other wanted to be friends with him and was still interested in hanging out with him even after they had found and returned Rick C-137 to him.

He couldn't exactly explain the relationship that they had, but he figured that Jerry was the son-in-law that he should have had, but never did have. He was the family that Rick didn't have in his dimension.  
Sure he had a Morty now – the Eric-Stoltz-Mask Morty that he was provided with after joining the Citadel of Ricks (which was the Morty that no other Rick had wanted because of his looks, but Doofus Rick had never mind that) – but being with Jerry was still somehow different.

The other told him that he shouldn't listen to his alternate selves and he believed J-19ζ7 over all the rumors that were spread about him. Jerry was a decent and intelligent guy who was fun to hang out with and most of all, he was willing to spend time with him.  
So, increasingly often they met up for their little dates – having a "Jerry and Rick's Day of Fun" or a "Best Friends day" as they both called it.

It made Rick so happy. Even if he was still shunned and ridiculed by other Ricks, he at least had a friend now other than the stuffed animals that he occasionally held tea parties with.  
He wasn't so lonely anymore.


	2. Chapter 2: Surgeon Rick

AN: Second entry and not much to say about this other than confessing that Surgeon Rick is one of my top five favorite Ricks. Also, heavily inspired by the Pocket Mortys special in Amateur Surgeon 4.

Warnings: none really, unless you have a problem with sick/wounded Mortys, but if you've ever played games like Amateur Surgeon then none of this should be shocking to you

Summary: Surgeon Rick is slightly dissatisfied with the life that he leads at the Morty Healing Center. He longs for more…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 2: Surgeon Rick – Longing for a Ricker Challenge**

The waiting room of the clinic was rather full. Only few seats were left empty.  
You could see Ricks sitting with their legs crossed and bored out of their mind, reading a magazine, playing on their DS or doing something else to keep themselves occupied while they were forced to wait. Occasionally, you'd also find an alien somewhere in there, doing similar or just plain alien things. Next to them sat Mortys who didn't look very healthy.

On one seat sat a terminally ill-looking Morty, eyes bloodshot, hair disheveled, a flush covering his cheeks, snot dripping down his nose and something that looked more like mucus than tears trailing from the corners of his eyes as sweat dotted his forehead.  
Two seats next to him sat a Morty that didn't look much better. His head was deformed as if it had been bashed in and his eyes looked unfocused into nothingness – and each of it in a different direction – as drool dripped from his open mouth and formed a puddle on the clean, white-tiled floor.

The door to the doctor's office opened and out came a bandaged up Morty, walking on crutches and a mumbling Rick who complained about something like his Morty taking too effing long to rest up.

The doctor appeared at the door right after them and called in the next patient. "Next!"

A Rick and his Morty got up and walked into the office.  
The Morty looked like he had suffered from frostbite. Parts of his body were even still frozen and covered in ice.  
Surgeon Rick began to immediately work on the Morty, but his mind was only half there. After all, this procedure was routine and nothing that would be considered critical or dangerous.

Now don't get him wrong. Surgeon Rick was a Rick who was really dedicated to his job and even loved it. And while he still greatly cared for all of his patients, sometimes he was still dissatisfied about it.  
As much as he loved being a doctor, sometimes he thought that what he did just wasn't enough.

Carefully he moved his blazing flamethrower over the frozen parts of the Morty's body, effectively melting the ice that covered them.

Each and every day, he was healing up Mortys. And that was exactly the thing. He was treating Mortys and Mortys only.  
Of course, since Ricks had found interest in catching Mortys and letting them fight against each other, Surgeon Rick had his work cut out.  
Who would have thought that training and battling different versions of his grandson would become such a craze?

"There. Done. Just make sure to keep him warm for the next few days to avoid him catching pneumonia." He instructed the Rick as he was finished with the treatment.

"Next!"

In came a brown blob-like alien with a Morty that had several cuts and an open fracture.  
He started with the procedure of getting the bone back inside and in its proper position – ignoring the Morty's screams of pain as he did so – before treating the open wounds.

Sometimes he wished that he could do more than that. He wanted to operate on other people or creatures or whatever for a change.  
Other Ricks were out there, conquering distant worlds with their legendary Mortys and Surgeon Rick knew that he was also destined for something more than what he was doing now.  
He often wondered if there could be another universe where surgery was just as important as Morty combat.  
The point was that he just felt unfulfilled with his current job!  
He wanted to go to a universe where an old sawbones like him could run free, slicing and dicing.

"Just keep him away from dirty water, acids and anything else that can quickly infect his wounds and he'll be fine again in a week."

Surgeon Rick sent his patient including owner out of his office.

"Next!"

A pizza Morty that had half of his face missing walked in. Beside him a fat human who was munching on a piece of pizza, stringy cheese hanging down from his lower lip and chin.  
Surgeon Rick sighed and threw on the oven and got his mixer ready while sternly reprimanding the Pizza Morty's owner that this version of his grandson was a living, sentient being and not a snack.

All that Surgeon Rick wanted was to do surgeries – like really **crazy** surgeries – on all sorts of different people, not just Mortys.  
However, it seemed that just like his daughter, Beth, he had reached a dead end. The mistake that he made was probably to look for employment on the Citadel of Ricks. And now he was stuck with this job and with this life…

"Next time consider putting him out of his misery **before** you take the first bite. And now get out of here." He reprimanded the human once again.

"Next!"

Oh, well. Maybe someday, somewhere out there in the multiverse, he'll find what he is looking for.


	3. Chapter 3: Simple Rick and Weird Rick

AN: This was something that I had been waiting for. I always wanted to write something involving Weird Rick (…well, there is that vampire fic I have in the planning, but whatever) and also something about Simple Rick. So, I took the opportunity and combined them ^_^

Warning: Rickcest smut in this one! And slightly rough sex (hair tugging + biting + spanking). It's also a scene-rewrite.

Summary: A young Simple Rick meets Weird Rick who tries to persuade him to join the Council of Ricks. Basically, what happened in the "fake (but not necessarily completely fake) memory" in Ep301, just that this is the story of _how it really happened_.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 3: Simple Rick and Weird Rick – How things really went down AKA the truth behind the ricked memories.**

The young Rick tinkered with enthusiasm at his workbench. While he was not aware of it, he would later be nicknamed "Simple Rick" by his alternate counterparts.  
Of course, up until this point he had never met one of them. Heck, he hadn't even thought about starting to invent interdimensional travel yet, too focused on his current project to create an instant teleportation device.

He made some last adjustments, pushed the wires inside the casing of his so-called "portal gun" and put the cover on top of it before he lifted the heavy rifle-like gadget up. Without much aim, he shot at the wall, creating a swirling blue portal and repeated the same action at a spot on the wall right next to it.

If his calculations were right, the object that passed through the first portal should immerge from the second one.  
As a test subject, he abused an apple that Diane had brought him after he skipped out on breakfast – again. The fruit passed through the portal and emerged from the other like it was planned – however, the state in which it came out after the teleportation was less than satisfactory. It was burned to a crisp, resembling charcoal now.

While the teleportation aspect of his invention worked without a doubt, it was impossible to use if for organic matter right now. It was so disappointing and frustrating…

'Well, back to the drawing board.' He thought dejectedly and released a loud sigh.

He placed the portal gun back on his workbench, however, before he could start dismantling it again, a sudden noise resounded inside the garage.  
With wide eyes, he could only stare at a green portal that appeared out of thin air. And from the swirling green vortex appeared a person.

The young man looked like he could be Rick's twin brother even though he wore completely different clothes and had also styled his hair differently.  
His double ganger then began to mock about his work on a teleportation device, claiming that as soon as he's able to travel through the entire galaxy he'll come to learn that he's the last person that invented it.

Rick only stared at the other bug-eyed and with a gaping mouth, giving him a quick view over.  
Despite what it looked like, he wasn't so surprised to see an alternate version of himself – something that he quickly deducted after listening to the other's ramble, not that it hadn't become quite obvious to him already.  
No, what Simple Rick thought in that moment was 'Damn, this guy looks hot!'  
It wasn't like he didn't have a very beautiful wife – Diane was a very pretty blonde even if he did prefer redheads – but that didn't mean that he couldn't appreciate another handsome guy. Even though that guy was technically himself.

Weird Rick still didn't seem to notice what the other thought about him nor did he seem to notice that the blue pants of Simple Rick were suddenly tented. He kept on with his by now rehearsed speech, trying to invite the other to join the Citadel of Ricks that he was about to found and giving this Rick a chance to become part of the council that will lead all the other Ricks that will join them.

"Sounds lonely." Simple Rick refused the offer and hoped that the other wouldn't notice his current predicament.

"Lonely? Dude, you have yourself. Your infinite selves. It's a non-stop party where all the guests are the only person we like."

"Do the others look as hot as you?" Simple Rick asked without thinking.

The unusual question threw Weird Rick out of his role. "What?"

Only then did the other Rick realize that he had actually asked that aloud. "Oh, n-nothing." He stuttered and actually blushed while looking anywhere but in the other Rick's eyes.

After he overcame his brief shock, Weird Rick smirked. Not only because of that cutely embarrassed behavior, but also because he finally noticed the erection that Simple Rick sported.  
He would lie if he claimed that he hadn't thought about fucking with an alternate version of himself before, but so far no other Rick had showed him this openly their obvious interested in participating in that, too. After all, he knew that he was a good lay and there was also no one who knew his body and likes and dislikes better than he did.

So, the temptation was probably more natural than anything to him even if there were some obvious differences between them, but that only made him more curious. Besides, he just told the other about having a party with himself. This certainly counted to that, too, though it wasn't exactly what he meant when he said it.

With a dangerous and also enticing grin, he closed in on Simple Rick who backed away from him until his back hit the edge of his workbench.

"You know, it's pretty narcissistic to call me hot. Well, I would say that, but there's obviously some differences between us and I think that you're actually pretty cute." He leaned so close towards the other that their noses were almost touching.

Simple Rick swallowed heavily and began to sweat while his face felt like it was caught on fire. He was having a hard time believing that this was real.  
Not only that an alternate version of himself suddenly showed up from another dimension, but also the fact that that version of him was interested in copulating with him. This was actually a breakthrough his mind tried to tell him, but while he noticed that, he could only think that other scientists surely didn't celebrate their new discoveries like this.

Then again, he was never like other scientists to begin with.

"The-the door!" He stuttered out as Weird Rick pressed with his full body against him now and he had to support himself with his arms to stay upright. "It-it-it's mot locked!"

The last thing that he wanted was for his wife or even worse for his young and innocent daughter to walk in on them. He wasn't too fond of cheating on Diane, but if he could, he would prefer not having her know of this to begin with.  
Not that he would even know how to explain himself to her if she would find out.

"Urgh. _Fine_." Weird Rick groaned in annoyance and let up so the other could go and lock the door.

Simple Rick did just that after hitting a button, which also lowered the garage door. If he wanted to avoid his wife finding out about this, he didn't need his neighbors to become (accidental) witnesses to this either.  
No, it was certainly for the best if no one knew about this. And he didn't only mean this little escapade that he's about to have, but also the discovery about that interdimensional portal device that the other had showed him.

After all entrances were closed and locked, Simple Rick visibly relaxed. However, he stiffened immediately up again as he felt a warm body suddenly pressing tightly against his back.

"Jeesh. Relax." Weird Rick spoke lowly in his ear. "No need to act all virginal. Unless you're still one. This isn't your first ride, is it?"

"N-no. It's not." He answered.

It really wasn't the first time that he was with a man. In his teenage years, he had quite a few flings with people of the same gender, much to the dislike of his parents who threatened to disown him and eventually kicked him out of their home.  
Rick wasn't just someone who could stick to the social norms. But he tried. He tried really hard now, having settled down with a woman and founding a family.  
Living the American Dream including the white picket fence and everything even if it didn't make him as happy as he should be.

Simple Rick gasped as a hand suddenly found a way in his fluffy hair and tugged on it – hard. The other Rick manhandled and steered him back over to the workbench.  
The force that weird Rick used as he bent him over the hard surface was strong enough that the impact knocked the air out of him.

Weird Rick knew that he loved the rough treatment though. The lack of complaint was proof enough for that.  
So, he just continued undeterred and held Simple Rick's head down with one hand while he ripped off his lab coat with the other. He also made quick work of the blue pants and pulled them together with the underwear down in one fluid movement.

Simple Rick's breath sped up and he could feel a spark of excitement running through his body. It's been too long that someone had treated him like this.  
Diane was always so gentle and preferred vanilla sex so he hadn't even had the guts to go to her and ask for something remotely like this.

Another gasp and a small moan escaped him as a hot and moist tongue slithered behind his earlobe – a sensitive spot for him. Barely a second later, teeth clamped down on his earlobe, hard enough to draw blood.

"Fuck!" he moaned loudly from the painful pleasure.

If Diane would have heard him swear, she would have complained again. Though, while it was mostly to not be a bad influence on Beth, she also didn't allow it to happen in their bedroom.  
She just hated it when he cursed – did ever since they met for the first time – so he forced himself not to do it anymore ever since he started dating her. Even if it wasn't easy to let go of that habit, seeing as he had been swearing like a drunken sailor ever since his youth.

At any rate, he really shouldn't be surprised that the other knew his every weak spot. After all, they were the same person.  
Weird Rick's free hand had been gliding over his bare side and back and now wandered lower towards his backside. One asscheek was massaged for a small bit before the hand was gone and then a sharp slapping sound could be heard.

Weird Rick repeated the action and smirked as he could already see a red handprint forming on that delectable behind. While it certainly would have been nice if the other would have fought back a little, he also enjoyed the opportunity to have this alternate version of himself at his mercy – being able to completely dominate him like this.

Still holding the other down with the hand that was buried in the fluffy, blue locks, he pushed the remaining clothing upwards so that Simple Rick's back was now revealed. Bending down, he began to place a series of hard bites all the way down, parallel to his spine.

Simple Rick vaguely thought that he should not allow the other to mark him as he did because he wouldn't be able to come up with a good explanation that he could give Diane if she saw. However, he was in no condition to fight back, far too caught up in the pleasure of the pain that his other was inflicting on him and lost inside his headspace.

Finishing his journey with a last bite on the already stinging buttcheek, Weird Rick moved his attention to the area between those nice, rounded globes. Using now both hands – since the other kept laying obediently bent over his workbench – he spread the cheeks apart and revealed the pink and winking pucker before giving it a lick.

Simple Rick couldn't hold back the sounds that escaped him as his alternate self began to eat him out. Additionally to thrusting his tongue in and out again and sucking on the rim, Weird Rick also spanked the other cheek now, not stopping until it was a glowing bright red.  
Then he fumbled for a tube of lube inside one of his pockets – fortunately, he always had lubricant on hand since you could never know – and slicked up his fingers, adding them into the mix now.

Simple Rick groaned loudly as he felt two long fingers pushing deep inside him at once. Those digits immediately sought out his sweetspot and mercilessly teased it, driving him almost insane.  
Simple Rick felt like he was close to losing it when thankfully the fingers left him again – it would have been embarrassing if he would have already come from that little bit of stimulation.

Deeming his submissive counterpart prepared enough, Weird Rick began to unfasten his way too tight pants and lubed up his straining erection now. He didn't bother with giving another warning as he then placed the head of his cock at the waiting entrance and buried himself in one quick thrust.  
Both Ricks groaned loudly at the action.

"Shit!" Weird Rick cursed as he was encased in the other's heat. "You're so fucking tight. Must have been ages ago that you got some action in here, huh?"

"It's been a while." Simple Rick admitted through clenched teeth.

After giving them both only a very brief pause to adjust, Weird Rick began to fuck his alternate self, setting a quick pace. He was aiming for the other Rick's prostate and hit it with dead precision, thrust for thrust.

Simple Rick knew that he wouldn't be able to last long, seeing how wound up he already was. The other him didn't make it easier as suddenly a hand was back in his hair again and yanked on the strands, forcing Rick to lift his upper body with straightened out arms.  
Still the hand continued to hold onto his locks and pulled insistently, creating a constant pain at his scalp.

The sensation coupled with the stimulation inside of him was almost enough to drive Simple Rick over the edge.  
However, it was Weird Rick's other hand that suddenly wrapped around his neglected cock and fisted it tightly and in a matching pace to the thrusts that was his undoing.

With a yell, Simple Rick came, his cum spilling over his workbench and the floor. The loud groan of the other Rick behind him and the feeling of a hot liquid shooting inside him, was only registered vaguely.  
They both panted heavily afterwards, trying to recover from their mind blowing orgasms.

Resting on the other's back and still trying to catch his breath, Weird Rick asked, "So, what do you say? You haven't answered me yet. You're gonna join?"

He felt delighted at the prospect that they could have possibly a repeat of this.

"Pass." Simple Rick declined once again, much to the other's surprise.

He wasn't exactly sure what to think of the offer that Weird Rick had given him. Leaving his family and hanging out with more other versions of himself…  
Of course, it was also not lost on him that the other indirectly asked if they could do this again.

However, he had to refuse. He loved Diane. At least he kept telling himself that he still did.  
Sometimes he wasn't so sure anymore though…  
Still, that didn't mean that he could just abandon his family to follow his alternate self in a wild and crazy ride through the universe – no matter how tempting that offer sounded.

"Excuse me? Bro, Ricks don't pass on this! Who do you think you are?" Weird Rick argued back, with the hint of a warning in his tone.

"A different kind of Rick, I guess." He wouldn't let himself be swayed.

"Well. We'll see how long that lasts." The other Rick said ominously, fixed his clothes and then grabbed his portal gun to open another rip between space and time through which he went to wherever it may lead to.

While the words that he left behind felt like a threat, Simple Rick tried not to worry about it too much. But he should have worried about it…

'I was willing to let you be part of my council, but you had the nerve to decline.' Weird Rick thought darkly. 'So, it's gonna be a change of plans now. Don't think I'll let you just get off easy like that. I'm sure you're gonna make a nice little pet for me.'

* * *

AN: Okay, this turned out longer than expected. Bad, muse! Bad!  
…I might actually write a continuation to this separate from the challenge later on…

Also, I do have a tumblr now, though there isn't much on it to see yet: ramheavenandhell


	4. Chapter 4: Lab Rick and Surgeon Rick

AN: I don't feel sorry for reusing Surgeon Rick in this one (after all that isn't against the rules), so I won't apologize!

Warning: Rickcest with hinted smut (but nothing too descriptive) and some making out

Summary: Lab Rick and Surgeon Rick hate each other like no one else…or maybe they don't really hate each other after all…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 4: Lab Rick and Surgeon Rick – A Rickbidden Love Affair**

Lab Rick and Surgeon Rick hated each other. It only made sense since they were rivals after all.  
While they did work in different fields, they were both medics that specialized on treating Mortys. Very unfairly, Surgeon Rick was getting paid by the Council of Ricks for the service that he performed at the Morty Healing Center, making the treatment free of charge for all the Morty trainers while Lab Rick had to charge for the actions that he performed on the boys at the will of their owners.

So, each and every time that these two ran into each other, they instantly started to break out into an argument. It wasn't often unusual when one of their verbal fights turned into a full-blown wrestling match.

The Guard Ricks had actually stopped counting the amount of times that they were called to separate these two again.

So, no matter who you asked on the Citadel, every Rick and Morty could confirm that these two medics hated each other's guts like no one else's.  
However, nothing could be further from the truth.

While it was true that they started out on pretty bad terms, these two didn't really hate each other. It was quite the opposite.  
You might probably be able to notice it if you just paid attention to the small, almost hidden hints.

One of them being a calendar that hung in Lab Rick's laboratory. At the moment, it displayed the month of Ricktober and everyone who visited the Morty Labs was able to see it. The thing about the calendar, which was actually in plain sight to everyone, was the picture of the month – a picture of none other than Surgeon Rick.  
If anyone would have actually paid it any attention they might have wondered why Lab Rick had a calendar up on the wall that displayed a photo of the person that he was supposed to absolutely loath. Luckily, his visitors were rather inattentive or just too grossed out by the experiments that he kept in vials, lining the counter and shelves.

Another hint would be the fact that Lab Rick matched his opening hours with the shifts that Surgeon Rick had. Surely, people would think of it as a rivalry thing, believing that Lab Rick wanted to prove something by working at the same time as his arch nemesis.  
In truth, this working scheduled actually allowed them to run into each other during their breaks and right before or after they started to work.  
But, of course, no one found that suspicious. No one would question it.

So, it was just another normal day on the Citadel of Ricks.  
Lab Rick closed his store – Morty Labs – since it was already late and the artificial sun on the fake sky had begun to set. He had no doubt that Surgeon Rick was also getting ready to end his shift and swap out with another Rick, who was also a medic and tended to wounded Mortys.

Of course, he didn't care about any of the other medics that worked at the Morty Healing Center. His interested was only held by the chief of the medical staff there – the Rick that was known as Surgeon Rick.

Almost as if it was agreed (and it actually was) they met at the steps that lead up to the Healing Center (or down to Morty Labs).  
Lab Rick immediately scowled and Surgeon Rick glowered back at him. Not an instant later, they started to throw insults at each other.

"So, how many Mortys did you kill today, you psycho quack?" The Rick that was dressed more like a nurse than an actual doctor spat.

"I should rather ask how many Mortys you let die today because I have a clear conscience." Lab Rick, who also still wore his work uniform, threw back.

"Clear conscience? If you say that, it's obvious that you've got as many screws lose as your patients!"

"Well, I'm not as crazy as you old hag! And don't come too close to me, I don't wanna know what kind of nasty illnesses and infections you must have caught from your miserable patients!"

It went back and forth like a tennis match, the childish insults growing slowly in ferocity and lower in levels of degradation and the few Ricks and Mortys who were still around at the time grew tired of having to listen to the squabble and scattered.  
Only after both medics noticed that they were completely alone, did they stop.

Without sharing another word, they both hurried through a few back alleys until they arrived at an apartment complex. It was where Surgeon Rick lived.  
They hurried up to the apartment before anyone else would be able to spot them.  
Then everything happened fast as if in one motion. A harsh tug on his wrist, hurling him inside the apartment, the door closing behind them and then Surgeon Rick's back colliding harshly with the door as Lab Rick pushed him against it and ravished the surgeon's mouth like a man starving.  
The kiss was returned with a passion, full of longing and repressed emotion's that never came to day outside of this apartment.

Lab Rick eagerly grabbed his secret lover's hips and hoisted him up and the other wrapped his legs around his waist as tightly as he had his arms wrapped around his neck.  
While they were still heatedly making out, Lab Rick ran his hand over the other's thighs, which felt way too smooth for a man in Surgeon Rick's age.

Eventually, Lab Rick dislodged himself from the door and carried his lover over to the bed, dropping him rather unceremoniously on the sheets. Surgeon Rick didn't mind and only giggled as the other medic joined him not a second later on the mattress.

The make out session continued and scrubs went flying. And soon the sounds of groans, moans and a creaking bed floated through the air.

When Lab Rick opened his eyes, it was still dark. He found himself snuggled up against the back of his secret lover who was still sound asleep.  
Reluctantly, he untangled himself from the comfortable warmth, shushed the other Rick who mumbled sleepily in protest and then slipped his clothes back on.

Now was the best chance to slip away and return to his own apartment. Hidden by the darkness, the risk of getting detected was far lower than when he would hang around until the morning.  
Sure, in a way, it would also be nice to stay with his lover for a bit longer, but as he stood with a hand on the door and looked at the sleeping medic, he knew that this was what they both had decided on.

Lab Rick (and Surgeon Rick, too) thought that it was actually fun to treat their relationship as if it was some sort of forbidden love affair. Sure, no one would give a fuck if two Ricks were dating – this was the Citadel of Ricks after all and taboo was considered normal here – but it was certainly some nice spice that he wouldn't want to miss.  
So, he stealthily snuck out of Surgeon Rick's apartment again – like many, many other nights before – knowing that when they saw each other tomorrow in public their masks would be back on and they'd be throwing stupid insults at each other again that they didn't really mean.

* * *

AN: These two Ricks are actually my OTP. And I've wanted to write smut again, but ran out of time and inspiration, so I cut it short. Maybe some other time…


	5. Chapter 5: Deepthroat Rick Investigator

AN: I'm sorry if this one isn't as great as it could be for this Rick. You have no idea how close I was to just using a joker on this one, but having to use one in the first week already seems so embarrassing, so I tried to come up with _something_ at least…

Warnings: none (other than a little suggested Rick/Morty on the side)

Summary: Investigator Rick is working as a private detective on the Citadel, getting day in day out the same boring jobs of Mortys looking for their missing or cheating Ricks. However, this one time, he's getting a rather unusual job from a rather unusual Morty…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 5: Deepthroat Rick /Investigator Rick – An Unrickual Job**

It is late in the evening. 19:47 to be exact. I look out of the window at the artificial sky that is showing the twinkling star constellations of the Blooma 6 system.  
Nothing special.

I take a drag of my cigarette and lean further back in the leather chair that I'm currently seated in. My office looks like it's from an old black-and-white private detective movie. Well, I am a private detective and already wear the cliché outfit, so might as well go with the rest of it.

Before I can even think of closing up, the door to my office opens. I turn around to face it. Following the cheap cliché, a lady in a red dress walks in.  
It's a Morty – better said a Morticia – and she approaches my desk with an air of drama.

"Are you Investigator Rick?" she asks.

"That's the name that's on the door that you just walked through, isn't it?" Seriously, that was dumb question…then again this is a Morty, so what do I expect?

Without taking offense, Morticia continues. "I have reason to believe that my Rick is cheating on me. I want you to investigate him and find proof."

Of course. Again, why am I not surprised?  
However, I have no reason to complain since this _is_ my job. Even if this sort of thing does get boring after a while. I might as well just go and tell her that he's absolutely having an affair with another Morty or Rick without even needing proof for it.

Instead, I just say, "That's gonna cost you 5000 credits, missy."

She slaps a wad of cash on the table. "2500 now, the rest after you got me the evidence."

Seems like she's not so stupid after all. I agree to take on the job and ask her for further information on her Rick.

* * *

"Oh, I knew it!" The Morticia in the red dress is clearly angry as she looks over the photos that I handed to her.

It's no surprise really. The proof was of more explicit nature, depicting her Rick engaged in certain activities with another Rick.  
Good thing I won't have to be around for the aftermath of that.

Calming down the smallest bit again, Morticia hands over the rest of the payment as arranged. "Thank you very much, Investigator Rick. You have no idea how much help you have been."

Her attitude is slightly flirtatious as she leans a bit over my desk. I don't react to it even though it's more than obvious that she's practically single now and looking for a new boyfriend.  
I'm not to have for something like that though. A man like me is only married to his job.

She finally seems to notice my disinterest and again, with an air of drama, she leaves my office.

I lit a cigarette and turn around in my leather chair to look out of the window again.  
Tonight it shows the sky that you can see from the southern continent of planet Vegasius.  
Again, it's nothing special.

Just around closing time again, the door opens anew.  
What is it always with people showing up a few minutes before I want to close all the time?

I turn around and see that it is a Morty this time. He looks normal enough – standard yellow t-shirt and standard blue jeans, but he had an odd air of mystery surrounding him.  
He smiles at me as he approaches my desk.

"Good evening. I have a job for you." He simply says.

Well, that was really no surprise now, wasn't it?

"What is it? Your lover cheating on you? Your Rick gone missing? Or some revenge plan on some other Morty or Rick?" I list down the most frequent jobs that I get from Mortys.

His answer surprises me. "None of that."

With that smile still in place, he lifts his hand and places a manila envelope on my desk. He pushes it in my direction till it is laying right in front of me.  
I lift one side of my eyebrow as I looked questioningly up at him.

"Your job this time won't be to investigate something. I just need you to delivery this to someone."

"I'm not a delivery boy." I immediately reply.

The boy seems unfazed. "I know, but this is really important. You have to find this one Morty and deliver it to him. And make absolutely sure that no one else sees what's inside. The price doesn't matter."

This response is just raising my confusion more than ever. Likewise, it also rouses my curiosity.  
Just what was inside this envelope that was so damn important?

The need for knowledge and my greed finally win out and accept his job.  
Despite being instructed to let no one else other than that one Morty have a look at the contents of the envelope, I take a peek inside as soon my client is out of the door.

And I can't believe what I see.  
However, this is none of my business. My only job is to delivery this to Campaign Manager Morty…

* * *

AN: I know it's kind of lame and as I wrote, I was so close to using a joker on this prompt, but I managed to write something, so _yeah me?_


	6. Chapter 6: Storage Rick

AN: Not sure if this needs to be pointed out, but this Storage Rick isn't tied to my other fanfiction "Ricking the Routine". Then again, it probably doesn't matter if he is or not…

Warnings: some swearing and rude gestures, hinted Rick x Morty

Summary: Storage Rick is getting pissed off because the entire day he is getting approached by people who do not seem to understand what the Morty Day Care is actually meant to be for…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 6: Storage Rick – This is a ricking Day Care. It's for storing Mortys ONLY!**

Storage Rick wasn't one to complain much about his job. At least not openly to others.  
Of course, it wasn't exactly easy to take care of the many alternate versions of his grandson, but he managed.

In fact, the part about his job that aggravated him even more than having to take care of pubescent, fourteen-year-old teenage boys, were the Ricks (and occasional aliens) that would visit the Day Care.  
Of course, most of them were just your usual run-of-the-mill assholes that were rude or unfriendly, as they demanded to retrieve one of their Mortys, store them or complain that their Mortys' time in the bootcamp was wasted since they didn't really have gotten any stronger.

Storage Rick could deal with those. He could also deal with the almost impossible to understand garble of the occasional aliens who barely sounded any different from the Ricks that came by.  
However, they were also other cases – much worse cases than just dealing with an emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, nihilistic scientist who didn't care if someone got butthurt over his behavior.  
…and most often, they were even more annoying than his usual customers were…

"Wha-wha-what do you mean 'no'?" A Rick, who looked like a picture book mad scientist and half cyborg, sent his spittle flying on the counter as he raged.

Storage Rick ignored the green drool in front of him. "'No' means no."

"I-I-I don't understand what the problem is!"

"The thing is that this is not a rental store." Storage Rick tried to stay calm as he explained. "This isn't "Rent-A-Morty". This is the Morty Day Care. Do you even know what a day care is?"

Cyborg Rick didn't relent. "Oh c'mon! I just need two Mortys for a quick adventure. No one will even notice that they're gone for a little while. And I already said that I'd even pay for it."

"If you need a Morty so badly then you should go to the Reassignment Center and get one there."

"I can't. I'm currently suspended because _too many of my Mortys died_." He rolled with his eyes and put an emphasis on the last part of his sentence as if it was merely a minor inconvenience. "Besides, do you have any idea how much paperwork getting a new Morty involves and how fucking long it takes to get one. I don't have the time to wait till my ban is up. On top of that, I said that I need _two_ Mortys, you dumb fuck. One isn't gonna cut it. And I need 'em right now!"

Cyborg Rick tried to look intimidating as he bashed with his cybernetically enhanced hands on the counter, but Storage Rick remained unimpressed. "Tough luck."

"Asshole!" With a raised middle finger, the customer Rick finally left.

Storage Rick just shook his head as he watched him walk off. There was no way that he would rent out some of the stored Mortys to anyone. Especially not to that guy, who went through Mortys faster than a woman changed clothes in a single day.  
It was more than obvious that he wouldn't have seen the two Mortys ever again – or at least not alive.  
The guy should actually be really glad that he had just let him walk off like that.

Storage Rick really couldn't believe that Ricks tried again and again to get a Morty for free from him because they didn't want to bother with the work and waiting times at the Morty Reassignment Center. However, even with bribery, he wouldn't be swayed.

While Ricks like this crazy cyborg were already one of the sort of customers that he considered on his personal blacklist, there was kind that was always worse out there.  
Most Ricks already had an almost non-existent moral compass, but Storage Rick learned quickly in his job that there were still somewhat decent Ricks around and on the other hand also some, who were really deranged.

Another visitor slowly approached his counter. This one looked like a generic Rick.  
Storage Rick monotonously drawled his usual lines in greeting.

"I want to withdraw a Morty." The Rick answered enthusiastically.

"Can I see your ticket please?"

"Uh, I don't have a ticket." The scientist admitted, but still smiled and threw his arms in the air as if something like that was only an unimportant formality. "I thought you could just lend me a Morty out for a few hours. For… _you know_."

Storage Rick's right eye twitched in aggravation. There was no room for discussion with him on this one.

"Listen here, buddy. This is not a brothel and I'm not a pimp! If you wanna molest some Mortys, do it elsewhere, but not here and under my watch!"

The Pervert Rick left rather quickly while making whining sounds with which he mocked Storage Rick and then muttered under his breath what a killjoy he was.

The damn pervert!  
If that Rick knew what was good for him, he'd better never show his face at the Morty Day Care again!  
At least not as long as Storage Rick was still in charge of this place.  
Next time, he's gonna sic some Guard Ricks on the guy.

Ricks like him were indeed the worst on the spectrum of customers that Storage Rick hated.

The Ricks that pitied him for his job had a point. It really sucked!  
However, the Ricks that thought "Oh, what a poor bastard. He's just **one** Rick who has to take care of an entire bunch of Mortys." were all wrong.  
It wasn't the Mortys' fault that Storage Rick's job sucked.  
It sucked solely because of other Ricks!


	7. Chapter 7: Flesh Curtains Rick Younger

AN: I was stretching the boundary of this prompt a little. Also heavily inspired by the comics :)

Warning: none, just Rick/Diane and romance

Summary: Basically the story how Rick had met Diane.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 7: Flesh Curtains Rick / Younger Rick – Rick Sanchez in Love**

Rick would have never thought it possible to happen to him, but it did happen – he fell in love. And how he could he not after he met her?  
Sweet, sweet Diane brought a significant change in his life. One that was even noticeable to other people.

"Oh boy. Oh boy. Thanks a ton, Rick. Here you go, two thousand flurbos. You look different today. You okay, Rick?" one of his best customers, Krombopulos Michael, asked him.

Rick did look different indeed. His usually long hair had been cut short with only a few tiny spikes still sticking up on his head and he had swapped his cool rocker jacket against a simple, white lab coat. He also looked well-shaven, not even a single stubble on his face.

"I met someone, Mike." He began to explain. "I-I-I think I'm in love? You ever been in love, K-Mike?"

"No Sireebob. My only mistress is sweet, sweet Madame Murder."

Not long ago Rick would have said the same thing about himself. That he only had eyes for Lady Science. It was almost ridiculous how fast things could change…

"You should open up your heart. I m-m-mean, I get it, we wouldn't be the best at what we do if we weren't married to our work. It's challenging and rewarding but there's no give and t-take. Th-there's no intimacy." Rick tried to explain the wonders of love to the assassin.

Michael only shrugged. "Oh, _haha_ , I don't know, Rick. I'm pretty happy just killing and praying to the supreme destroyer that I keep living this beautiful perfect life."

Rick could completely understand Krombopulos Michael's standpoint of view, but he also wanted him to understand his, even if he wouldn't be able to until he fell in love himself.

"One day you'll see." He said and put a hand on the killer's shoulder. "When love had a hit out on you there's no escape. Love's a better hitman than even you. No one makes it out alive."

Michael only shrugged him off, laughing and arguing that what he said was stupid. And Rick couldn't blame him, honestly.  
If someone else would have said these same words to him only a few months prior, he would have also laughed them off.  
Thinking about it, it still seemed somewhat ridiculous to him.

After touring through the entire universe in the band that he had founded with his two best friends, Birdperson and Squanchy – which had been labeled "The Flesh Curtains" – and having had uncountable amount of sex with groupies or just space hookers or whatever else had been available, it had been unthinkable that he would eventually want to settle down with someone.  
Of course all these flings that he had had only been that – one night stands, caused by either curiosity, the urge to experiment with his sexuality or just plain and simply satisfying his bodily needs.

Rick Sanchez had honestly believed that he would always be a free man that wouldn't just settle for one person – someone who wouldn't be so foolish to ever fall in love. But, against all odds it did happen to him.  
And against all odds, the person that he had fallen for, was someone that he met on good ol' home planet, mother earth.  
It wasn't someone from an exotic space species, but just one simple human woman.  
And he could still - and would forever be able to – recall, how he had met her.

He had just bought himself a cup of coffee in a local coffee shop that he sometimes visited.  
Like usual (at the time), he wore his white leather jacket with light-blue epaulettes on it, a light blue t-shirt underneath it, grayish-blue leather pants and his blue leather collar with O-ring. A golden earring was adorning one of his ears. His long, spikey hair was slicked back and he had a little bit of a stubbly beard on his chin.  
He was just on his way out of the shop – full coffee cup in hand – when suddenly someone ran into him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" A female voice immediately apologized.

"Watch where you're go—" Rick started to reprimand the careless idiot who ran into him, but stopped at the sight.

There she was. Cute, clumsy, beautiful Diane. Apologizing and looking genuinely guilty.  
Wordlessly, he could only gape at her as his brain had short-circuited.

"I'm really sorry. I hope I didn't get any on your clothes." She still rambled on as she checked if his clothes were still okay.

To her relieve they were. The coffee – including cup – had only spilled on the floor.

"I'll buy you a new one." She said and ran to the counter. "Excuse me? Barista?…"

Rick barely paid any attention to what she said or even what was going on. The coffee was the absolutely last thing on his mind right now.

"Here you go." She said as she handed him the newly bought cup of coffee.

Still, dumbstruck he only stared at the blonde's cute round face, with her cute little freckles, those big, warm hazel-brown eyes and the sweet smile that she only directed at him.  
Rick wasn't a man of believes. Naturally. He was a man of science. And as such, he would also refuse to believe in something like "love at first sight". Yet, he couldn't deny that that was exactly what had happened to him.

And now he found himself nervously wringing his hands as he went over his entire plan for the night in his mind again.  
Tonight was the night that he was going to propose to her.  
And he hoped that she would say 'yes'…


	8. Chapter 8: 7 Sins Ricks

AN: Is it just me or is there definitely too little Seven Sins Ricks in this fandom?

Warnings: just swearing, but that should be no surprise considering who this prompt is about

Summary: The seven sins of Ricks are stuck in hell and each of them is dealing with it in their own way.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 8: 7 Sins Ricks – Rick and the 7 Sins**

"I fucking can't believe this shit!" Wrath Rick yelled as he kicked a shelf.

It was completely black and extremely hard, apparently made out of obsidian just as the walls and the floor and the ceiling of the housing that he currently was in.  
The dim red glow that came from the two windows was the only source of light in the room. This again was caused by the rivers of lava that flowed outside.  
His surroundings made it pretty obvious where he was at right now.

"I still don't fucking understand why we're trapped in hell!" he continued to roar and kicked the shelf with all his might again, making the furniture rattle a little.

"Well, I think it's pretty obvious why we're here, sweetie." Lust Rick spoke up.

He was seated in front of a vanity and was busy applying bright-red lipstick.  
Still facing only the mirror he smacked his lips as he was done and looked satisfied with his handiwork. He looked absolutely fabulous.  
Especially in that hot bondage outfit, topped with that elegant, pink feather stole.  
Absolutely gorgeous! No one would be able to say no to him tonight.

Adding a jewel-studded earing, he continued, "We're the personifications of the seven sins inside of a Rick so it only makes sense that we're here doesn't it?"

"Don't say it like that." Envy Rick interrupted him and started to gesture wildly with his pointy hands. "You don't understand that we're not merely the sins of _one_ Rick, but of all the Ricks in the multiverse combined. Do you even understand what that means?"

"Well, I don't give a rat's ass about that. I just want to get the fuck out of here!" Wrath Rick continued to rage and more black spittle ran over his lips, dripping from his chin, as he bared his shark-like teeth.

"C'mon, just chill out a bit, man." Sloth Rick threw in, in a bored voice.

He sat on a couch, a bag of chips in his hands and munching away on the treat in an almost peaceful seeming serenity. With his unkempt greasy hair that sagged low to touch his shoulders, stained tank top and stubble from lack of shaving, he looked every bit the lazy bum that he was.

"Just sit down and watch some TV." He invited without looking up from the television screen that his eyes were all the while fixated on.

"Sloth is totally right, dude." Pride Rick stalked into the room, sounding even more arrogant than he looked. "You really need to chill it, Wrath."

He came to a stop behind Lust Rick and admired himself in the mirror, posing in front of it and flexing his muscles that bulged slightly underneath taut bronze skin.  
Lust Rick rolled his eyes and smiled in amusement at Pride Rick's antics.

"Seriously, what's wrong with you guys?! How can you just accept this and _chill_?!" A vain was pounding so visibly on Wrath Rick's forehead that if a Morty would have been present, he would have been worried that it would pop any second. "You know what, I don't give shit about your opinion! And I'm not gonna "chill it"! You can't tell me what to do or not to do!"

"Whatever you say." Lust Rick only answered as he got up and walked to the door, his hips swaying with his every step. "I'm going out then. Don't stay up and wait on me, darlings. I'm sure it's gonna be late."

"Wait a sec! Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" the package of unrepressed anger ground out.

"Getting laid of course." The man-whore replied as if it was the most obvious thing.

"In hell?!"

"Of course. Do you have any idea how many handsome demons are down here? I've even heard that they have two dicks." Lust Rick bit his lower lip deliciously as his thoughts started to drift off to those mental images.

"Hey, you know what? I'm gonna come with you." Greed Rick spoke up for the first time.

Lust Rick rose his eyebrow. "What? You wanna get laid, too?"

"No, but I just got a fantastic idea and it's going to make me filthy rich!" he rubbed his greasy hands together and cackled manically.

"Will you keep it down already?" Sloth Rick finally bothered to complain aloud. "I can't hear the TV above all your whining. Can't an old man watch some interdimensional cable in peace?"

The other Ricks in the room looked at him for a moment before they all stopped paying attention to him so they could focus more on themselves. They were the most important person to themselves after all.  
Lust Rick gave one final shrug with his shoulder before he continued his way to the entrance of the hellish hut that was their living space.  
However, before he could open the obsidian door, it swung open and the devil himself stood in the doorframe.

"Ricks?" Mr. Needful started. "I finally have a job for you."

"Does this have to be now? I was just about to get laid by some hot demons." Lust Rick complained and tried to be as charming as he could to convince the not-man in the fine suit to let him go.

"Not interested." Sloth Rick answered between bites of his potato chips, ass still firmly planted on the couch.

"What's in it for me?" Greed Rick asked, the ugly wrinkled skin over his eyes lifting a little in question.

Even Pride Rick looked down at his manicured nails and didn't even bother looking at the ruler of hell as he replied, "Sorry, but I'm too good for that. Whatever it's gonna be."

"If they won't have to go, I'm not gonna do it either." Envy Rick threw in, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance.

"Will you cut it out, you pussies!" Wrath Rick yelled at the others, surprising every Rick (and the devil) in the room. "This sounds like some action and if it means that I'm finally gonna get out of this shithole then I'm gonna do it! Just tell me that it's gonna be good and I get to kill someone!"

Mr. Needful chuckled as he came out of his shock. "Oh, but of course you will. I sure do hope so. However, I'm afraid that it won't be in the way that you're imagining, but I'm sure that you'll like it."

After his eyes scanned the room, his pleased looked turned to one of confusion. "Well, I need all seven of you. Where is Gluttony Rick?"

All of the Ricks looked at him with a blank expression as if he was a complete idiot. "In the kitchen, of course."

As if on cue, a loud burping sound could be heard from a nearby room.

"Oh for hell's sake…" the devil muttered.

This monster was going to eat him out of house and home.

"Sounds like he's eaten all the wafer cookies again…" Sloth Rick commented.

"…and drank all the booze…"

Boy, was he going to be glad when that Morty Games tournament would be over and he could send these guys back from where he had taken them…


	9. Chapter 9: Tiny Rick

AN: Took a little freedom with this one even though it feels a little lame after I wrote this idea down…

Warnings: none, but it's a little angsty/sad and (probably) OOC

Summary: Smol Rick is so different from old grumpy Rick…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 9: Tiny Rick – A nice and forgotten side of Rick**

Rick walked home from school together with his grandson, Morty. Well, he was called Tiny Rick now to not confuse him with his older counterpart who was currently busy trying to merge them again.

It all had started with Rick trying out his new project – Project Phoenix 2.0 –, which didn't require the use of a clone body anymore and was supposed to be foolproof.  
Well, "supposed to be" didn't mean that it went like Rick had hoped for it to go **at all**.

While the potion that he had developed was supposed to work like the fountain of youth, it didn't really make him younger. Instead, this younger version of him was somehow extracted out of his body.  
And not only was this Rick younger than the old scientist, but he also only carried the memories of his past-self. Ironically, his older counterpart seemed to have lost those exact same memories.

So, at the moment, Tiny Rick and Old Rick were one Rick who just happened to be separated into two persons.

In order to keep some sense of normalcy in this weird situation, Tiny Rick had asked if he could actually visit school with Morty together while the other half of him would work on a solution to put them back together again.  
Now, the small brunet hadn't been so sure about the idea of going to school together at first, being quite suspicious of his grandfather's younger counterpart after what had happened the last time that a Tiny Rick was around.

However, it seemed that Morty quickly warmed up to him and actually enjoyed spending more time with Tiny Rick than the grumpy old bastard that was tinkering around in the garage. And Tiny Rick was glad for it because back in his old school, he didn't had a single friend and actually used to get bullied a lot. Something that Morty found hard to believe.

"Wow, you're so different from the Rick that I know, Tiny Rick." Morty said. "It's like you're a completely different person. But I mean that in a good way."

Tiny Rick laughed at that. "Really?"

It was hard for him to believe, but the boy had told him everything about how old he was. Not that there wasn't the living proof for that around so he could witness it firsthand.  
He just couldn't believe that he would be turning into such a mean man once he got older.

Tiny Rick was actually barely any different from Morty – he was pretty shy and socially awkward, stuttering a lot when he was talking with other people other than his grandson. He was also an easy target for bullies – probably because he didn't fight back and had the reputation to be a complete nerd even if he didn't study at all. It all just came naturally to him since he was a genius.  
He was also trying to be polite and friendly whenever he could – especially towards Morty who he actually saw more as his best friend than family.

According to Morty, the Rick that he knew was barely this nice to him and usually just talked him down. Tiny Rick didn't know why though. In his opinion, his grandson was amazing and if he would be as old as he was supposed to be now, he'd probably think of him as adorable and not as a nuisance or whatever Old Rick saw in him.  
Morty was such a great companion to have around and he made him feel not so lonely anymore – he had always been wondering why no one liked him, but the brunet did. And his daughter Beth and her family were great, too. She was so kind to him, nothing like his own parents had ever been.

Now in another contrast to him, it also seemed that no one wanted to mess with older him. Which was actually pretty cool. However, what he didn't think was cool was that Old Rick was more like a bully now – something that he certainly would have never wanted to turn into – and was also pretty indifferent to the fate of others.  
He had no trouble killing aliens to get what he wanted and also left an entire tribe to their fate after they made an errand on a different planet together.

Tiny Rick couldn't believe that one person could change so much – especially since that person was himself.  
Where was all his compassion gone? The respect that he had for other living beings? Or, that wide-eyed wonder that he had for space?  
Because he did notice that, his other seemed pretty unimpressed and mostly uninterested in most wondrous things that they encountered in their adventures.

He guessed that he should at least be glad that his descendant still seemed to hold onto those same values that he _still_ had. Though it was sad that this was the only thing that he had to look forward to – not that he really would get to live his life out.  
As soon as he merged with the other Rick again, it would be over and as if he already lived it – which was basically what had happened even if he had no memory of it and was inside this younger body right now.

He just wondered what could have happened to him that he would become the person that he was watching tinkering at his workbench when they were back at home. What kind of event might have happened that turned him into _that_?  
It probably didn't matter if he knew or not because it still wouldn't change anything, but he still wondered about that every so often.

He had heard that he would drop out of high school and would leave earth altogether to travel through space in a self-built space ship. Thinking about it for a while, he realized that it did sound like something that he would do.  
School was actually pretty boring to him since he didn't learn anything new there and seeing how he was constantly bullied, he probably would drop out because it became too much for him.  
And leaving planet earth just so he could get away from his awful parents, also didn't sound that unbelievable to him.  
Maybe it was something that had happened out on his adventures that forever changed him as the person that he was, but until he merged with his older self again, he wouldn't know that for sure…

Tiny Rick laughed at a joke that Morty made as they arrived at home – though technically the home of his daughter, but since he also lived in that house, he was trying to think of it as his own home, too.  
Not soon after they passed through the front door, they were already intercepted by the other Rick.

"Okay, dipshit. I finally found the solution. Get your ass to the garage so we can merge again." He said gruffly.

Tiny Rick's face fell at that and he could see the expression mirrored on Morty.  
However, he knew that it was for the best. Aside from the fact that they shouldn't exist as two separate entities, according to what he had heard from Morty, the older Rick was also not acting quite like himself.

He wasn't sure if it was solely because he had lost all of his childhood memories – while memories were certainly a big part of determining and creating someone's personality that alone surely couldn't have made such a big impact. That older version of him was a lot meaner and rougher than the actual Rick was usually like.  
If Tiny Rick didn't know any better, he'd think that not only their bodies and memories have been separated, but also parts of their personality. As if all the kindness and compassion and shyness was solely inside him and completely absent in the other.

Oh well, if they merged again that would all be resolved as well. So, it didn't really matter if that's really how it was or not…

"Here. Drink this, Dumb-dumb." The older Rick ordered as he handed him a test tube with a purple liquid in it.

Tiny Rick saw that his other held a vial with a similar substance, which he quickly downed. Then he looked expectantly (and impatiently) at him, urging him to do the same.

"Well then, Morty. It was nice meeting you. I really enjoyed the time that we spent together." He said his goodbyes to the boy that he had really grown attached to in the short amount of time that he got to know him.

Older Rick rolled his eyes. "Save the sentimental crap and hurry up already!"

Tiny Rick emptied the vial and made a face at the disgusting taste.

"I'll be missing you, Tiny Rick." Morty said.

The boy looked really sad and his face was the last thing that Tiny Rick was able to see as everything suddenly became blurry and then turned black as his body became one with the Original Rick again…


	10. Chapter 10: Mysterious Rick

AN: This is one prompt that I've been looking forward to because Mysterious Rick is also one of my fave Ricks ^_^ Even though he is a little saner in this fanfiction.

Warnings: maybe a tiny bit OOC and obsessive Mysterious Rick (which is pretty in character though)

Summary: Mysterious Rick is finally giving up his search for the Legendary Morty. In return, he finds something that he probably needed for a long time…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 10: Mysterious Rick – Finding Enrickment**

This was it. Mysterious Rick was so done with this.  
It felt like such a long time ago that he had started to collect Mortys. And he had accumulated quite a collection of them, one that would make other collectors certainly envious.  
However, he just didn't feel about this whole thing anymore like he used to. It just suddenly started to lack that spark that it used to have.  
All that time ago, he had set out to find the best Morty of them all – the one that he had dubbed the Legendary Morty – but he never found the one.  
And now, looking at all his caught Mortys, he felt like a fool.

None of these Mortys were especially strong or any more special than the ones he had seen from other trainers.  
It wasn't just the same thing anymore and the hype that had been made around this "game" on the Citadel had also slowly started to die out.  
In the end, this fad had been just that. A fad. And fads just went away with time again, to be replaced by some new fad eventually.  
That was just the natural flow of things.

So, Mysterious Rick decided that he was through with collecting Mortys and his fruitless search for the special one that he had wanted.  
He gathered his collection together and one by one released the boys back into the wild again, not caring if they would end up with one of the few still left trainers or if they would find their way back home or if they would die of hunger or from any dangers somewhere out there in an unknown dimension… not like it was any of his concerns.

It was just another day on the Citadel as Mysterious Rick strolled, looking around to buy some materials that he would need for a new invention that he was working on.  
That was when it happened. It was like a meeting of fate – if Ricks would actually believe in such a thing as fate. But, Mysterious Rick was ready to believe in it if it was what was necessary to meet _him_ again.  
He had been just walking over the plaza, mostly ignoring the other Ricks and few aliens that still lingered around when one Rick passed him that was accompanied by a few Mortys.

This was no biggie, of course. There were still some few Ricks who clung to the dead horse that had been labeled "Pocket Mortys" a long time ago and he had grown somewhat blind to the sight.  
However, it was one of his Mortys that drew his attention to him.  
He wasn't even sure why that was. Maybe it was the bright golden glow that had surrounded this one. Or, the fact that he didn't looked like any other Morty that he had seen before.

Usually not one to engage in conversation with other Ricks, other than it being completely necessary to get something done, he asked the generic-looking Rick. "Wow! What kind of Morty is that?"

"Huh?" the Rick looked back at his small entourage and saw the other looking at his best Morty. "Oh, that one. He's called the One True Morty. Cheesy name, but he's pretty damn awesome…for a Morty I mean."

The One True Morty. This was the one. This had to be the one!  
Mysterious Rick was sure that this was the Morty that he had been looking for all this time. This was the one that he thought of as the Legendary Morty. There was no doubt about it!  
However, he was confused as to how to find one of those Mortys for himself.  
He certainly had never met one like this in the wild, on his adventures through the different dimensions.  
So, it was in order to do some research.

Sadly enough, he soon had to reach the conclusion that there wasn't much known about this One True Morty.  
There were some links on a few Morty-only-boards that pointed to Morty C-137, but the boy looked just like a generic Morty and nothing like the one that he had seen.  
Mysterious Rick almost started to regret that he hadn't just stolen the one from the other Rick, like he used to do in the past, but at that moment, he hadn't fully understood his need to own that one special Morty yet.  
He should at least have asked him how he got that boy – or rather, young man.

After many more days wasted on research, he finally got a hint on a Rick message board where remaining Morty-enthusiast were still talking about the different kind of Mortys, about what was so great about collecting them and tips how to properly train them to turn them into complete killing machines.  
He had opened a new thread with the question where to find such One True Morty and finally, after many stupid and useless remarks, some Rick stopped being a complete dick for a moment to grace him with a reply that was actually helpful.

Following the hint, he sought out and approached and alien that he had met before, but didn't know would hold something with such a huge value to him – Masy Kallerax.

"Hey, I got a hint that I could get a special Morty from you?" Mysterious Rick cut straight to the point.

"Oh, yeah. I do have a "special one", but I need you to do me a little favor first." The blue-skinned alien replied with a smirk.

Mysterious Rick sighed and weighed his options if he should do him the favor or if he should just knock the other unconscious and torture the location of the One True Morty out of him.  
Well, he could at least hear him out at first, right?

"Okay, what's it?" he asked, sounding annoyed and impatient as if to tell the other that this better be something small, quick and uncomplicated.

"Well, Rick. I wanted to bake some brownies. Not any normal kind of brownies though. You see I-"

Mysterious Rick groaned, already being able to see where this was going. "Just tell what me kind of drug you want and I get it."

It took one annoying, long, hard and over the top adventure to get the drug that the guy had wanted. Mysterious Rick thought that he was probably getting too old for all that shit even though he liked some good action as much as the next Rick.

'This better be worth all the bullshit that I had to go through for that asshole!' he thought begrudgingly as he approached the blue skinned alien, his uniform dirty and hanging in tatters from his slim and slightly bleeding body and his hat and red cape were missing.

He handed the other a bag with light green powder – the magical ingredient that Masy had wanted for his "special" brownies.

"Okay, here you go." The alien said and handed him an egg in return.

"What? What is this?" Mysterious Rick sputtered as he held up the pink and gold, oval shaped object. "I came here to get the "One True Morty" from you, not some menstrual product from a weird space chicken."

Masy just continued to smirk, feeling like he was better because he knew something that the Rick in front of him didn't. "This is a Morty. And he will become the One True Morty, all right?"

Mysterious Rick was surprised about that and now finally decided to take a closer look at the egg that he still held slightly awkwardly inside his hands.  
Indeed, through the see-through pink shell, he could see something that looked like a Morty. A very small, baby-like Morty with umbilical cord and all that.

As Mysterious Rick continued to look at the little thing, he could feel something in his chest start to warm up.  
It was so cute!  
Not realizing it himself, he started to grin broadly and made internally a vow to take good care of this little one. He would care for him and protect him and treat him better than he had ever treated any version of his grandson.  
Mysterious Rick seemed to have fallen instantly in love with this Egg Morty.

Apparently that was also the reason why he didn't even hear what the alien was shouting at him as he wandered off, still looking at the small wonder of life in his hands.  
He cradled it gently in his arms and cooed at the little thing, as he softly dandled it.

"You need to put him through hundreds of rounds of grueling combat to have him evolve into the One True Morty!"

Mysterious Rick had all but forgotten about the One True Morty and never let his precious Egg Morty fight even in one single battle.

* * *

AN: Just for today's prompt I made this little mini comic as an extra (deviantart hope27 /art /Ricktober-Prompt-10-Mysterious-Rick-Baby-Morty-767744221). This is kind of Mysterious Rick's view at the end of this story. Sorry, that it doesn't look so great since it was rushed.  
Also, I have this headcanon that a Baby Morty is a Rick's greatest weakness ^_^


	11. Chapter 11: Dumb Rick, Lab Rick, Surgeon

AN: Reusing Surgeon Rick (and Lab Rick) again. Still not apologizing!

Warnings: a little angst/sad/hurt

Summary: Lab Rick and Surgeon Rick are faced with the mystery that is Dumb Rick. Will they unravel his past or will they find an even better solution?

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 11: Dumb Rick, Lab Rick, Surgeon Rick – Inrickable Idiocy**

Surgeon Rick entered the facility of his colleague, longtime friend and (not-so-secret) admirer: Lab Rick.

"So, what's the big problem here?" he asked as he looked around for that tricky patient that the other had claimed he had so much trouble with.

Lab Rick grinned at seeing the fellow medic and led him in the backroom where his patient was seated on an examination table. It was a Rick.

"This is the one." Lab Rick only said.

The other medic lifted one side of his eyebrow. "A Rick?"

He looked over the old man whose features were a mirror image to his own.  
However, his face looked slightly spaced out and a little confused as if he wasn't sure where he was or why he was here.  
It was also interesting to note that this one wore only a simple t-shirt and pants, but no lab coat.

The strange Rick seemed to notice the newcomer. "H-hello. My n-n-name is Rick. Wuz-what is yours?" he babbled, sounding a bit childish and certainly not like a Rick.

"I got him from the higher ups and am supposed to "fix" him. Guy's as dumb as a Morty… if not even worse." Lab Rick answered the surgeon's question, both of them ignoring what the weirdo had just said.

"Whoa. How did that happen?" Surgeon Rick asked clearly having not expected that.

Dumb Ricks were extremely rare to come by after all.

"No idea, honestly. Couldn't find any brain damaged that would suggest an accident or something like that being the cause." Lab Rick stemmed his hands on his hips, looking utterly puzzled by the poor, dumb animal that was sitting on his examination table.

Surgeon Rick hummed and held his chin in one hand as he ran possible solutions to the problem through his head. "Maybe it was caused by a mental trauma. Have you tried memory recovery yet?"

"Of course I already tried that." The other medic replied indignantly. "Didn't do anything though. It's almost as if this one was always this dumb…"

"Hmm… well, that can't really be. I mean sure, they are some pretty dumb Ricks, but even a Doofus Rick is still intelligent enough to come up with the creation of portal gun technology. To think that there is a Rick who looks like he can't even tie his shoelaces on his own…"

"He can't." The other cut in again. "Trust me. I had to tie them for him."

Well, this looked bad.

"W-w-when can I go home again?" Dumb Rick asked, fiddling with his fingers nervously as he stared back and forth between the two doctors who looked at him as if was a mere lab rat and not a human being.

He didn't really like doctors. They were scary and made him hurt sometimes.  
But the other men in the white clothes made him go here, so he really didn't have a choice. He still didn't like it though.

Both medics still continued to look at him, lost deep in thought.

"So, any bright ideas?" Lab Rick finally broke the silence.

"Hmm… let's run some tests first." Surgeon Rick suggested, obviously also at his wits' end.

With those words, poor Dumb Rick was forced to endure hours of tests and experiments. Somewhere in between all the needles being stuck into him and the weird and bitter medicine that he was forced to swallow, he had started to cry.  
It still didn't make the two doctors stop what they were doing.

Dumb Rick just wanted to go home!  
At home were nice people like that blonde woman. What was her name again? Um… uh… oh, right! Beth!  
Beth was a doctor, too but unlike all the other doctors, she was really nice. He missed her.  
He also missed that boy, Morty who looked so much like many other boys that he had seen in this place. They were also called Morty, he thought.  
Maybe it was because they were also boys. Boys probably all looked like that and were all called Morty. Yeah, that must be it!

Many hours later, Surgeon Rick and Lab Rick collapsed on the chairs that stood in the room. They had run every test that they could think of and tried every method that they knew of to fix this Rick, but nothing.  
They couldn't find anything wrong with him. Nothing that suggested what could have happened to him that caused him to become so degenerate.  
It was as if he never had been a genius as Ricks usually were and was now only a senile old man, who needed elder care.

Dumb Rick had also collapsed from the exhaustion of what he had been put through as well as his constant crying and laid sleeping on the examination table.

"I've got no idea what to do with him." Surgeon Rick admitted. "He's got no brain damage, no trauma, amnesia or anything like that. He's just a plain idiot."

The doctors had to admit defeat now. There was no way to fix something that wasn't broken to begin with.

"Sorry, Lab, but I have no idea what we should do with him."

"Hmm…" Lab Rick was thinking over everything they had done and tried again while also scanning the papers that were strewn around the room on which the results were written down. "…maybe, I do have an idea…"

The surgeon perked up at that. "Well, let's hear it."

"You remember the scan we did on his brainwaves?" he only asked. "Take a look at this again."

He held up a paper on which a curvy line was drawn and Surgeon Rick looked over it. "Doesn't this pattern ring a bell to you?"

The surgeon looked closer, trying to figure out what his colleague meant before his eyes widened. "Isn't this-?!"

" _Morty waves_." Lab Rick finished for him. "His brainwaves are complementary and could be used as camouflage for another Rick."

That certainly wasn't the solution that they had been looking for, but it was an interesting revelation.

"So what about it?" Surgeon Rick asked, wanting to know what the other had in mind about this now.

"It's pretty simple." Lab Rick explained. "I'll hand him back to the Council with this information together with the idea to pass him off as a Morty…"

"…so they put him in the Morty reassignment program. And then he'll just get assigned to another Rick." The surgeon finished for him.

He wasn't entirely sure if a Rick would be really okay getting paired up with a dumb version of himself, but if it meant that they got him of their backs then he was all for it.  
Dumb Rick meanwhile was slowly waking up again as the two doctors stood up and approached him.

"Can I go home yet?" he asked sleepily.

"Sure, you're gonna go home." Lab Rick answered him. " _Tall Morty_."

Dumb Rick smiled dumbly even though he didn't understand why the doctor called him Morty. After all, he wasn't a boy.

Unfortunately, he wasn't allowed to go home immediately. They made him visit a school, which was called Morty Academy.

"When can I go home?" he would ask every so often.

"Tall Morty, you get to go home once you graduated." The Teacher Rick, who was forced to take care of him, answered.

The answer was a bit upsetting, but he tried not to be because all he would need to do was to "gratutate" and then he would be able to go back home to the nice lady and the other nice people again.

"…okay." He said and hoped that it would be soon.


	12. Chapter 12: Miami Rick

AN: For those of you keep track, this guy is also one of my fave Ricks :)

Warning: none, just pining and one-sided Rick/Morty

Summary: Miami Rick may have everything, but there is one thing that he will never have. Happiness.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 12: Miami Rick – Ricking the Life…or not?**

People who knew Miami Rick would say that this man had everything one could ever want. He practically ruled over all of Florida at this point as a drug lord who had a chain of nightclubs all over the place.  
His biggest and most popular club – that was part casino – had even the best dancers of the entire world and the man was swimming in money, drugs and women at this point.  
He was someone who was truly living the life. A life that all men that looked up to him or loathed him could only ever dream of achieving.

Despite having all that though, Miami Rick was far from happy or satisfied with his current life.  
He was smart – a genius even – and had no trouble working his way up in a quick and strategical manner that left all competitors laying in the dust of his overwhelming success. For him, it was something that he had done all his life, starting from the moment that he had fled Mexico and from his family when he was still only a kid.  
All of his "great achievements" meant nothing to Rick.

He didn't give a damn about all the money that he had or about the amount of villas that he owned at this point. There was no need to buy himself drugs since he produced the best stuff there was himself and sat right at the source and he was so popular with the ladies that he didn't need to buy himself any hookers. If he wanted sex, he could just go and lay about everyone that he wanted.

And yet, none of it way satisfying to him. Nothing of all that made him happy.  
Frankly, he wasn't even seeing all of that around him anymore.

That was probably the reason why he could be found sitting not in one of his clubs or at one of his mansions, but at a private beach watching the sunset.  
He absently took a puff from his cigarette as he sat in the sand and faced the sun that was slowly sinking down the horizon, his mirroring sunglasses reflecting all the tones of pinks, reds and oranges back at the flaming plasma ball that visually halfway dipped into the water.

"What are you thinking about?"

The slapping sound of sandaled feet walking over the clean sand was carried together with the sweet voice to his ear and mere seconds later a boy with long blond hair sat down next to him – but only after folding out a small towel over the light brown and white grains.

"Nothing much." Rick replied and suckled on his cigarette once more.

While his body language remained unchanged as if he wasn't even registering the person who had joined him in sun watching, Rick was secretly eyeing the youth beside him.

The roots of the boy's mane that was slightly peeking out underneath his blue headband were brown, showing his natural hair color. Glitter was covering most of his face and other revealed parts of his evenly tanned skin.  
His frame was thin, much like Rick's own, but had a few soft curves that made the boy actually look a bit feminine.

Glossy lips were wrapped around the white stick of a lollipop.  
Even through the pink sunglasses that he wore, Rick could tell that his eyes were fixated on the setting sun and not on the man that sat next to him and studied him with an intensity that he usually only reserved for complicated high-tech machinery of the likes that he built himself.

"I don't believe you." The boy – Morty – argued back.

Rick huffed a little laugh before he admitted what was really going through his mind. "You're right. I'm thinking too much and thinking about everything."

"You shouldn't do that, Rick." The youth reprimanded him. "It's not healthy."

"Neither is drinking or smoking." The elder replied and lifted his cig for emphasis, his tone slightly humorful.

Morty smiled, but not in the way as if he was finding the joke funny. It was a sad smile and he looked directly at Rick now, a look of worry in his eyes. "Yeah, but this is a different kind of unhealthy."

Rick sighed and averted his eyes from the boy to stare back at the red ball on the horizon that was barely visible anymore.  
The two continued to sit in silence and watched until the last rays faded away and darkness was quickly creeping up and surrounding them.

Morty stood up and grabbed his towel. "I have to get ready."

With that excuse, he left the beach.  
Of course, the boy had to get ready. He was the main attraction in Rick's biggest club – his best dancer.  
Morty was super popular, but he was off limits. Rick made sure of that.

It was because of this "overprotectiveness" that there were rumors that the two had secretly something going on like being in a romantic relationship, but nothing could be farther from the truth. They were only grandfather and grandson and no one should think it weird that he was being protective of his underage grandchild – then again, if people knew, they would question why he even let him dance in his club to begin with.

But Rick had his reasons. And maybe he was not even entirely honest when he said that Morty was only off limits because he was a worried grandparent.  
Maybe he wished that something about those rumors could be true. And even though he knew that they would never be more than just grandfather and grandson, it didn't mean that he couldn't long for it…

"It's not healthy." Rick repeated his grandson's words.

Then he threw the stub of his probably 6th cigarette in the sand, retrieved a fresh toothpick from a pocket inside his pink jacket and clamped it between his teeth and then stood up to leave, too.  
No matter what he would achieve in life, how many riches he gathered, he would never be happy. Because he would never have the one thing that he truly wanted.

* * *

AN: In case, you were confused: when Morty talked about what Rick was doing as unhealthy, he was referring to his nihilistic worldview – as in "you're going to go crazy if you think about how pointless everything is too much". He doesn't actually know that Rick was thinking about him or what he is feeling for him. Just to clear that up.


	13. Alternative Chapter 13: Golfer Rick

AN: I have to use my first joker now. While I know that Rick D-99 is a great prompt to write about, I felt that nothing I could write would do him justice. So instead, you guys are getting some Golfer Rick now.

Warnings: none, it's supposed to be funny though

Summary: Rick, Jerry and Morty all go golfing together. Even if they share the same hobby, will peace remain?

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Alternative Chapter 13: Golfer Rick – The jerryest Rick**

Golfer Rick was probably one of the chilliest Ricks there were. He was probably also one of the friendliest Ricks there were.  
If something like the rickest Rick and something like the mortyest Rick existed then he must be the jerryest Rick.  
In fact, aside from the Doofus Ricks, he was one of the few Ricks that got along well with his Jerry, being even downright friends with him.

"Beth-sweetie, we're leaving now!" Rick shouted through the house.

The reply was yelled back at him. "Have fun, Dad!"

The 'we' being Rick, Jerry and Morty, all got together into the family car.  
Jerry was driving, Rick was in the passenger seat and Morty was sitting in the back.  
All three were already in their complete golfer outfits and the two grown man in the front where exchanging lame golfer jokes as they drove towards the golf range.

Rick had to smile as he looked into the back to see Morty looking through the golf clubs with high concentration on his face. He was probably trying to recite the correct name of each one inside of his head.  
Morty was still a beginner at golf since they had started this arrangement not too long ago.  
It was actually nice that they were doing a family activity together and Rick knew that Morty was as happy about this as Jerry was.

Jerry had been certainly trying for a long time to spark Morty's interest for some sports that they could do together, but Morty just wasn't a very sporty kid. He had certainly tried before with football and basketball, but the boy was always failing and only being ridiculed by his classmates.  
Rick being the nerdy scientist that he was, found sports generally very stupid himself. There wasn't really any appeal in running over a field like an idiot, chasing after a stupid ball, or yelling at other people that were on the same _team_ as you.

Golf however was very different. It was a king among sports.  
And it was a sport that was perfectly fitted for Rick.  
It was something where he would have to analyze, calculate and had to use his skill. In short, it was a sport in, which he could truly shine.  
Also, it was super classy.  
Surprisingly enough, it was also something that he was sharing with his son-in-law with who he had nothing else in common otherwise.

It wasn't long before they arrived at the golf course and began their play.  
Rick was going first and took his sweet time, calculating everything from the direction and velocity of the wind to the unevenness of the ground before he finally made the drive and landed the ball on the putting green, only few inches away from having a hole-in-one.

Jerry whistled at the display and Morty's eyes bugged almost out of his head while Rick humbly played it down.  
It was Jerry's turn now and it became quickly apparent that he wasn't anywhere near the professional level that Rick displayed.  
However, Rick, being the good sport that he was, tried to be helpful and give Jerry some tips how to get better at this game and take down a few strokes.

"Jerry, you need to square your shoulders." He advised.

"Oh, um. Thank you, Rick, but I think I know how to play golf pretty well." Jerry tried to sound still friendly and not too annoyed.

"I know. I was just saying, Jerry." Rick took no offense. "…you should also try to keep your head down."

Jerry had been close to making his drive, but stopped since Rick had spoken again and broke his concentration once more.

He took a deep breath and sounded clearly more annoyed this time. "Okay. I got it, Rick."

Jerry tried one more time as Rick once again had to speak up. "Jerry, you have to relax more."

Since Jerry was already mid-swing, he couldn't stop again this time and so the ball flew completely off the course now.  
The man cursed under his breath and threw his golf club on the ground.

"Don't take it so hard, Jerry. I'm sure you do better on your next turn." Rick said, acting as if he hadn't been the reason why Jerry messed up.

It was Morty's turn now and this time Rick didn't interrupt with any advises.  
The ball ended up also on the putting green, but nowhere near Rick's ball. It was just barely in the area.

"See, Jerry. Morty had been doing it right." Rick commented and it made Jerry's face turn into a mask of barely repressed anger.

Since Jerry's ball was the farthest away, it was his turn again. And again, Rick wanted to be friendly and couldn't shut up again, trying to give Jerry advice.  
Since this again broke Jerry's concentration, he messed up his drive once more and seethed with anger while Rick laughed at him and told him that he could only get better.

This was continuing throughout the entire golf course.  
Rick would play superb, making even a few hole-in-ones and generally playing so great that even professionals would envy him. Morty was also doing splendidly well especially considering that, he was still new to the game. His grandfather remarked that he was a natural and that he had probably inherited it from him.  
Only Jerry kept failing, drive after drive. His ball seemed to take every obstruction that was present, landing in the lake, in the sand pit or even out of bounds.  
He couldn't remember that he had ever played this bad in his entire life.

"Wow, Jerry. It almost looks like you are in need for an extra beginner's tutoring, seeing that even Morty has beat you." Rick commented as they took an overview of their points in the end.

"You know what, Rick? I had it with you! You are just a mean cheater because you can't stand the thought that someone could be better at something than you! I will never ever play golf with you again!"

With those words, Jerry threw his golf club on the ground once more and trudged off towards the car.

"W-w-what's gotten into him?" Rick asked his grandson who only shrugged.

Had Jerry really just accused him of cheating? Just because his son-in-law was playing so badly and couldn't even admit his own loss?  
That was stupid and childish. Rick was great at this game! There was absolutely no need for him to cheat!  
Using science wasn't cheating. That was just being clever about this sport!

That really was the limit!  
And such accusations after Rick had been so friendly and even tried to help Jerry get better!  
Rick himself had lost his good mood and had gotten angry now.  
Who cares if Jerry never wanted to play golf with him again? He would never ever play golf with his son-in-law again, even if he fell down on his knees and begged him for it.  
And he would certainly never ever try to help him again!

The way home in the car was spent in silence.  
And even after they had returned home, Rick and Jerry went their separate ways.  
Well, it seems that even the jerryest Rick couldn't really get along with a Jerry after all.

* * *

AN: I probably should point out that I don't know anything about golf, so if there was something confusing or incorrect in there then please accept my sincerest apologies.


	14. Chapter 14: Governess Ava Rickinsocks

AN: This one didn't turn out good, but I already used up my joker for this week, so take it as it is…

Warnings: misandry/misogyny/discrimination, but no major warnings, set pre-season 3 episode 7

Summary: Governess Ava Rickinsocks doesn't stand Ricks (or males in general).

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 14: Governess Ava Rickinsocks – It's not easy being a Female Rick**

The steady clicks of heels on ceta-alloy – a material that had properties close to concrete, but was obviously much better if you're building an entire city inside a huge space station – sounded loudly as Ava hurried over the plaza in her violet pumps. She ignored the stares that all the surrounding Ricks were throwing at her.  
Seriously, they looked more like dumb apes with the stupid looks on their faces than the geniuses that they claimed to be!

By now, she should actually be used to that because it was like this no matter where she went on the Citadel. Apparently, female Ricks were a real rarity – just as female Mortys were – but that didn't entitle anyone to look at her as if she was an exhibit at the zoo!

A wolf whistle almost made her stop in her tracks and she threw a glance that could potentially kill at the dirty old bastard who had dared to do that. However, the Rick looked unbothered by Ava's more than obvious disapproval.  
This was another thing that was bothering her: Ricks didn't take females seriously and that also accounted to female Ricks. As if having a different gender made them less competent than their male counterparts. If anything, women like Ava were the ones who were superior because they weren't thinking with their dicks!

She huffed indignantly and kept on ignoring the Ricks on her way.

It wasn't long before she finally reached her destination: Morty Academy.  
What probably only few knew was that she was actually the Minister of Education and therefore responsible for this school and its teachings.  
A few rumors that she was a teacher had been floating around with people only seeing her walking in and out of the school building occasionally. However, that sort of job was beyond her.  
Who was she, Governess Ava Rickinsocks, to stand in the same room as a bunch of pubescent teenage boys, trying to educate them in manners and other important values that Mortys needed to learn in order to be useful to their Ricks?

Again, she released an indignant sniff as she walked past a bunch of Mortys who were staring at her and whispering as she walked by. She stopped and glared sternly at one Morty who clearly called her a witch under his breath and the boy looked like he was about to wet his pants when he noticed her stare.  
Ava may be in her seventies, but her hearing was more than splendid. _Thank you very much._

Continuing on her way anew, she entered the building and made a beeline for the office of the principal.  
Principal Rick, in stark contrast to his other-dimensional counterparts and grandsons, was instantly on his feet as Ava walked in and welcomed her.

"Governess, such a pleasure to see you. I hope you had a safe trip. Please take a seat. Would you like some tea?" he groveled around her like the pathetic Salesman Ricks that were always at the back and call of their customers.

"Let's quit the pleasantries and just get to business." Ava cut straight to the chase and sat on the offered chair.

She pulled a thick stack of papers from her purse and dropped them unceremoniously on the desk. Principal Rick visible paled and his jaw dropped.

"There's a lot of things we need to go through." She started the conversation.

The principal was trying to pull himself together again. "Um…not to complain, but do you really think that it's wise to come up with these changes now, so close before the election of the first president?" He asked reluctantly.

The governess was nonplussed. "Yes, I do think that it is necessary right now. At the risk that this will be all changed again after the election is over."

She giggled on the inside at the defeated look that she saw on her opposite's face and started going through the papers with a stern and serious expression on the outside. Decidedly, that face alone was already worth all the effort she had put into this.  
Though she did feel as bored as the principal of Morty Academy looked as they went over all the changes that would soon apply.

While originally the Council had been ultimately the Ricks who were in charge of everything regarding the Citadel's system, they had assigned some ministers to hand down some of the more tedious and unwanted tasks that came with the ruling position. Ava was one of the few that was blessed (or rather cursed) with one such a post.

And since the Council did currently not exist anymore – all of them having been murdered by the Rogue Rick – the assigned ministers were the only ones who still kept the Citadel running as it was and even if there was a chance that Ava would have to work double after the elections, she was confident that the new president would also be just same lazy ass Rick who would gladly hand the work down to the minsters again.

The only way that things would turn out differently was if a female Rick would be elected, but unfortunately, not one woman had stepped forward to take on the challenge.

They were probably too smart to even try. Ava herself couldn't have been bothered with that either.

Not only would that job be beneath her, but she also didn't feel like going through the humiliation that the media would start creating about her if she joined in on the campaigning. And there was no doubt that they would do that, simply for the fact because she was a female.

It would probably be the exact same thing that they were doing with the Morty party, only that they could pull different and more misogynic jokes instead.

Ava mentally sighed through the hour-long monotonous droning and hoped that this boring task would be over soon. The only thing that she could look forward to was the fact that she would be seeing Dandy Rick later.

Unfortunately, he seemed to be the only decent Rick all around, but better one than none at all…

* * *

AN: It feels a little unfinished, but I wanted to end it there. I could have probably gone on with Ava meeting up with Dandy Rick or something, but I have no plot or anything, so…it is more than 100 words, so prompt completed according to the rules of the challenge!


	15. Chapter 15: Evil Rick

AN: This prompt was one that I had been looking forward to again.

Warnings: manipulation, (minor) character death, psychopathic tendencies/behavior

Summary: Evil Rick never suspected what his grandson could be capable of. So, he also never expected the fate that eventually awaited him.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 15: Evil Rick – A True Rickicidal Psychopath or Just a Pathetic Puppet?**

"Really, Beth?! Are you really so delusional that you don't notice what is going on?!"

Rick sighed in annoyance.

"You're just making a mountain out of a molehill, Jerry!"

"Oh, am I really, Beth?! Am I?! Have you even seen what he did?!"

While he tried to concentrate on the gadget that he was working on, he could feel his focus slipping. Beth and Jerry were having one of their infamous arguments in the parlor, but they were loud enough that Rick cloud clearly hear every word through the entire kitchen and the closed door of the garage.

"Apparently you haven't or you would notice that this is anything but normal, Beth! It was another corpse! A freaking corpse again!"

"I'm sure that it's just a phase."

"A PHASE?! Beth, he was playing with a corpse that he dug up from the graveyard again! How many did that even make this month?! He's a psychopath!"

Rick groaned.  
Would the two of them just get a divorce already!

"Just admit already that your father is a bad influence on our son, Beth!"

"My dad isn't a bad influence!"

What Rick hated most about their stupid fights was that they always pinned their failing marriage on other people. It didn't really bother him when the discussion went to him.  
However, it did bother him that lately more often than not, they pushed the fault onto their son. As if Morty could be really held responsible for the mistakes that his parents made…

"How is he not?! He's a psychopathic mad scientist!"

"No, he's just a brilliant scientist and genius!"

"Oh really?! Then why does he never let anyone in the garage since he set foot in our house?!"

"It's just because he doesn't want anyone to mess with his inventions! You'd end up breaking them if you would get even close to them! Even I would know that much, Jerry! You're just jealous because you have no one in your own family who's as brilliant as my dad is!"

"I just can't believe you, Beth! Your father is a crazy and raising our son to become a complete sociopath and you still protect that bastard!"

The door opened without a knock. Rick knew that it could only be one person even before he heard his voice.

"Hey, Rick." Morty said as he closed the door behind himself again and walked closer to the workbench.

In the background, the voices of his parents could still be heard arguing, as Jerry demanded that they'd throw out Rick and sent Morty to a mental hospital.  
Rick inwardly scoffed at the notion.  
There was nothing wrong with his grandson. The boy was a bit of a wimp – which was not even his fault, but only thanks to the genes of his sorry excuse for a sperm donor – but otherwise a very helpful assistant to him.

"Is there something you need help with, Rick?" Morty asked.

"Sure. I need to harvest—need to get some organs from that Splorkian. Actually, I just need his heart. So, be a good helper and dissect him for me, okay Morty?"

The boy looked over to the table that he mentioned at.

"Is it still alive?" he asked needlessly as the Splorkian that laid bound and gagged on said table was wiggling around.

The creature looked actually very human-like.

"Of course, he is. I need that organ as fresh as it can be. Going to make a delicious soup out of it."

"Um, and where is its heart? Is it in the same place where a human's heart is—I mean anatomically speaking?"

"Not quite. Just make a sternotomy like I taught you and look around till you find it." He handed the boy a scalpel and put his entire focus back on his gadget again.

"And what does it look like? The same like a human heart?"

"Kind of. It's purple though and a little bigger. I-I-I'm sure you'll recognize it once you see it."

He only spared a brief glance at his grandson as the boy began to cut the living alien open – its screams muffled by the gag while Morty's face was completely emotionless.

* * *

As Rick opened his eyes, he felt disoriented. His vision was weird. Not exactly fuzzy, but static-y. As if he was looking at the footage of a camera and not looking through his own eyes.

He also felt weird in his body as if it wasn't his own.  
However, as he looked at his reflection when he passed a window, he could see that it clearly still was his body. He wore his favorite black sweater and still had his scar that ran along over the right side of his mouth. Pretty distinctive features for a Rick.

What was new though were the heavy rings beneath his eyes. He looked like he didn't get a wink of sleep for weeks, which was weird.  
After all, he felt like he just woke up from a really long slumber. Although that couldn't be, since he was walking through some kind of hallway. That's not how you usually wake up.

He wondered where he was and where he was actually walking to. This place didn't look familiar at all.  
It was only when his legs continued to carry him to wherever he was currently going that he noticed that he had no control over his body. Just what was going on?

A lump settled in the pit of his stomach as he had a hunch to what exactly was actually going on here. He just didn't want think that he was right in his assumption. Didn't want to believe that someone had used the technology that he had created – the technology that he had worked on for years – against him. Because if that was true, it could only mean a couple of things and he liked neither of those possibilities…

His line of thoughts was interrupted as he entered a room where he was greeted by the sight of his grandson. It didn't ease his current confusion one bit.  
The boy wore an eyepatch and even more surprisingly, he had Rick's portal gun.

'Morty?' He wanted to ask what was going on, but his lips didn't budge and his vocal cords didn't react.

Instead, he could only watch as the brunet dialed some coordinates on the portal gun and then handed it to him.

"Ready, Rick?" he asked with a grin on his face that looked purely evil.

He had never seen such an expression on his grandson's face and was taken aback a little.  
Still unable to react out of his own accord, he could only watch how his own hand grabbed the offered portal gun and opened a portal. He quickly ventured through it together with his grandson, wondering where they would end up in, since he didn't really get a good look at those coordinates that were put into the device.

He was utterly confused when they emerged in the dining room of the Smith house. Even though it was obviously not the same house that he knew because the entire family including a Rick and a Morty were sitting at the table and eating breakfast.

It was such a familiar scene. One that he had seen and experienced many times, but for some odd reason it felt like it was so long ago.

Before anyone in the family knew what was going on, he raised the plasma gun from inside his lab coat and shot the unsuspecting Rick right in the forehead – killing him with the single shot.

Chaos broke out as the family began to scream.

His grandson readied the gun that he had brought along himself and aimed with it at the Morty. It was obvious that his intent wasn't to kill the boy though as something that could only be a tranquilizer dart hit the brunet who then slumped over and landed with his face right in his breakfast.

The family was still panicking and yelling as he and his Morty went to the boy, grabbed him by his arms and the cloth of his yellow t-shirt and then dragged him with them through the still open portal.  
Everything went so fast that the poor family could probably still not grasp what had just happened.  
Rick himself was having trouble fully understanding what had just went down even if he was (unwillingly) a part of it.

Sure, it wasn't the first time that he had killed. And it also wasn't the first time that he had killed a Rick.  
But even he – despite having been nicknamed Evil Rick by his alternate counterparts – would never kill a Rick right in front of his own family like that. And why did they bother to abduct his Morty?  
It was all really confusing and also frankly horrifying to him.

Morty let go of his alternate self as soon as the portal closed behind them and Rick was the one who carried the boy now.  
Where he was going with him, he did not know, but his grandson was right by his side the entire time, having taken his portal gun back again to put it in the back of his pants, hidden by the yellow t-shirt.

They passed through hallways, which all looked the same for a while and he still wondered where the heck they were right now. The facility looked kind of desolate yet it wasn't in a state that it looked like it had been completely abandoned.  
They halted in front of a door that was guarded by a big alien that looked like it was some sort of crustacean.

Morty took the unconscious boy from him and his own hand went to a button that opened the door. Inside he could see what could only be a cell and the inmates were Mortys. Many Mortys.  
And all of those boys looked in fright up at him, whimpering pathetically.

His grandson dropped the unconscious boy on the cell floor and didn't even spare his pitiful counterparts a single glance.

"Quit your whining you useless, little turds." He could hear his own voice say yet it sounded so foreign to him.

Why did he even say that?  
Just to look like a villain? Acting like a tyrant towards these helpless boys who didn't even had the power to cause any harm to him or fight back?  
It was just weird.

After the drop off, he pushed another button to close the door again and he was back on his way with his grandson, walking through more countless hallways.  
Just what in the world was going on here? And why had he no control over his own body?  
It was obvious that he was being controlled by someone else right now, but by who? It couldn't be his Morty, could it? The boy would never do something like that. Or would he…?

Eventually they ended up in something that looked like a control room.  
Morty sat down on a seat and lounged comfortably while he himself went to a control panel and hit a few buttons.

The shields that had been surrounding the glass dome above them were lowered and revealed a layer of what was a human wall. Not just a human wall, but a wall of naked Mortys that were currently tortured by the devices that they were strapped to.  
The boys' cries of agony could be heard over the speakers now.

He didn't know what to think. Just who would build something freaky like this?  
Of course, he knew that a Morty was able to shield a Rick from most of their enemies. And a bunch of Mortys in pain were able to shield you even from other Ricks. From what he could see past the naked boys, they were on an absolutely remote planet and it was obvious that no one was going to find them here – not even the Council of Ricks.  
But why the effort? Why hide like this? And why doing something like this kiddy porn horror show? It was complete overkill.

"Ah. Isn't it such a beautiful symphony?" His grandson sighed pleased.

His body turned around to look at the boy with the eyepatch who seemed very comfortable with the fucked up sight and sounds that were surrounding him.  
There was no doubt anymore that he was behind all of this even if he didn't understand why he did it. Or, how he could do this to his own grandfather.

"Mmm-Mo—Mm-M-Mor—" The attempt to call out his grandson's name was nothing more than a low rumble in the back of his throat, but it caught the boy's attention. "Mmm-Mor-Morty!"

"Oh, looks like we need to do some recalibrating." Morty said as he sat up and walked over to a bunch of tools and instruments that laid out on a small table.

He picked up something, which Rick could easily identify as a laser defribulator.

"Don't worry. I will make sure that you will go back to sleep again, Grandpa Rick."

This would be the last time that Evil Rick was "awake"…

* * *

AN: Maybe this is a good point in time to mention that I'm personally not on par with the "Evil Morty is Rick C-137's original Morty" theory. I've actually written a little (better said a _long_ ) rant about that on my tumblr, so if you're interested in seeing my opinion and reasoning, you can actually read it here: ramheavenandhell .tumblr post /179088946546 /my-opinion-on-the-theory-that-evil-morty-is-rick


	16. Alternative Chapter 16: Chair Rick

AN: I had to use another joker again, so instead of the prompted Salesman Rick, we're getting some action with Chair Rick (mostly because I'm already working on a oneshot about him outside of the challenge).  
This chapter is dedicated to the lovely rosemary_madness (on AO3), who wanted some furniture smut. Here you go, darling :)

Warning: Chair Rick x Armchair Morty and furniture smut (it's bound to be weird!)

Summary: A continuation to "of chairs and other things that you shouldn't do": Chair Rick can't stop thinking about having been violated by that human Morty. However, he isn't really as upset about the whole event as he should be. And above all, it gave him some weird ideas about his own grandson.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Alternative Chapter 16: Chair Rick – Of Coil Springs, Bolster Holes and Furniture Rickmaroles**

Chair Rick was hanging out in the garage, hovering over his workbench and somehow tinkering on a gadget with his armrests in a way that seemed to defy all human logic. Despite his calm outer appearance, a storm was raging on inside of his mind.

No matter how hard he tried to focus on his current project, his thoughts always kept drifting back to one thing. To one simple, yet unusual event that had occurred mere weeks ago.  
He kept thinking back to the time when the alternate version of his grandson had intruded in their lives and house (mostly thanks to his own Morty allowing the little shit to stay).

Even if Chair Rick wasn't a hundred percent sure yet what exactly it was that had happened, he was certain that the human boy had violated him.  
Though, it was in a pretty strange way if he thought about it. Aside from the fact that he had actually no idea about human anatomy, he also found it very strange that the boy had put his "thing" inside the small space beneath his seat cushion and then soiled it. And he had been really angry about that because it took him half an eternity to properly clean himself up again – actually, he still thought that he felt a bit sticky around the area.

The humiliation that he got to experience thanks to that ungrateful turd only fueled his anger and favorably he would have travelled to that brat's dimension to beat him up for it good.  
However, if he were honest with himself, he would have liked to do a lot more to the boy. Take it as a chance to study human anatomy and maybe figure out if there was a way that chair people could actually copulate with them properly.

Yet, no matter where exactly his thoughts with that drifted, it always ran into a wall. Because it all lead to the fact that in order to do that, he would need a portal gun and it felt like near impossible for him to build one. Not even because his lack of skill (being a chair might mean limited mobility and there was a big difference whether you had actual hands to work with or just armrests, but Rick had never let that hinder himself), but mostly because it was near impossible to get his armrests on the materials that he would need to power it.

So, lately – more often than not – his thoughts would start to take a turn and wander to the next best thing. His very own grandson – Armchair Morty.  
Of course, the boy wasn't a human, but a furniture person like Rick himself. However, it was only after the advances of his grandson's alternate self that Rick had even started to entertain the idea of having sex with his own bolster and padding.

He knew that these thoughts were dangerous. Incest was frowned upon in their dimension as much as in most other ones and he knew that Beth would kick him out of the house if she would even get so much as the idea that her father was thinking indecently about her son. For all her daddy issues and clinginess, he had no doubt about that.

The other, far more important matter was actually how Morty would think about that though. While the boy loved to follow him around like a shadow, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't freak out when Rick would reveal his sexual interest towards him.  
Even if he constantly complained about the lack of interest that females had in him and about not getting laid. Especially when his grandfather was getting some while he was forced to wait in front of some bar or wherever Rick had dragged him again while he "stretched out his springs", so to speak.

All he needed was some kind of sign that Morty might be interested, too. Even the slightest hint that he maybe had a little crush on his amazing grandpa.  
Rick was desperate for anything, no matter how small. 'Cause there was no way that, he would even attempt coming onto Morty if he didn't know for sure that the boy might reciprocate. And if he didn't, Rick would probably leave and set up tent elsewhere in the universe without ever returning. A thought that he wasn't particularly entertaining, seeing as he had started to cherish the time spent with his grandson even if he didn't always show it.

So, until an opportunity would arise, he was trying to keep himself busy with his science.  
He hopelessly continued to tinker away on the odd device, which resembled a mix between lettuce and molten cheese and occasionally took a sip from the small vodka-filled truck that stood handily next to his project on the workbench.  
Caught up in his thoughts again, he didn't even notice when the door opened and the current center of his sexual fantasies peeked inside.

"Hey, Rick. What are you doing?" the furniture boy asked as he ventured to his side and looked curiously at the invention-in-the-making.

Rick went off on an overly scientific explanation of what he was trying to accomplish, knowing full well that his grandson wouldn't even understand half of what he said.  
However, seeing the cute, confused expression on his pillow was always worth it.

He continued to tinker while Morty watched on, occasionally fetching one tool or another for him. At some point, Rick accidentally dropped this dimension's equivalent of a screwdriver.

"Morty, be useful and pick that up for me." He instructed.

Rick couldn't be bothered to crawl underneath his workbench and pick it up himself. Not that he was too old to do it if he wanted to, but why should he bother when he had his little assistant?

Obediently, Morty bent over to reach the fallen object on the floor and from where Rick was seated, he got a perfect view of the armchair's backside, watching enraptured as the blue cover slid a little upwards on the furniture boy's frame.

Fuck! He really wanted to screw Morty. Badly!

* * *

Rick was almost convinced that it was a lost case after waiting and keeping a close eye on Morty for another three weeks after that. A tiny part inside him demanded that he'd just make an invention with which he could manipulate the furniture boy till he came crawling to him, needy and begging to get fucked.  
As appealing as that idea (and the image that came with it) sounded, he still held back on it. Even with absence of a moral compass, there were just some lines that Rick wouldn't cross.

Then again, screwing a family member had also been regarded as one of those lines until very recently. Still, no need to make matters worse by crossing more.  
He told himself that if Morty would be into it, he'd do it, but if not, he'd just turn heel and leave it be.  
Seriously, if it was just concerning sex, he knew where to get it elsewhere – and probably even better, considering that the young armchair was still a virgin.

However, miracles do occasionally happen. Even to a genius like Rick Sanchez who doesn't believe in such things.

It was just another ordinary day and Rick was hanging out in the garage at his workbench as usual.  
While he feigned to work intently on a new invention, he was actually fantasizing about the human Morty again. Imagining how he would convince him to get the ride of his lifetime (a promise that he intended to keep as always) and invite him to take a seat on him and sit right down on his—  
His little fantasy was suddenly interrupted as his grandson came scuffing into the garage, looking clearly upset.

"What crawled under your cushions?" Rick asked in an as little interested voice as he could muster when he saw Morty's expression.

The young armchair had just come home from school and looked incredibly upset. Rick prepared for him to tell him that a bully beat him up again and already made plans in his head how the guy would be having a little "accident" later on.

"There's this dance this weekend and I heard that Brad was away on a training camp with the football team, which means that Jessica doesn't have a date yet." Morty started to explain and Rick could already see where this was going. "So, I thought, I could ask Jessica out, but she rejected me. Even though I overheard, when she was talking with her friends, that no one had asked her out yet…"

Jessica. Of course, Rick knew her. She was the pretty lounge sofa that Morty had the hots for and talking about nonstop ever since he entered high school.  
It was annoying and frankly frustrating for Rick constantly having to listen to Morty fawning over her.

"I-I would understand it if she said 'no' when she already knows that she's going with her boyfriend. But saying no when she doesn't even have a date yet, th-that's just…" Morty sighed. "I guess I'll never really have a chance with her. Or anyone for that matter…"

Rick didn't even bother to console his grandson with faked sympathy, so instead he said, "Just suck it up, Morty. It's just a stupid school dance anyway. In a few years, you won't even remember anymore that there was a dance to begin with. Not like it would have mattered anyways if you went with someone to it or not."

"That's easy for you to say, Rick! You can have everyone that you want. You don't know how it is to not get the one person that you like to want you."

'If you only knew…' Rick thought.

"No one wants me…" Morty finished sadly and looked even more resigned than before.

Rick scoffed, hoping to cheer him up at least a little with his following words. "Listen, Morty. You may be dumb and clumsy and not look all that great, but even if you've got nothing going for you, ev-even you will eventually find someone that's going to like you the way you are. Y-you know, the whole "every cushion finds its seat" thing. That's-that's how the saying goes, right?"

Instead of cheering up, his grandson made an angry face. "It's a stupid saying and statistically speaking not even true. For all I know, no one will ever want me. Not even you would fuck me even though you practically fuck anything that's sentient."

Rick's eyes widened. This was it, wasn't it? This was the signal that he had been waiting for!  
…or maybe he was just really badly interpreting the nonsense that an upset teenager was sprouting in the midst of his sexual frustration.  
Whatever it was, he wasn't going to let this chance slip.

"You sound like you're really confident in your assumption, Morty." Rick said challengingly.

He rose one side of his unibrow and smirked confidently. A face that he often made when he had interest in someone and planned to lay them.  
This detail also didn't go completely unnoticed by Morty, who looked quite nervous now. Like prey that was being eyed by a hungry predator.

"Wh-what? You-you don't really mean that. Right, Rick?"

"You wanna find out?" The smug expression didn't disappear from the elderly furniture's face.

Morty began to blush now and avoided eye contact with his grandfather. He fidgeted nervously around and his mind was visibly racing, as he was most likely trying to figure out if Rick was serious or just trying to pull his chair leg again.  
He was probably expecting Rick to burst out in loud laughter any second now, saying that he was just making a joke, but as he looked up at Rick again, the elder only arched one side of his brow up a little as if asking him for an answer to his offer.

"Well, Morty?" Rick additionally verbalized the question for him.

"Uh…um…" Morty began to hopelessly stutter, not getting a single sentence much less a single comprehensible word out.

Taking the lack of protest as a good sign, Rick wobbled closer towards him. He came close enough up at his grandson's side that he could whisper in his not-winged "ear".

"You wanna take a ride on Grandpa's seat, Morty?" he repeated the words that he had told the human Morty in his fantasy.

The yellow pillow was practically red at this point, with how hotly Morty was blushing.  
Probably not trusting his own voice right now, he nodded.  
This made a grin break out on Rick's face.  
Then he awkwardly leaned forward as much as he could and pulled the yellow cushion with the cute little face closer towards his own to kiss him.

Morty's eyes widened at the gesture. Kissing was actually something like a sacred ritual for furniture people – something that only married couples did – mostly because it was a real big effort to do it with how impractically their faces were usually stuck on the backrest. No one would bother going through this tedious task if it wasn't true love.  
As such, it was a real surprise for Morty that his grandfather would actually go this far. Sex was one thing, but kissing…

"Um…Rick…you…" Morty stuttered helplessly as his lips had been released once more.

Rick chuckled and gently stroked with the tip of his armrest over the part of the cushion that would be considered his cheeks. Despite the still confident attitude, a slight blush was also staining his face now.  
That was practically just a wordless confession of his love and not really planned, but oh well… It was out now.

"You know, Morty, if you wanna back out of this now is your chance to say no." Rick said even though he started to rub up against Morty now.

Morty hummed mindlessly as he enjoyed the arousing sensation of the other furniture rubbing against his sensitive side. Almost as if he hadn't heard what his grandfather had said.

"Morty?" Rick asked again for confirmation and stopped his movements.

The furniture boy opened his eyes that he had closed in bliss and look straight back into Rick's blue ones now. "Pl-please don't stop, Rick. Keep going. _Please_."

This was all that the elderly armchair needed to hear and he continued to move against his grandson, who eagerly humped back against him.  
Upholstery covers were rubbing back and forth against each other, creating pleasant friction and causing both furniture to moan in pleasure.  
They continued touching and stroking as much as they could before Chair Rick's patience grew thin.

So, he stopped his actions and then pulled his seat cushion a bit forward until a single, large coil spring sprung free from beneath it.  
Morty took in the sight with wide eyes, just looking at how long and thick and tightly wound it was.  
It was something that Rick was obviously quite proud of and openly boasted with, but he could clearly read from his grandson's distressed face and nervous trembling that he didn't share the same opinion about it right now. The little piece of furniture probably thought it would destroy his stuffing to an irreparable degree if Rick would put that inside of him.

Rick acted as if he was unaware of his grandson's demise. So, instead of commenting on it or something, he just pulled on the fabric cover at Morty's back, lifting it up enough to reveal a small hole at the bottom.  
In order to get in a proper position to fuck, Rick then hoisted the little armchair up to place him on top of himself.

"N-no, Rick! Wait!" Morty yelled in mortification.

The boy was clearly getting cold chair legs right now.

"Don't get your springs in a coil, Morty." Rick just dismissed him easily.

"B-but, I-I-I—" Morty sounded like he was desperately trying to come up with an excuse so that he wouldn't get speared by that huge spring.

Rick didn't even had to wonder why his grandson didn't outright tell him that he had changed his mind about this. He was pretty sure that Morty was avoiding it because he was convinced that Rick would possibly make a degrading comment about him being a virgin pussy or something like that.  
Well, Rick would have done that in any other situation, but even he wasn't mean enough to do that right now.

"I-I'm too heavy!" Morty finally settled on.

Rick resisted the urge to roll with his eyes.  
Was that the only thing that Morty could come up with?

The older furniture only scoffed, "Pff. Nonsense."

Then he held him over his seat, placing his spiral right at Morty's entrance.  
The furniture boy whimpered, but much to his surprise, Rick didn't move yet.

"It's okay to be scared the first time, Morty." Rick whispered gently. "But you don't really have to be. I'll be gentle. You're going to like it, I'll make sure of that. You just gotta relax for me, okay?"

The reassuring words actually eased Morty's nerves a little and his stiff bolster relaxed a bit again. Rick took this as the okay to proceed and finally lowered him on his tightly coiled spring.

Morty screeched as his padding was pushed around inside him to accommodate the foreign object that entered him.  
Rick stopped again once Morty was completely impaled.  
He waited for both of them to get adjusted to the sensation before he began to move again.

Deeming both himself and Morty ready, he slowly lifted the smaller armchair up before lowering him again. The hard, but smooth metal moved back and forth, rubbing against the soft and dense batting that tightly hugged and squished the coil that was invading it.

The elder could feel a tension building up inside him and sped up his pace as he could hear his grandson's soft moans and pleads for more, obviously enjoying what was happening to him now.  
Rick was sure that Morty's springs were coiling tighter underneath his cushion from the stimulation, too. And it was exactly what he was aiming for.

Moaning and groaning they kept going at it, Morty trying to balance himself as he bounced up and down on his grandfather's big spring again and again.  
Rick knew that it wouldn't be long before they both would reach their end and tried to additionally pet over every part of Morty that he could reach with his armrests right now to draw out the sensation for him.

Eventually, he couldn't hold back anymore and with a long and satisfying *boing* the spring that was buried inside his grandson (as well as several others still tugged underneath his cushion seat) stretched out. Luckily, he managed to keep all of the smaller and loose springs to himself because the last that he needed was for them to bounce into the boy and possibly impregnate him. Morty practically screamed and Rick could hear Morty's own springs uncoiling with similar noises.

For a moment, they sat still, Morty sitting limply on Rick's seat cushion and they needed a moment to catch their breath and gather their thoughts again.  
Finding back to himself first, Rick lifted his exhausted grandson off of his unwound spring – a task, which wasn't quite easy in its current state and causing Morty to whimper – and then sat him back down on the ground again.

While the smaller was obviously still out of it and dazedly leaned against him, Rick looked over the floor at the mess that Morty had created.  
He really needed to clean up all the small loose springs that lay scattered over the floor before Beth or anyone else in the family would walk in and ask questions about it.  
But hell, if it hadn't been worth it!

* * *

AN: Phew, again this turned out longer than it should have, but whatever. While there wasn't much time for big world building, I hope that I got a few things (and differences) about the chair dimension across – including my headcanon that despite the facial features and gender pronouns and all of that, they basically only have one sex. I was really thinking long and hard about how those furniture people could possibly copulate and hope that my version seems somewhat okay ^^'  
(On a side note: this was probably the weirdest thing I have written yet.)


	17. Chapter 17: Cop Rick

AN: I don't feel too confident with this one. I mean, I think I got my point across with this, but it still feels a little off… oh, well. I hope you'll still enjoy it.

Warnings: mentions of canonical character death, grieving and paranoia

Summary: Cop Rick can't stop thinking about his first day on the job…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 17: Cop Rick – A ricking weird first day on the job**

Rick stared at the top of the wooden table, his hands the only thing that were holding his head up as he went over today's events again.  
They still kept him inside the hearing room even though he had already retold multiples times what had happened – confessed his sins.

This had to be worst first day on a job that any Police Officer Rick could ever have.  
Just this morning he had met his partner – a Cop Morty – for the very first time and right now he was laying in the morgue on an examination table with a hole in his head.  
A hole that Rick had put there with his blaster, no less.

He sighed and pulled lightly on his hair to stop himself from going over this horrible day in his mind again.  
Just when would they finally decide to let him out? He had already confessed everything. He had broken the law. Several times in fact.  
They should just put him in a cell already or drag him straight in front of the next available judge so he would get his sentence.  
Probably just shove him out of the airlock like they did with murderers on the Citadel lately. That was quick, straight to the point and was most often done even without a proper trial if the case was as clear as his.

The door finally opened and ripped him out of his dark thoughts. Two Ricks in guard uniforms entered and one of them approached him.

"Why am I still here? I have already confessed to everything." He started.

However, he was surprised when his cuffs were taken off and the higher official only stated, "Your case has been reviewed. You're free to go."

He couldn't believe what he had just heard. "But, I've violated at least a dozen departmental codes…"

"New department. New codes." Was the only explanation that he got. "New Citadel."

Cop Rick stood up, but still couldn't believe it.

"And now get out of here."

He was practically thrown out of the hearing room and slowly stumbled his way towards his locker.  
It was definitely the weirdest day that anyone could have as his first day on the job…

* * *

That night, Rick lay awake in bed. Despite telling himself, what every Rick constantly told himself, he couldn't stop thinking about it.  
His mind replayed all of the events that had happened that day, pointing out to him all the mistakes he had made. He tried to think about the outcome if he had just done something differently.

It was ultimately his fault that it all had ended as it did. If he would have just stopped his partner from the beginning then none of this would have happened. None of it would have needed to happen.  
This laid solely in his responsibility.

 _Put your faith in a Morty. You just have to pick the right one._

Was that his biggest mistake? That he had put his faith in the wrong Morty?  
Was it wrong for him to trust his partner?

It probably was.  
Maybe it was a bad idea to even trust a Morty to begin with?

In his special sensitive training, he learned that Mortys were sensitive little things. They were their grandsons and just wanted the approval and familial love of their grandfather – no matter from which Rick.  
While stuck on a space station full of geniuses, they were treated as not equal because in comparison, they were idiots – and they knew it, too – yet, they were not okay with that kind of treatment.  
And Rick could see the whole point of that.

However, the Mortys that he had seen and met today – the rickless Mortys that lived in Morty Town, told him a different story.  
They weren't looking for some sort of approval or a friendly hand that was reaching for them.  
No. These boys hated Ricks. Hated them with a passion and were willing enough to deceive them – playing the innocent victims – if it would just give them a chance to kill.

The stab wound in his back still stung at the memory and it made him wonder if all Mortys were this deceiving. If they all were doing it constantly and tried tricking all the Ricks around them. Making them believe that they are naïve and innocent and incapable of ever posing a threat to a Rick.  
The thought made him paranoid.

Rick himself didn't actually have a Morty of his own. Never had. So, he couldn't quite fathom how the actual relationship between a Rick and his grandson was.  
Quite honestly, when he had visited the Citadel for the first time, he had been so confused by the sight of the brunets in the yellow t-shirt. Thankfully another Rick, who wasn't quite as much an ass as most others of his kind, had explained to him who they were.

He first was confused because Rick never had a family of his own. He had never met this Diane in his dimension, which about every other Rick had married at one point and then fathered a daughter with her.  
Despite all that, he felt a certain fondness for the dumb-looking boy. Some sort of connection. After all that was his own flesh and blood even if in some weird it also wasn't.  
Yet no other Rick seemed to give them any affection…or at least they didn't show that they felt such a thing for them.  
So, Rick also tried to not show it. And he quickly learned to live with the circumstances that Mortys were just a part of life on the Citadel.

However, even though he was practically surrounded by these boys in his daily life, today was actually the first day that he had been properly in contact with a Morty.  
Sure, there were the occasional interactions with a vendor or barista Morty when he went to buy something, but other than that, he never get to have a real talk with a Morty. He never stuck around a Morty and witnessed his actions.  
And he certainly had never been around to see what a Morty could be capable of.

After this fucked up day, he doubted that he ever would be able to trust a Morty again. He would never be able to look at them the same way again. Would never be fooled by those innocent fawn-colored eyes again.  
No, he wouldn't let himself be deceived. He would be a better Rick than that.

As his alarm beeped, signaling that it was already morning again and he hadn't gotten even a wink of sleep this night, he groaned.  
It really had been a fucked up first day on the job…and he doubted that it was going to get any better from here on out.


	18. Chapter 18: Super Fan Rick

AN: I could have done so much with this prompt, but I ended up doing this and I have no idea how it came to this…

Warnings: none really (maybe obsessive Rick, but you know who this prompt is about, don't you?) Super Fan Rick might feel like a creeper, but it's (supposed to be) platonic Rick-Morty in this one.

Summary: Super Fan Rick is out to catch Mortys again. Of course, before he catches them, a serious study of them is in order.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 18: Super Fan Rick – The Morty of his Ricksistence**

Super Fan Rick was hiding behind the bushes and watching a Morty who was trying to set up a tent. To anyone else he might have looked like some weird stalker, but that wasn't really what he was… or at least, he would tell you that.

This Rick had been actually a pretty normal and boring kind of Rick before this little craze had started.  
Suddenly Ricks from all over the Citadel and various dimensions started to collect Mortys, trained them and let them fight against each other. To Super Fan Rick this had been an eye-opener. He finally understood the meaning of his existence and almost chided himself for having been so blind for such a long time.  
Obviously, it was Mortys!

Still, he was different from other Ricks in his pursuits.  
Of course, he wanted to catch Mortys like the others, but he didn't have much of an interest in training them or letting them fight against each other even though he did do that from time to time, too.  
He knew that Mortys weren't really good fighters – though there were always exceptions to the rule – but that was fine with him because he was more of a collector.

His greatest goal at the moment was to get a complete collection.  
He wanted to call all the cool-looking and all the cute Mortys his own. Even, the not-so-cool-looking and not-so-cute Mortys would be fine.  
And like any collector, his greatest joy was to look at his own collection who was neatly stored at his home right now, free-roaming in an appropriate, Morty-safe room and playing, eating, or sleeping like usual. Of course, there were other Ricks who were even more hardcore in collecting Mortys and kept them locked up in tight little showcases, but Super Fan Rick was clearly one of the nicer collectors.

As much fun as it was to watch his own little flock of Mortys, he also enjoyed watching his soon-to-be new additions like the little Morty who had been working on setting up that tent without much success.  
Super Fan Rick had pulled out his smartphone to take a video of the boy who looked in frustration down at the parts and tried to figure out how to put them together.  
The sight was so cute that Rick actually squealed. He squealed as a little schoolgirl would squeal over an adorable puppy or kitten.

The Morty looked around in slight irritation as he heard the sound and seemed ready to flee at any moment.  
Super Rick Fan stifled himself by covering his mouth with one hand. It wouldn't be good if he scared the little thing off.

Not being able to find the source of the sound and also not hearing anymore of the weird noises the Morty calmed down again and was back to his original task.  
He started to fumble around with the metal poles, trying to figure out how they needed to be fit together and none of his results came even close to resembling what the finished tent was supposed to look like.

Rick made sure to get it all on video especially as the Morty got frustrated and took the odd structure apart again, throwing all the loose parts on the ground and starting all over again.  
Eventually, he managed to put them together properly and looked so proud of himself that Super Fan almost squealed again.  
Mortys were just so adorable!

Next, he watched how the boy tried to put the cloth-part over the basic structure.  
"Tried" was the right word because the Morty ended up entangling himself in the cloth and stumbled to the ground, looking a little like an insect that was trying to break out of its chrysalis.  
Super Fan Rick inched a little closer to make sure that he would have all of that adorable behavior on video while he alternately cooed and softly giggled at the funny sight of the struggle that the boy had with his tent.

He vaguely noticed that this might be a good opportunity to actually catch the Morty, but he was so amused that he didn't want to intervene yet.  
No, Rick would wait until the little Morty fell asleep before he would chip him – though, he was probably going to watch the boy sleep for a little while, too.  
There was still enough battery on his mobile for that, right?

The Morty finally emerged from within the cloth, having managed to fight himself out of his confines and gasped for air. His face was also a little red now.  
Rick could just imagine the boy playing as adorably like that with the cat Morty sleeper sack that he had at home. There were also so many other toys at Super Fan's home that the Morty could be playing with.

With unwavering interest, Rick continued to watch the boy who after a few more failed attempts finally managed to erect the tent. However, his housing for the night looked crooked and not very stable, but for the Morty it still seemed good enough.  
It slowly started to darken and the Super Fan had to switch his camera to night vision, so he could continue to film the Morty.

The little boy nibbled on some snacks that he had with him before yawning – which made Super Fan squeal again, albeit quieter than before – and then went into his tent to go and sleep.  
After waiting for a while and making sure that the boy really slept – Rick had learned the hard way that the little guys liked to rub one out before really going to sleep – the Super Fan slowly approached, careful to not make any noise that could rouse the sleeping Morty.

He crawled into the tent and over to the sleeping bag in which the little Morty laid.  
Grabbing his mobile phone, he snapped a picture of the sleeping boy's face and posted it on his "Ricker" with the caption "My newest catch".  
If you were to check Super Rick Fan's Ricker, you would find several similar pictures like that. Similar to what he always posted on his "Rickbook" account.

With warm eyes and a gentle smile, Rick looked down at the Morty once more as he pocketed his mobile again.

"Such a cute little Morty." Super Fan whispered and gently pat the brown curls of the sleeping boy.

He bent down and gave him a soft peck on the forehead before he placed the injector on the Morty's temple and chipped him.  
Since the boy was asleep, there wasn't much struggle though he twitched in his sleep as if he were in pain. As the LED on the chip turned green, the Morty relaxed back into his peaceful slumber and Rick continued to smile as he looked down on him.  
He wasn't going to wake the boy now. They could return to his home in the morning once the little Morty had woken up.

Carefully, so as not to wake the boy, Rick crawled in the little space beside Morty and laid down to also get some shuteye. He wrapped his arms almost possessively around the boy and hugged him to his body like a kid that was hugging its favorite stuffed toy.  
With a little sigh and inhaling the scent of Morty, which was mostly just the stench of teenage hormones and sweat, he closed his eyes and felt sleep come easily to him.  
There was only one last thought on his mind before he eventually fell asleep: Morty.

Yes, this boy – Morty – his grandson – was the sole meaning of his entire life.


	19. Chapter 19: Guard Ricks

AN: Some of the Guard Ricks used in this story were inspired by (or rather taken from) the Rick and Morty comics.

Warnings: character death and slight gore

Summary: Guard Ricks constantly put their lives in danger…even on missions that seem harmless at first glance.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 19: Guard Ricks – The dangerous life of a Guard Rick**

Cat Rick's right ear flicked in mild irritation. While his nickname didn't sound too flattering, he still preferred it over being called Furball as most Ricks liked to address him. Which was just disrespectful, but which Rick did actually respect a guard anymore?  
While it certainly felt like an honor to wear the white uniform and golden badge, it didn't impress anyone anymore – with the occasional exception of some Mortys, but those were always easily impressionable.

The name still felt kind of stupid to the feline Rick. He just happened to be from a dimension where humans had evolved into cat people.

 _"Yeah, sure. We're like Thunder Cats."_ He had replied once to a Morty's stupid question about his home dimension – whatever "Thunder Cats" actually was.

His eyes fell on the Guard Rick that sat next to him. This one was called Freckles (or Freckled Rick) because he was one of the few Ricks that – low and behold – had freckles.  
While he was a human and therefore shouldn't really have been the object of ridicule, he was likewise bullied by Rick-kind. It wasn't so bad though. They just liked to tease him by calling out how cute he was because the freckles gave him a boyish look even though he was in his seventies like most other Ricks were.

Next to Freckles sat Exo Rick. He looked like an alien with his blue skin and abnormal limbs, but he was actually a mutant. Became the victim of one of his own experiments that had gone wrong and exploded in his face.  
People would probably say, "at least he's still alive", but considering how he has been forced to live afterwards, in the sewer systems of his own dimension like the phantom of the opera before he finally migrated to the Citadel, Cat Rick thought it might have been more merciful if he had actually just died.

To the feline's right sat another Guard Rick who had no fur or freckles or any weird extensions. He was a human, but still didn't look like your run-of-the-mill Rick Sanchez. His remarkable feature was a flat top haircut, which was why they called him Flat Rick. They didn't call him Flat Top Rick because there was already another Rick before him who went by that name – one who wasn't a guard though.  
Now that this Rick over hear was bullied was entirely his own fault, Cat Rick thought. He had no one but himself (and Barber Rick who styled his hair) to blame for that bad haircut.

"I'm out." The feline finally announced and threw his cards down on the table that they were currently seated at.

Their current job was to guard a certain room inside a certain building in which something top secret was supposed to be. Needless to say, that it was a stupidly boring job, but being a Guard Rick meant that you had to "guard" even if they weren't allowed to know what it was what they were guarding.  
Government secrets or whatever, but they already worked in their job long enough to know not to ask questions when they weren't supposed to. It was none of their concern anyway.

Still, it was a boring job that they had and Cat Rick wondered if it really was necessary for four of them to guard one single small room.  
It wasn't like one of those retrieval missions where they had to pick up a dangerous Rick who was actively working against the Citadel or when the threat of Rick-technology falling into the wrong hands was involved. Though, he should probably cherish this current opportunity because there was always the risk when you were getting dispatched into another dimension that you might not return.  
Such was the dangerous life of a Guard Rick.

However, he doubted that anything could happen to them in their current job, so they had started to organize a table, four chairs and got out a deck of cards and started to play.  
They were still Ricks after all and you couldn't expect them to just stand around and do nothing when they were bored. The minimum that they should be allowed to do was pass the time somehow since they already weren't allowed to drink on the job – which was actually a violation of Rick rights!

Well, as long as their boss wouldn't find out about this then they wouldn't get into trouble.

"Read 'em weep, fellas." Exo Rick declared and showed his cards, revealing that he had a full house.

The other Guard Ricks groaned and threw their cards on the table so they could start a new round. The deck was shuffled and Cat Rick briefly checked the time to see how long they still had to sit here before their shift would be finally over.  
Exo began to deal out the cards, but just as the first touched the table there was suddenly a loud explosion and the table was blown away from the blast wave.

"Holy shit! What the fuck?!" Cat Rick screamed as he instinctively ducked down.

With wide eyes, he stared at the space where Exo Rick had just sat. Now there was only a hole and the only thing that was left was a blue limb that used to be his hand, laying a few feet away and still clutching the deck of cards.  
The explosion hit directly where his comrade had been seated and the wall was entirely ripped open. Before the smoke was even able to fully clear up, someone opened fire.

Seeing Flat Rick going down was a clear sign that the plasma bullets came flying from the outside. Freckles had luckily enough also ducked down as the feline guard had and was not hit by the deadly flying projectiles.

The next thing he knew was that hooded figures entered through the hole, coming somewhere from the roof above as they climbed down on ropes. Their stature was too short to be Ricks though, so they could only be Mortys.

Freckles wasted no time and grabbed the rifle that was strapped around his torso, firing at the figures who were entering. He managed to hit two who toppled over and fell down through the opening before his life was ended with a precise headshot.

Cat Rick, who had been usually recommended for his great reflexes, was frozen in fear. He knew that he needed to fight back – it was his job!  
However, before he could even fully think of getting up and grabbing his weapon, he came face to face with the barrel of a gun that one figure was holding to his head.

"Don't move a single muscle if you value your life, Rick scum." The hooded person, who sounded clearly like a Morty, said.

The feline obediently continued to lay still on the floor as he watched from the corner of his eyes as the other Mortys placed explosive on the door that he had guarded until previously.  
The small detonation made the door collapse out of its hinges and the figures quickly filed into the room behind it and then emerged again, carrying a heavy box with them.

They tied the box to the ropes, which weren't in fact tied to the roof but to a small hover copter. The Mortys also climbed back out and into their flying getaway vehicle and the one who had held him at gunpoint the entire time was the last one to leave. At least he had kept his word and didn't shoot him.

Cat Rick sat up and looked around in horror after they were gone and out of sight. He took in the chaos that was left behind and it fully dawned on him that he hadn't followed his duty.  
These Mortys had stolen whatever it was that they were supposed to guard.

He was still in shock as his eyes fell on his two dead comrades. There was only one thought that made it through the haze in his head now.  
This was the dangerous life of a Guard Rick…

* * *

AN: I know that this doesn't feel like a complete story, but more like the intro to a bigger story (I can actually imagine something like this being a cold opening for an official Rick and Morty episode), but since the rest wouldn't have much to do with the Guard Ricks anymore, this is all that I present to you for the challenge.


	20. Chapter 20: Guilty Rick

AN: This is also one that I had been looking forward to. I'm pretty sure everyone had at one point wondered about Guilty Rick's backstory, so that's obviously what you're getting here.  
…Still, I do feel a little as if I hadn't done this proper justice, but I hope that you'll enjoy it anyways!

Warning: gore and character death, also angst/hurt/grieving and unhealthy coping

Summary: Rick makes a mistake and his grandson has to pay for it. This is the origin story of Guilty Rick.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 20: Guilty Rick – "Grandpa Rick will fix it…"**

Rick hurried through the hallway, trying to evade the plasma bullets that kept flowing by. They were really in a huge mess!  
The worst part was that Morty wasn't even with him right now. And the boy wasn't safe at home or inside the space ship. No, of course not, because he had been taken by the enemy.

So, Rick didn't only have to save his own ass, but also his grandson from the clutches of these Ozmerians. And as anyone would be able to tell from the current situation, Rick and the Ozmerians weren't exactly on good terms right now.

"Goddammit, Morty! Where are you?!" He yelled in frustration as he checked his radar again.

It was a good thing that he had put a tracker on the boy, but considering how huge this facility was, it still wasn't easy to get to him. Though, that one was partly on Rick since he had screwed up his own plan.  
The idea was to sneak in and get Morty out without being seen, but it all had be ruined by his screwdriver, which just had to drop out of his lab coat at the most inconvenient time and set the alarm off.

Now he was being chased by Ozmerian soldiers, who were busy shooting at him with their plasma rifles while he had to navigate through the entire building in order to get to his grandson.  
Every other Rick would have probably said "Screw it!" and portaled out of this mess, deciding that his Morty wasn't worth the risk and trouble and just give up to get a new one at the Citadel's Reassignment Center. However, Rick wasn't like other Ricks.

While he always knew that there was an option to get a new Morty in case should he ever lose his own, he had long since decided that he would never ever replace him.  
This was a decision he had already made when he had laid eyes on the boy for the very first time, when Morty had been just a baby and Rick had held him in his arms, cradling the small life and rocking him gently back and forth to calm him down again.  
Other Ricks may claim otherwise, but Rick knew that his Morty was unique. No matter how you looked at it, but there was no other Morty who was like him even if they may look and may act the same. None of them would ever be his Morty.

Rick dashed into a certain room and shot the three Ozmerians inside it before quickly locking the metallic door behind him and jamming its electronic lock.  
His Morty was laying on a metal table in the middle of the room, his wrists and ankles cuffed to it.  
The scientist didn't waste any time and hurried over to him.

"R-Rick!" his grandson called out in relieve.

Rick ignored him in favor of getting him untied. While he fumbled with the metal cuffs, he quickly scanned over the boy's body, determining if he was severely injured.  
He couldn't spot any mortal wounds though, only a small amount of blood and some shallow cuts. Nothing that he couldn't fix later on. Though, the bloody instruments on the surgical tray next to the table worried him. Maybe they had used them on a previous victim and just hadn't cleaned the tools after it…

After he had the cuffs off, he quickly pulled Morty to his feet and looked around for a different exit. The loud banging that he could hear against the locked door was a clear signal that it wasn't safe to venture out there. Unfortunately, it was their only way to leave the room.

So, Rick pulled a small gadget from inside his lab coat and modified it quickly before he placed it against the door and activated it.

"Get back, Morty." Was the only warning that the scientist uttered after he also ventured to a safe distance, right before the device exploded.

The explosion surprised the enemy side and Rick used the confusion to quickly gun them down. However, they weren't save yet as more alien soldiers arrived.

Rick grabbed his grandson's wrist and began to run while dragging him behind himself. "C'mon, Morty! We gotta get out of here!"

"No, Rick! Wait a second!" Morty called out to him.

The boy had no chance to stop Rick though, since the older man was much stronger. Again, Rick ignored the brunet, too focused on getting them out of this building and into the safety of their space car.  
As they chased down a few more hallways, Morty tried to tell him something but Rick shut him down over and over again. Whatever it was that his grandson wanted to tell him could surely wait until they were somewhere save again.  
Soon he realized that they were too cornered to make it out anymore – at least not in one piece.

He grit his teeth at the thought that he would have to leave the space cruiser behind but readied his portal gun nonetheless.

"Guess, we'll have to leave the car here, Morty." He commented and shot a portal straight to their garage. "C'mon."

He still continued to pull on the boy's wrist, intent on getting them back home before the Ozmerians were too close and might follow them through the portal.

"Wait, Rick! I-I-I—!" Morty protested once more and fought back.

Rick tugged harder, ignoring the protest once more.

"We're going home now, Morty. Whatever it is you wanna say, tell me later, okay?"

"No! I can't! I will-I will—"

The boy fought back harder than ever, but Rick was having none of it. With one last hard pull, he stepped through the portal, grandson in tow.

"RICK!" Morty yelled.

There was some other noise that Rick could hear over the boy's scream though. It was a rapid beeping sound. Like that of a bomb that was about to go off.  
Rick had only a second to react before the explosive detonated. The shockwave threw him back against his workbench.

With a groan, he slumped to the ground, cursing at the excruciating pain in his back. As he opened his eyes again, this was all but forgotten though.  
The garage looked like a slaughterhouse, blood and viscera were sprinkled along the walls, ceiling and ground. Rick himself was covered in it, too.

A sudden thump made him look to the object that fell on the floor just a few feet away from. It was Morty's head. The only thing of his grandson that looked even remotely intact now.

"Morty…" he mumbled as he crawled towards the head.

While he was still in shock, his mind conveyed to him what had happened.  
The Ozmerians had planted a bomb inside his grandson's body, which would go off the moment that it was outside of the range of their signal. That was what Morty had tried to tell him. That was the reason why he didn't want to get out of the enemy's base as fast as possible and fought against being dragged through the portal.

Morty knew what would happen and he tried to tell Rick. But Rick didn't let him talk, just ignored him, figuring that it wasn't important. And now Morty was dead.

"Morty…" he repeated brokenly as he cradled his grandson's head in his arms.

Morty was dead. And it was his fault. All his fault, because he didn't listen.

'This is your fault, you idiot! You did this! You killed him!' his mind repeated over and over again as he looked down at his grandson's dead face.

"I'm so sorry, Morty." He apologized and tears welled up in his eyes.

He couldn't believe that he had messed up so much. Helplessly he continued to look into those lifeless brown eyes, which were wide open and staring right back at him as if reprimanding him for what he had done. The boy's face was still etched into the expression he wore when he yelled at Rick, – so frightened – right before the bomb had exploded.

Rick could almost imagine hearing Morty's scolding as those accusing dead eyes glared at him, gazing into his very core.

"I'm so, so sorry…" Rick knew, no matter how often he repeated the apology it wouldn't make what had happened undone.

This wasn't something that he could take back. Not something that he could simply fix like everything else that he fixed when needed.  
Even if he was a genius and could cure every illness that existed and even create entire worlds – universes even – he couldn't fix death. He couldn't bring someone who had died back to life.  
That was the only thing that was impossible for him to do…

Hours passed – it might as well have been days – in which Rick sat in the gory garage cradling his grandson's head, which had gone cold by now. Rocking it back and forth gently as if he was trying to calm the boy down.  
He kept apologizing until his voice was horse and crying until he was completely dried up. His body craved the bittersweet taste of alcohol and oblivion, but he wasn't strong enough to bring himself to even reach into the pocket of his lab coat and retrieve his trusty flask.

A sudden thought entered his mind. How was he going to explain this to Beth? To the rest of the family?  
He couldn't. Couldn't let them know. He wouldn't even know how to begin telling them.  
And he also couldn't wait for someone to eventually come into the garage and find this mess.

His first thought was to leave, but the question was where to? To the Citadel of Ricks, the place where every Rick that had to leave behind his own dimension fled to?  
On the Citadel, he could also get a new Morty, but he had already decided a long ago that he didn't want another Morty. He just wanted HIS Morty!  
But, there was no way to bring him back…or was there?

An insane idea began to develop inside his head.  
He was the smartest mammal in the universe – the smartest being in every conceivable universe – so if someone would be able to do it, it was him.  
Rick sprung to his feet and the motion was so sudden that he almost blacked out while his back also reminded him that he shouldn't have done that, but unhindered he walked in quick strides to his workbench and swept his inventions, soiled papers and pieces of guts off it.

After clearing the desk space, he gently placed Morty's head to the side and then pulled out a clean sheet of paper from one of the drawers. Hastily he began to draw out his idea, scribbling the basics of a machine and adding notes and formulas to it.  
It was insane – practically impossible – but Rick needed to try it. Even if it would be last thing in his life that he would be working on, he had to do whatever he could to make "project rebirth" a success.

After one long night of finishing his blueprints, drinking, apologizing to Morty in-between as if he was a cd whose only audio track was set on repeat and cleaning up the garage, he moved everything important that he needed to his underground lab and holed himself up there, refusing to speak to or even face anyone in his family until his work would be done.

It took time and it was expensive, forcing Rick to sell many of his inventions even to prices that were far under the value that they actually had, but he needed everything that he could get.  
He already knew before that it would cost him a lot of money. But, Rick was willing to give everything that he had if he could just get his grandson back.

So, he sat in his laboratory, cradling, which was by now, merely the skull of his beloved grandson, rocking back and forth gently to calm himself down as he watched with said eyes at the vat in which his still developing project currently slept.

"I'm so sorry, Morty, but Grandpa will fix this. You'll be fine again. Grandpa will make everything okay again…"


	21. Chapter 21: Lizard Rick and Aqua Rick

AN: This one is unimpressively short and feels a little stupid… Let's hope for better days in this challenge again.

Warnings: discrimination and insults

Summary: Lizard Rick and Aqua Rick have an argument about who of them is the superior species.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 21: Lizard Rick and Aqua Rick – Who's the superior Rick?**

Oh, this was it! The heat was on now!  
Who did that fish face think he was?! Claiming that he would be the superior one?

"What exactly is supposed to be superior about you, Mr. Gills For Lungs? If I take away that little goldfish bowl that you keep on your head, you're gonna drop dead in a second. That doesn't sound very superior to me!" Lizard Rick accused loudly, causing a few heads to turn their way.

"Oh, yeah? And what can you do? Crawl on walls on catch flies with your tongue. Sounds like some real great achievements, Frog Face." Aqua Rick mocked back.

The duo was standing in the middle of the Citadel's main atrium and arguing. Initially, they had just accidentally bumped into each other and of course, instead of just apologizing and being on their way again, they had stopped to stare at each other and then began to throw insults.  
Probably because both Ricks were looking like humanoid animals, and not like your standard human scientist. Unique ones like them liked to stick out and were proud of it, but naturally, they can't share the spotlight.

So, they acted like divas now, putting on an embarrassing show for all the Ricks and Mortys around them to see. Good thing that they didn't have their own Mortys with them today because the poor anthropomorphic boys would have been so embarrassed about their grandfathers. Then again, they might have been able to separate those two.  
As it was though, there was no one to stop them as they started to fight over who was the superior species now, even if it was completely dumb.

"Hey! Being able to climb walls like Spiderman was still considered cool the last time that I checked!" Lizard Rick countered. "Swimming doesn't sound too impressive in comparison. I mean practically everyone can. Even babies."

If Aqua Rick wouldn't be an ectotherm, the water inside his tank would have started to boil. "Oh, you say everyone can, really? Makes me wonder how well you can fight underwater. I bet you're nowhere near as fast as I am. Oh, and let's not forget that I can also breath underwater. Let's face it, in a battle between us, I would win hands down!"

"Pfft." The lizard man looked unimpressed. "Yeah, maybe if you battle it out with Mermaid Rick. However, that is exactly the point: you can only do all that _under water_! And I'm not sure how much that stupid glass bowl is messing with your vision, but we're currently standing on land. So unless we move it to the fountain and you hope that a little splashing will improve your chances, I'll be the one to hand your ass to you!"

"How you're gonna do that? By evading me while you crawl around on the ceiling like a coward?!"

The two Ricks were intensely staring at each other, ready to jump their opponent's throat when an annoyed (human) Rick suddenly butted in.

"Yo, will you keep it down! Who gives a fuck if one of you is better than the other? You're both freaks and should just keep a low profile."

The death glares of both animal-like Ricks were suddenly centered on the poor sap who had decided to get between them.

"As if you've got the right to speak, you hairless ape!" They said simultaneously.

And thus the human Rick became the new target of their argument…


	22. Chapter 22: Novelist Rick

AN: When I added Novelist Rick on the list of prompts, I already had this idea in the back of my mind, so this prompt is another one that I had been looking forward to.

Warning: a little Rick x Morty in this one, but nothing graphic.

Summary: Novelist Rick is posting his Rickfictions on the Ricknet. Suddenly, he receives a special prompt from one of his readers and fans.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 22: Novelist Rick – Writing a real Rickseller**

Ricks were whores. Some were literally ones, but all of them were without question attention whores.  
Novelist Rick was additionally to that a comment whore.  
Regularly he would post some of his works on the Ricknet and ask for feedback.

"Rick and Review" would stand always on the top _and_ on the bottom notes of his Rickfictions.

Of course, since his works were mostly read only by other Ricks, those reviews were rarely very kind. Most responses were just flames. Novelist Rick was sometimes more busy with deleting those than he invested in writing something new.  
Sometimes there was some criticism, which was slightly constructive. Novelist Rick deleted those, too.

So obviously, when he received one comment that was so vastly different from all the other ones, it stuck out almost like a sore thumb.

"10/10 would Rick again"

He blinked, just to make sure that he read that right.  
Apparently, there was someone that had liked his latest work. Not only liked it, but downright adored it.  
He had a fan!

"Cool. What part did you like?" he responded to the comment.

Unfortunately, he didn't receive a reply immediately, but he perked up as soon as he got a notification and went to check instantly.

"Was all pretty gr8 but I think I liked the action scene best. Been written very well. BTW do you take requests?" read the comment of the user sprfan72.

Novelist Rick mulled over the question for a moment. He had never done a request before, but that was mostly, because no one had ever asked.  
Didn't mean that he couldn't do it though. For his number one fan, he surely could do that.

"Sure, pm me" he replied.

Again, it took a little while before he received the private message.  
They were exchanging back and forth a few times before his fan finally spilled the details that he would have liked to see written in a story from the master author, Novelist Rick.  
After he read the details over, Rick lifted one side of his eyebrow.  
The request was… a little strange to say the least. Certainly something that he hadn't ever written about before.  
However, that didn't mean that he couldn't write it.  
Having a challenge was nice every once in a while. Keeping you on your toes and all that…

It took a few weeks – mostly writer's block and procrastinating keeping the masterpiece from getting done – but eventually, he finished it and had had beta'ed it enough himself to deem it ready to be published.  
After the upload was done, he pm'ed sprfan72 that his requested work was finally on even though he knew that the other was subscribed to him and would see the notification anyways.  
It didn't hurt to make sure that his fan didn't miss it.

While he waited for a response from the other or just for a comment on his freshly posted work, he began to read the Rickfiction over once again.  
He certainly had made sure to keep in mind every single detail of the request as he wrote it.

The story was written in first person from the view of the main character that was without a doubt a Rick – not that he ever wrote a story in which a Rick was not the main character – and he knew that his fan had requested it to be written like that because he wanted to think of himself as the one in the story.

This request had been probably the easiest and something that he had written before.  
Some of the other stuff was pretty new to him though.  
He swallowed a little as he went through the paragraphs of his own story, his heartbeat quickening a little as he started to near the climax.  
His eyes wanted to rush through all the words, but his mind wanted to slow down and savor the moment.

 _-Morty looked up at me. His big innocent eyes shimmering with unshed tears that still clung to the corners of his eyes.  
"You're the only one for me, Rick. I love you."  
His confession was the sweetest thing that I ever heard and his pink, wet lips looked so inviting. Instead of responding in words, I bent down and kissed him.-_

Novelist Rick started to blush as he continued to read through all the mush, which turned rather steamy and graphic real quick.  
His reading was interrupted as he received his first comment.  
Fortunately it wasn't just another flame that was cussing him out for the questionable content even though this time he would have probably agreed with that asshole.  
No, the comment was from his fan.

"OMG this was so hot!1! This was exactly what I had hoped for and so much more. Thanks again for writing this for me it was certainly worth the wait!"

Novelist Rick wasn't too surprised that sprfan72 loved it. Honestly, the guy would have probably liked it even if he hadn't put so much effort into writing this.  
After their brief exchange of private messages, it had become pretty obvious that the other person was none other than Super Fan Rick. Even if he hadn't noticed it before, his request would have made it more than obvious.

The prompt wasn't something that he was too fond of, really. Amongst many Ricks, this was still considered to be a taboo especially since this story was NSFW.  
Heck, this thing was a taboo considered by most earths' standards across multiple dimensions.  
But a true novelist could even write about something like this even if they didn't like it that much themselves.

The Super Fan had wanted a romance story where a Morty would fall in love with his Rick and very obviously written in first person so that the overly cute and dramatic Morty would fall in love with the Super Fan.

To Novelist Rick's big shame though, he had to admit that he tried to keep that in mind, but failed to do so in the midst of writing.  
Because as he wrote it – especially that very detailed sex scene – he had been imagining himself in the role of the main character…


	23. Alternative Chapter 23: Morty Games Rick

AN: As exciting as writing about Cowboy Rick would have been, I don't really have much experience with cowboys and westerns, so I'm using another joker again (I knew, I would need these). So, instead you're getting (a) Morty Games Rick now.

Warnings: sexual molestation, but nothing too graphic, also a little hurt/comfort

Summary: Rick M-225 is a Morty Games Rick and patrolling the Morty Games Coliseum. After overhearing a Rick complaining about his Morty taking too long on the toilet, he checks out the restrooms to make a dreadful discovery…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Alternative Chapter 23: Morty Games Rick – It's a tough job at the Morty Games**

Rick M-225 looked around the hallways of the Morty Games Coliseum for something out of place. He worked here as a so-called "Morty Games Rick" wearing the complete work attire in safety orange.  
Through his earpiece, he could hear the static voices and burps of his co-workers that stood positioned in front or inside of the coliseum as well as the ones who were patrolling around as he was just right now. They were basically managing the whole facility, ranging from cleaning it over manning the registration and the price corner to maintaining security.  
He was currently working as security.

It wasn't something that any Rick would consider a dream job. Far off actually.  
Most Ricks who didn't work here probably didn't even know what a tough job it was.  
Even if it did kind of suck, someone needed to do it and M-225 was one of the Ricks who was stuck with it.

"Back entrance *urp* clear." Rang through the communication line.

M-225 shuffled through the corridor near the entrance, his eyes systematically scanning his surroundings, moving over his identical-looking co-workers and other Ricks.  
Security in the coliseum was pretty high because Morty battles were serious business. The Mortys that they were lending out for the fights were sometimes pretty rare and the only ones that were even rarer than that were the ones that you could win as prices. So, needless to say that some Morty collectors would have an eye on them and after the big robbing of the Morty Day Care once with every single Morty being stolen, they would not repeat the same mistake and slack off about the security measures.

There had also been rumors that some suspicious subject had sneaked into the facility. Though, technically that could apply to anyone since Ricks weren't exactly inconspicuous. However, it could also just be a slightly weird-looking alien that felt out of place. Ever since Pocket Mortys had become a thing, the Citadel was swarming with space tourists.

'Well, good for the economy or something…' Rick M-225 figured.

His steps were almost noiseless as he continued to walk over the red carpet that was laid out and passed by the front entrance. With his eyes and ears strained, being high on alert as was expected of him, he easily overheard two Ricks on the side talking with each other.

"My Morty's been in the restroom forever." A Rick with a flat top haircut complained to his other dimensional look-a-like.

His trained professionalism kept M-225's face from twitching – or maybe it was just the fact that he was a callous asshole like every other Rick – but this comment struck him as odd.  
Continuing with his round, he decided to follow that foreboding sense of wrongness and made his way towards the restroom for the Mortys.

Not to seem like a creeper, he quickly checked inside the room by opening the door and peering in. To his surprise, the bathroom was completely empty though.  
With confusion etched on his face, he actually stepped inside now and gave the room a once over.  
It seemed indeed empty as no Morty was standing at the urinals or the sinks. The only thing that he was able to spot was a lone, yellow t-shirt laying on the floor at the far end of the room.

M-225's eyes drifted up towards a window that was slightly opened. Had the Morty ran away from his Rick, escaping through this window?  
It seemed unlikely that he fit through or could even get up that high, but then again he had no idea what kind of Morty the boy actually was.  
Giving up, the Morty Games Rick was just about to leave to do his duty in the front hall again when he suddenly caught some weird noises coming from one of the stalls.

He slowly ventured closer towards the suspicious sounds and asked, "Hey! Everything okay in there?"

Instead of a verbal answer, only more rustling and shuffling noises reached his ear.  
Something was off here…

"I'm good, but thanks for asking." Came suddenly an answer.

Rick's brow furled. That voice didn't really sound like that of a Morty, but rather like someone trying to imitate one. He was around Mortys often enough to tell the difference and that annoying, squeaking voice of the pubescent, fourteen-year-old teens was unmistakable.

"You sure?" He asked once more as he moved even closer to the closed stall, leaning in a little to listen through the door for more of those weird noises.

He was pretty darn convinced that he could hear some muffled squeaking in there.

Again, the fake Morty replied, "No, really. Everything is fine. Could you please leave now so that I can finish my business in peace?"

Leaving and letting that guy finish whatever "business" he was doing in there was the last thing on M-225's mind. It was more than obvious that something was totally not okay here.

"Please come out of the stall right now." His voice didn't match the politeness of his words since he was just following work protocol.

"I-I'm busy here. I mean, geez, I'm on the toilet. Would you please just leave me alone already?"

That was the last straw. Being through with pleasantries and sticking to the protocol, M-225 kicked open the door.  
Inside the stall was a grey bean-shaped creature that was clad in all sorts of Morty merchandise holding a Morty inside his grasp. The poor boy was shirtless and his pants were pulled down and pooling around his feet but thankfully his underwear was still on.  
One of the jellybean creature's hands was clamped over the brunet's mouth while the other held both boy's wrist, immobilizing his current victim.

All that M-225 could see in this moment though were the Morty's eyes, which were wet with tears and so desperate, silently begging him for help.  
Before, he could react in any way the jellybean pushed him aside and bolted.

"We have a molester at the Morty restrooms escaping towards front entrance!" he yelled into his comm as he hurried behind the retreating culprit.

The child molester's attempted escape was short-lived as M-225 saw him getting tackled from two of his co-workers just a few steps outside of the restroom.  
Morty Games Ricks were always working quick and efficiently.

"Morty molester caught in front hall." Resounded the static voice of one of the Ricks at the scene through his earpiece.

With the adrenaline slowly ebbing away again, M-225 turned back towards the Morty who was still standing inside the stall.  
The boy still stood with his pants around his ankles and was sobbing into his hands.

"H-hey? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He asked even though the brunet was obviously not okay.

He went back over to the crying Morty and wasn't exactly sure what to do in this situation. However, the sad sight of the weeping boy was pulling at his heartstrings even though M-225 had been convinced that he didn't have a heart anymore.  
Carefully, he placed a hand on the brunet's shoulder and was caught completely off guard as the boy reacted by flinging himself at him and clingy tightly to his torso.

"Ssh, ssh. It's okay. It's going to be fine." He tried to calm the Morty down with his words and some gentle rubbing on his back.

There wasn't really a procedure for how to deal with distressed Mortys like this, but whatever kind of grandfatherly instincts were still inside of him were thankfully taking over.  
After consoling the boy enough that he calmed down again, M-225 bent down to pull his pants back up again, plucked his shirt off the floor and helped him put it on before he steered the brunet outside of the restroom to return him to his Rick.

As short as he could, he explained to Flat Top Rick what had happened and reprimanded him to keep an eye on his Mortys at all times. The entire personal was stressing this for a reason. Morty Inc. was not be made responsible if something happened to a Morty on these grounds even if all the Morty Games Ricks did their best to keep trouble at bay.

Rick M-225 watched the duo leave and sighed.

Working at Morty Games was a tough job.

* * *

AN: So, I've learned that in an older version of Pocket Mortys there was a Mr. Jellybean in the Mortys restroom. That combined with Careless Rick not having seen his Morty for a while after he went to use the toilet inspired this idea…


	24. Chapter 24: Zero Rick

AN: Someone remind me to never do something like this again. This was a bad idea. A very bad idea…

Warning: So, this is totally like a super long rant from a like super old dude, who's really just like a character in an overhyped videogame. And, oh yeah, complete absence of a fourth wall…

Summary: Zero Rick is having an existential crisis over the fact that he's merely a character inside of a videogame…and so he rages on about it.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 24: Zero Rick – One of the Ricks who really didn't want this**

"D-did you know?" Zero Rick is staring right at the reader of this text. "Oh, I'm sure that you know that you're currently reading a fanfiction. I mean, you've got to be a real retard to not notice _that_. But that's not what I mean."

He begins to pace back and forth.

"No no no. What I mean is, do you know who I am? Or rather what I am?" Zero keeps pointing at himself, then stares down at his arm as if he has to check that it's really there.

"I-I-I'm just a character inside a videogame! And not a very original one either! It-it's some lame Pokémon rip-off that they call Pocket Mortys. _That's so original!_ I mean, the creators didn't even try to hide that fact. Just riding on the popularity of a longstanding videogame series and-and thinking if they just replace all the elements with Ricks and Mortys, it's going to be an instant hit!"

He looks up into the sky, pulling on his grey-blue locks in frustration.

"But that's not even the worst part about it! It's just a really bad rip-off. I mean, take me for example." Again, he faces the reader and points at himself. "I'm nothing more than a bunch of sprites. And-and not even that many sprites. I just have one big portrait sprite and four animated walking sprites. And those are not even correct since the side view one is mirrored, which makes it look like my bang here is wandering from in front of one eye to the other. Or-or like I actually have two of them and they cover both of my eyes. According to those incorrect sprites, I would not be able to see where I'm even going! It just makes no fucking sense!"

He picks at the bang that hangs in front of his right eye, pulling on it as if it was to blame for his current predicament.

"The thing I just want to say is that I don't want this! Not-not the bang thing – well, that, too. But, what I actually mean is that I don't want to be a character inside a crappy videogame. I-I-I don't want to run around and act out whatever the player wants me to do. That's just cruel. There's no free will, no control over your own actions!" Zero Rick makes a dramatic pause. "But, actually, I don't even have that since I'm not even the main character. I'm just an NPC who has like three different lines of dialogue and otherwise just runs aimlessly around on the map. Just walking one pace back, then forth again, then slowly moving two times to the right, as if I have no goal—no place to be at. Just wandering around as if I don't have anything better to do. Like a complete moron!"

He takes a deep breath.

"I mean that's just so disgracing. Just lowering me to be no more than a lame NPC. The only lines of texts that I have is _"This place reminds me why I hate going outside. But, if I stay in, I have to put up with my family. I can't win."_ , _"I don't even care if I win or lose. Nothing matters anyway, the world will go on without us."_ , _"I guess we could battle, but it's not like it will change anything, Rick. Our existence means very little and this battle will most likely get lost in history."_ and _"You won. It's a shame no one else cares."_. So they give me, the name Zero Rick and this emo-flap and expect the players to get the idea. As if something like that would be enough to determine my personality. This! This! This!" He begins pointing to his hair, his face, his sweater with each word. "This tells nothing. I mean the name "Zero" is actually quite cool. You know, like this one guy from the Mega Man X videogames, but coupling it with this look makes it look stupid again."

He sighs.

"No one can expect any of you to get who I am or what kind of personality I have just from the little that is given about me. But yet, some-some of you fans—or-or whatever you wanna call yourself go and draw fanart of me. Like that-that one creepy little Morty…"

He looks pointedly at the reader.

"Oh, you-you know which one I mean! Some of you guys are such cree-creeps-creepers! _Shipping_ me—or whatever you call it in your weird fan-lingo—with that little weirdo. Super Rick Fan Morty."

He shudders at the thought of the aforementioned Morty.

"I-I mean what's the deal with him? What's the deal with this brainwashed turd? And why me?!" He stares accusingly at the reader as if this was somehow your fault. "You should pair him up with his actual Rick, not me! What-what even makes you think that I would want anything to do with that psycho?!"

Zero Rick paces back and forth again, taking deep breathes as he tries to calm down again.

"I-I just don't ever wanna see fanart of that again, okay?"

He seems to have calmed down a little again and stops, looking back at the reader.

"But, I guess otherwise it's cool. I mean you guys drawing me or-or writing your silly little fanfictions about me. Even if you're portraying me all wrong. But yeah, like I said, that's not even your fault…" He begins to mumble underneath his breath. "I-I-I just don't get the proper recognition I deserve…just a lame, unremarkable NPC…"

He starts talking in a clearly hearable volume again. "I mean, okay. I actually _do_ have remarkable features—"

Again he pulls at his bang and points at his striped sweater, not even bothering to mention at the heavy eyeshadow on his face.

"It could be worse. I could look like a generic Rick that is only differentiable by a small adjective in front of his name at the top if the dialogue box. Like " _Grateful_ " Rick or " _Careless_ " Rick or something like that. These poor bastards are even less memorable. I bet you don't draw fanart of them or write them into your fanfictions. I-I mean, where's the Ricktober Challenge prompt for these guys? Huh?"

Zero Rick looks a little frustrated for a moment.

"But yeah, I'm still just a NPC. Though, I guess they did at least bother to put my design as a costume—you-you know as a custom sprite, so that players can pretend that they play as me. Like-like they also did with Miami Rick for example. That guy is also only a poor bastard and yet he still has it better than me."

He pauses briefly, looking like he was lost in thought. Probably thinking about Miami Rick right now. Thinking about the other hanging most likely out at some white-sanded beach right now, as his name and design would let you imagine.

Zero Rick shakes his head, coming back to reality again.

"At any rate, what I just meant to say is that I don't want to be stuck as a character inside a videogame. Especially, not one that is as crappy and unoriginal as " _Pocket Mortys_ ". Why can't they just—"

"Dad? Dinner is ready." Beth's voice enters through the door that connects Zero Rick's garage from the kitchen of the Smith Family house.

He looks irritated for a moment for having been ripped out of his monologue.

"Yeah…I'm there in a minute, sweetie!" He calls back.

Zero Rick turns his attention back towards the reader, taking at least three tries at wording something before he gives up on trying to pick up the thread that he lost.

"I'm not done yet."

He leaves the non-existent conversation in the open air as he leaves to eat dinner with the rest of his family.

Not like it matters anyway. Your existence means nothing and nothing in this universe matters.  
…at least that's Zero Rick's motto…

* * *

AN:

Zero: "And by the way, I did not want to be in this weird fanfiction. I-I mean what's a _Ricktober Challenge_ supposed to be anyways? It sounds super lame."

No one cares about your opinion on this, Zero.

Zero: "No, seriously. I don't want you weird cat lady person to write me into your weird stories! What even is this? It has no real plot or anything. This-this-this is just—it's nothing!"

I know, but I just wanted to write something that I was sure no one else would write, so just shut up about it now! Sorry for trying to be different!  
Just leave it up to the readers to flame me about this.

Zero: "Hey, readers! Go and boo her out, so she won't ever write crap like this again! Someone needs to tell her to stop!"


	25. Chapter 25: Teacher Rick

AN: This one was fun to write. And first time writing about Morticia! (I don't know why I've always been avoiding her since I actually do like her as a character)

Warnings: Teacher Rick / Morticia, some pining and denial

Summary: Teacher Rick has a dilemma with one of his students who has a crush on him…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 25: Teacher Rick – They're still a Rick Teacher and a Morty Student…that's all they are**

Teacher Rick patrolled the halls of the dorm that was connected to Morty Academy. It was already past curfew, all the lights were out and thankfully, everything was as silent as should be.  
Of course, he could care less if the little turds were really sleeping or hiding under their covers with their smartphones, reading comic books or porn mags or whatever else.

He halted on his round as his eyes landed on a specific door. Usually, there were two bunkbeds in all the rooms, so that four Mortys needed to share one sleeping quarter, but he knew that solely one person occupied this one…

With a shake of his head, he tried not to think about them and continued checking the halls. However, his thoughts drifted unwillingly back towards the occupant of that one room.  
There was a reason why that person wasn't forced to share a room with other Mortys. It was because they weren't a Morty – well, in a way they were, but just not like the other Mortys. This one was a Morticia.

Teacher Rick had been really surprised when the new school year had started and he found that a female Morty had enrolled at the academy this time.  
Morticias were still a rarity and you could hardly find any of them on the Citadel, so seeing one in person was a first time for the scientist turned teacher.

With shame, he had to admit that at the first rollcall, his eyes had lingered on her. She stuck out like a sore thumb though with her long and wavy brown hair and that red headband, he told himself. The only thing that would have made it worse would have been if they had given her a different school uniform that consisted of a skirt instead of pants. However, since female Mortys were so rare, none of the school staff would have probably even bothered to think about getting an alternate uniform.

Teacher Rick finally finished his round and retired to his own quarters. With a sigh, he sat down in a chair at his desk and plucked his hipflask from the inside of his black robe to take a sip.  
Then his eyes fell on the stacks of papers that he still needed to correct.  
While he wasn't really in the mood for it at this late hour, he thought 'When am I ever in the mood?' and right now he would take any distraction that he could get to just forget.

However, he couldn't just get this out of his head. No matter how much alcohol he downed and how often he told himself not to think about it, his thoughts would always drift back to her.  
Even now, as he had tied his long hair back in a loose ponytail and scribbled with a red pen over the chicken scratches of his incompetent students, his mind was back on sweet, sweet Morticia. Or rather, the event that involved her.

Of course, he knew that it was wrong. They were student and teacher and technically also grandfather and granddaughter, but she was the one who had started it. She was the one who…

With a loud groan, he threw his correction pen down and grabbed once more for the flask to drown it of its contents. Rick didn't want to admit that he was partly to blame for what had happened, too. This wasn't on him, this was totally on her!

Morticia was the one who had started it, after all.  
Sure, during lessons, his eyes often wandered to her and stayed, but he didn't harbor any weird thoughts or feelings for her. She just stuck out between all the Mortys – all the boys who looked and were practically the same. That was all!

However, she was the one who reacted to it. She was the one who caught him staring and at first, nothing happened. His stare was only met with a face of confusion and he quickly averted his eyes, always feeling slightly embarrassed at having been caught by her.

It changed though.  
After a while, when she caught him again, instead of that questioning gaze there would be a blush on her face and she was the one to look away first. He thought that it was weird the first few times that it happened, but then realized that she was probably having a crush on him.

Was it even possible for a kid her age to have a crush on her grandfather and teacher who was so much older?  
Apparently it was.

Even though this should have been a warning for him to cut it out, - whatever it was that he was doing – to not encourage her, he couldn't stop himself. His eyes just always fell on the cute, shy girl. She was pretty, how could he not look at her? Even if it meant nothing to him. He wasn't trying to be a weirdo about it.  
And whenever she would notice, she would actually smile back. The blush was still there, but was accented by this really bright smile and it made Teacher Rick feel bad.

Still, there was no harm. They didn't talk with each other past what was considered educational content. She didn't stay behind after class, waited for him in the hallways, or approached him outside of school. Nothing was wrong. No damage done. Everything was okay.

But again, it didn't stay that way…  
With a curse, he threw his empty flask across his small room and got up from his chair. He stalked over to a cabinet where he kept his stash of alcohol and pulled a long, dark-brown bottle from the shelf, then uncorked it and empty it by almost a quarter in one go.  
On slightly swaying legs, he found the way back to his desk, placed the bottle on a free spot next to the uncorrected papers and resumed his task.

Though, his focus didn't last long on the wrong answers – some of which made his eyes roll at their ridiculousness – and his brain was straight back to the event that he wanted to forget so badly. The one moment that made him want to act as if it had never happened to begin with.

It was that one afternoon. A very ordinary afternoon, really, so he hadn't expected anything – and especially not **that** – to happen.  
Classes were over for the day and he had just finished packing his stuff. The classroom was unsurprisingly already empty since the Mortys always hurried to get out after the school day was over.  
Like always, he left the classroom and locked it after himself. In one hand, he held one of his textbooks and a stack of uncorrected tests and with the other, he pocketed the heavy key bundle inside his robes.

As he turned around to be on his way to his own dormitory, he halted abruptly. Because she was standing there, leaning slightly against the row of lockers and looking at him as if she had been waiting for him.

Teacher Rick forced himself to get his body back in motion and put on a mask of indifference even though he was sure that she had already seen the surprise on his face. He walked firmly and almost passed her as if he hadn't noticed her presence.  
However, he stopped again and addressed her.

"What are you still doing here? Classes are already over."

He mentally congratulated himself that he managed to keep his voice steady – not that there was any reason for his voice not to be steady.

Morticia didn't give him an answer to his question though. She looked with big, fawn-colored eyes at him and gnawed on her lower lip, looking nervous or at least undecided.  
Instead of asking again, Rick lifted one side of his eyebrow in a questioning manner, hoping that she would give him an answer soon. Or, just scramble. Either would be fine with him at this point.

She did none of these things.  
What she did was suddenly wrap her arms around his neck and pushing her lips against his.

Teacher Rick's eyes widened in shock and the papers and book he had been holding onto fell to the ground, the white sheets scattering around them.  
Her lips felt so soft…

The moment didn't last long and as quickly as she had latched onto him, she let go again. Her entire head was glowing red like a cherry and she mumbled out a hasty excuse before she bolted.  
Rick was left behind dumbfounded with the mess on the floor and a mess inside his head.

The teacher put his pen aside again and groaned loudly while rubbing with both hands over his face.  
Ever since then the emotions that he swore didn't exist were all jumbled now. He couldn't stop thinking about the kiss.  
However, what was worst of all was that he was hoping it would happen again.

Yet, he knew that they couldn't. He didn't want to be a pervert – one of those Ricks.  
And he also couldn't forget who and what they were.  
He was her teacher and she was his student. And that was it! That was all it was…all they were…all they ever would be…


	26. Chapter 26: Bubblegum Rick

AN: This Rick is probably the heaviest Pokémon reference that you're getting in the game, so don't be surprised where this story is going.

Warnings: spoilers for the Pocket Mortys comic ("Pocket Like You Stole It")

Summary: Bubblegum Rick wants to be the very best there ever was.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 26: Bubblegum Rick – The very Rickest there ever was!**

"I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick some ass." Rick coolly declared and then blew a bubble with the pink gum in his mouth. "And as you can see, I'm already doing the bubblegum part."

He grinned confidently before he began to point with his finger at his opponent's Morty. "Psychokinetic Morty, use Mind Meld!"

The little brunet with the charged hair that stood in front of him followed his order the second that it was out of Rick's mouth and the poor Big Tongue Morty of the enemy stood no chance against him.  
Bubblegum Rick's grin only broadened. He had really strong Mortys, but that should be no surprise after all the effort to catch the best ones and the hard training that he had put them through.

In all truth, Bubblegum Rick had been a nobody not too long ago. He was kind of like that nerdy kid in school that was an outcast.  
Though not a child anymore, he did love to collect trading cards, playing videogames and watching anime – having usually a TV on when he was busy working in his garage on a new invention.

As such, he was the cool one in a bunch of nerds and collectors, but aside from that, he had nothing but his youthful confidence and the habit of chewing gum that he had never managed to grow out of since his teenage years.

However, "Pocket Mortys" had been his moment to shine. He had finally seen his chance in this rip-off of his favorite videogame series including the catching, training and fighting of all the interdimensional versions of his grandson Morty.  
Thus, he had found a new goal in his life: he wanted to be the very best! Like no Rick ever was!

As such, he had gotten himself a nerdy baseball cap, threw on his stylish lab coat, and began his interdimensional journey to catch Mortys. Luckily, for him, he had advantage over a lot of other Ricks (and also alien trainers) because years of videogames and anime watching gave him tons of experience.  
And thus, it was also probably no surprise that he had become one of the strongest Ricks there were – and also pretty popular, too.

"Use _Let It Go_ , Frozen Morty!" He ordered another one of his Mortys.

With the icicle Morty singing and freezing his opponent into the ground, the battle was as good as won already. However, the other Rick looked like he was a novice so that victory wouldn't even feel as glorious as it should be.  
Still, a win was a win and he wouldn't look down on it.

This newfound mission was such an exciting adventure for Bubblegum Rick.  
At first, he couldn't have even imagined how many different kind of Mortys there were. Ranging from all sort of aliens to crossbreeds with animals and also mutated Mortys, they provided such a colorful and astounding variety that he was tempted to catch every last one of them.  
Of course, that would have made him not much different from other collector Ricks like Super Fan Rick or Mysterious Rick, but he didn't really care much about that.

If he had actually such a thing like a conscience – though there were barely Ricks in existence who had something like that – he might had thought that what he was doing was wrong though. Like every Rick, he also knew about the dark past when Pocket Ricks had been a thing. When Ricks were the ones hunted down and forced to battle each other.

Doing the same thing to their grandsons was probably cruel. However, the only thing that Ricks would have been ever worried about would be a repeat of history with the Mortys fighting back against their trainers.  
Good thing that they were geniuses and created a failsafe to keep that from happening though. As such Bubblegum Rick could continue travelling around and catching as many Mortys as he was able to store.

Bubblegum Rick's Car Morty gave his opponent the rest.  
He stepped up and stretched his back as far as he could to tower over the loser that was the same height as him.

"C'mon, hand over your badge!" He said cockily and held out his hand.

Grumbling, the other Rick pulled a badge with a big star on it out of his lab coat and gave it to him.

"Here, you annoying chew-smacking nerd!" He said bitterly.

Looked like Novice Rick wasn't a good loser, but Bubblegum Rick could care less about that. He didn't even care that his habit of chewing gum or his status as a nerd had been ridiculed once more.

Gleefully he looked at his price, the loser Rick already forgotten. This was his 97th badge! Three more and he would have reached 100.  
To him these trophies of his victory were like an indication of his power and he loved to show them off as much and as often as he could.

He hefted the round badge on his lab coat that was already clustered with the 96 other badges.

Oh yeah, he would show them all! He would be the very best there ever was indeed!

"Pop"


	27. Chapter 27: Robot Rick

AN: This is a short one again…sorry -_-

Warnings: none

Summary: Robot Morty finds it weird that Robot Rick acts so much like a human and questions him about it…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 27: Robot Rick – Rickish Behavior**

Rick marched over the dusty ground of the alien planet, his Morty right at his side. His heavy metallic feet made audible sounds as he literally stomped over the green sand. The red glowing dots that could be called his eyes, but were more correctly his optical sensors swished occasionally from side to side to make sure that they wouldn't be surprise-attacked by the wild life. However, so far they had been in luck and not met anything that could be considered dangerous to them.

Seeing as they were in the clear, he grabbed inside his lab coat and pulled out a hip flask. He brought it to what the robot equivalent of a mouth was and gulped some of the liquid down.

"Why are you always doing that, Rick?" Morty broke the comfortable silence as he had eyed his robotic grandfather's actions.

"Why do I do what, Mo*oouurgh*ty." Robot Rick belched back.

"That! And drinking that stuff from your flask." If it would be physically possible for him, he would have probably crinkled his nose now. "I mean, it's not motor oil or any fuel. You said yourself that it's alcohol. Why do you even need to drink that?"

"Morty, you idiot. I told you that this is alcohol-based fuel. It's subjective to say if it's better than fossil-based fuel or mineral oil. Anyways, I have an entirely good reason for drinking it."

Robot Morty stared expectantly at him, clearly interested in hearing what that reasoning was.

So, he continued, "You see, I need to drink alcohol in order to convert it into an electrical power source that I need to operate myself and a bunch my inventions. Aside from that, I need it to stay functional…"

"I don't get it." Morty threw in.

"I don't expect you to."

"So what about the belching." The brunet robot prodded further.

"Gas."

"And—"

"What is this now, Morty? Twenty questions?" Rick seemed pissed off now. "You-you-you wanna complain that this behavior seems too human? Then just take a look at yourself! Why're you wearing a shirt, huh Morty? I have at least an excuse for my lab coat! It's called _practicality_!"

"Geez, just because I'm a robot doesn't mean that I want to run around naked. Tha-that would be pretty indecent, Rick." Morty defended himself.

Rick made a sound that sounded like snorting. "See, Morty? You question when grandpa's acting too much like a human, but you care about decency when you really shouldn't as an unfeeling machine. Next thing you start questioning when I flirt with woman again as if you yourself wouldn't always turn your head at every female that we ran across…"

As if to emphasize his point, he took a hefty sip from his flask again.

"Sorry, for asking, Rick." His grandson looked at the ground and sounded reprimanded.

"Yeah, save me your idiotic questions next time."

What did it matter whether he was a human or a robot?  
The only thing that counted was that he was a RICK.

* * *

AN: By the way, is anyone else here thinking that Robot Rick would probably be exactly like Bender from Futurama? I can also totally see them as drinking buddies.


	28. Alternate Chapter 28: Jar Head Rick

AN: Since Dirty Rick is also at the top of my least favorite Ricks (yeah, sorry, but what can I do?), I'm using my last joker on this one and picked the (in my opinion) most intriguing Rick of Pocket Mortys: Jar Head Rick. He's certainly the one who most surprised me when he was introduced and I'm sure everyone had been wondering about his backstory. So let's tackle this!  
…I think it should be fine that I'm using a joker. I mean, I live in Germany and over here a week starts on Monday, but to my knowledge it starts with Sunday in the US so I'm technically not really breaking my own rules, just bending them really far (as I always do).

Warnings: gore (I tried to keep it medical and not too graphic)

Summary: The back story of how Rick R-56T became Jar Head Rick.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Alternate Chapter 28: Jar Head Rick – A rickdiculously brilliant solution**

This was just plain brilliant! Rick had to congratulate himself on this solution. He was truly a genius.  
Okay, so maybe his current situation wasn't perfect, but given the circumstances, he was doing great! He had a young body – though, not his own, but he was in control of it – so what more could he want?

A part of him should probably feel bad though, but conscience had always been a thing that Rick easily ignored even if it regarded his grandson. The very same grandson that he was now sharing a mind and body with.  
Of course, the stares that he was receiving from other Ricks as he strolled through the Citadel were rather annoying, but he was alive and that was all that mattered to him right now.

He still couldn't believe that this had actually worked. It had been just considered as an emergency backup plan and he was glad that he made it.  
After learning about a row of freak accidents that kept reoccurring throughout his dimension range, which always ended in him and his Morty dying all the time (or at least leaving a very damaged grandson behind), he decided to be one step ahead and prepared for this causality. That were probably the perks of being so far behind in the line as Rick R-56T. Sucked for the Ricks R-56A till R-56S though.

Learning from the mistakes of his alternate selves, he had created a system inside his garage that would activate as soon as his vitals would reach critical mass.  
Such was the case one day when one of his inventions went haywire.

He had actually wanted to build a machine with which he would have made a serum that was supposed to keep him young and alive forever. After project Phoenix – the half-baked idea with the clones – being such a failure, he had decided to approach the subject from an entirely different angle now.  
So, it was probably ironic that this very invention was the one that would cost him his life – in the very same way that it got the other R-56 Ricks to boot.

The whole thing had started with the mechanical arms that the gadget was equipped with moving around completely out of control. It had smacked his Morty with such a force that the boy flew through the entire garage and crashed in the shelf.  
Rick had tried to get the machine under control again, but it quickly over heated and the next thing he knew, the thing exploded.

He could still remember the heat and yet his body had felt numb after he realized that he laid on the ground and faced the flickering neon lights that hung from the ceiling. Movement was almost impossible and the only thing that he had managed was to lift his head and saw that torso was ripped open in the front. And that was pretty much the last thing that he had seen before he passed out.

It must have been around this moment that his backup had started to activate and proceeded with its programming to save him. While Rick hadn't been conscious for the entire process – which was probably better anyway – he knew at least the gist of what the protocol had prompted his special invention to do.

The floor of garage, which was really an elevator platform at this point, moved them down to his underground lab were mechanical arms and scanners began to fulfill their purpose and worked quickly to save Rick's rapidly slipping life.  
The first step was for the automated backup machine to remove and preserve his head. So, a fine laser cut through his neck and his skull was dumped in a glass jar that had preservation fluids inside it.  
Practically at the same time, the machine must have started to work on his grandson whose body was deemed okay enough to be used as a substitute.

Unfortunately, Morty had been pierced by several pieces of scrap metal from the previous explosion, but he was still alive. The damage caused to his body resulted in him needing some organ transplants though and thankfully, the medical scanners had been checking for this, too.  
The mechanical arms of the machine then began to proceed with removing the damaged organs from the boy and replacing them with the still somewhat intact ones from Rick's fresh corpse. Good thing that the two were compatible.

So, the boy got a new kidney, stomach and a (not really shiny new) liver.  
Granted not all of the organs had been in a too great shape either, but there was also some artificial backup in mechanical form for this, which still work fine even up to today – so yeah, for no failing organs!

After making sure that Morty's body would survive, the next crucial step was to actually connect the two together. For that, the boy's skull had to be opened and to ensure that there would be enough space for Rick's head, some of the brain had to be removed.

Of course, Rick had programmed everything so that the most important stuff was still left in there. However, the boy was as dumb as a rock now, but he had never been all that bright to begin with and since Rick was doing the thinking for both of them now, it didn't really matter.  
His Morty's incompetence didn't bother him anymore as it used to do in the past and would therefore not upset or enrage him anymore now. Actually, it was quite fine like this because Morty wasn't talking back to him anymore.

He knew that the machine had then connected his preserved head including the glass jar and preservation liquid on top of Morty's head and connected their brains together so that Rick would be able to control all of Morty's motoric functions. It was via some special wiring system that looked like a few simple cables, but was far more complicated and intricate than that. Technically, he had rebuilt a fully functioning nervous system – just an artificial and very small one because there wasn't that much distance between their brains now.

By the time that he was conscious again, everything was already done and over with and he had tested out and noticed that he could indeed move freely around in Morty's body as if it was his own. Well maybe not that freely in the beginning because of the damage that his grandson's body had sustained, but the fact remained that his whole backup plan had been a complete success!

The only thing that had bothered Rick at first was the whole thought communication thing, but after having found out how he could block off Morty's gibberish thoughts, everything worked great. Needless to say that the rest of the family hadn't been too happy about this turn of events.  
So, in order to avoid all of those arguments, he had decided to settle over to the Citadel where at least no one would give him shit for _doing something this horrible to his own grandson_. The only thing bothering him were the stupid stares though because some Ricks couldn't believe that he was actually using his Morty's body to keep himself alive.

Now that Rick thought about it, this method could technically work with anyone else – as long as they were compatible to Rick. Morty just had the added effect of camouflaging his brainwaves, but technically every compatible body could be used to sustain his own life.  
So, in his failure to find a way to prolong his own life, he actually found a way how to do it. Maybe it wasn't completely flawless, but no one could deny that it did work.

This really seemed like a solid all around solution and maybe he should patent it so he could get filthy rich on top of it all.

* * *

AN: I admit that this isn't really my head canon about his background story, but I thought this sounded more exciting than just a Rick head inside a jar (you know, like the ones in Futurama) ordering his assistant "Igor" Morty around until he could complete his plan and attach himself to the boy's body so he could move around freely again – I shall leave it to someone else to write that scenario (or I'll write it myself once I had more time to actually think about it and figured out how to make that read-worthy) :)


	29. Chapter 29: Toxic Rick

AN: I'm not sure if this is already considered Rick/Morty or still passes off as platonic, but I guess I'll leave that up to you readers. At any rate, this feels very canon for me.

Warnings: angst-y, insults, could be read as Rick/Morty, also some fluff

Summary: Toxic Rick may act like an ass towards his grandson, but he actually cares about him. He just has his very own way of showing it.

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 29: Toxic Rick – Toxic Thoughts, Rickish Heart**

The toxic wasteland was dirty and stinking, but so were he and his Morty. With the determination of a madman, Toxic Rick worked on getting them out of this dirt hole as soon as possible.  
He really didn't want to spend any more time in here than necessary, regardless of whether he rightfully belonged in this place in accordance to some higher order. He never gave any fucks about guidelines anyways and if a balance was needed and someone had to be stuck in this tank, then his goody-two-shoes version could do it. Let's see how he would like that.

As he was busy standing over the self-made cauldron and discovering new chemical elements each passing hour, writing down his very own version of a periodic table, he took a short break to glance over to his grandson.  
The boy had gotten incredibly quiet since Rick had started his feverish research and right now, he sat pathetically in the corner and formed vases out of the toxic mud, just as Rick had ordered him to do a while ago, so that he would have containers to use for his experimenting.  
By now it were far more than Rick really needed, but he was probably continuing to do it in the need to stay useful to his grandfather. Maybe the little turd thought that Rick would throw him back out there where the toxic monsters were if he stopped being useful.

The thought made the scientist mentally scoff. As annoying as the little shit was, he knew that he would never let him leave his side. Which didn't mean that he would let Morty know that.

"Hey, you little shit! W-what the fuck are you doing over there?" he broke the silence.

Morty looked up, but avoided looking him straight in the eyes, probably afraid that he would anger his grandfather with that action.

"I-I-I'm making a vase. You-you've told me to make some more for you…"

"That doesn't look like a vase. It's shit!"

Honestly, it wasn't. It looked like a very decent vase, – Morty had some surprising skills when it came to crafting actually – but he needed to unleash his self-hatred somewhere and what better way to do it by projecting it on his insecure sidekick.

"Oh, y-yeah. I guess you're right, Rick. It is shit." The slimy boy agreed too easily.

Rick didn't feel any better. The urge to throw more insults at the kid grew because he looked so goddamn pathetic and didn't even bother to fight back. This angered him because he didn't want Morty to be such a shy little weakling.  
Why did he always bother taking him on all these adventures and showing him all those things if he didn't learn something and grew up from these experiences?

…well, there was the thing that he needed the boy's brainwaves to stay undetected from his many enemies. Then again, he didn't really need a shield. Honestly, he had been doing fine for the past 50 years on his own even if he grew old and tired of the constant conflicts.  
And since he was on being truthful, he had also started to become lonely, which was the actual reason why he was refusing to let Morty leave his side. The boy was his inspiration, but also his motivation to keep going no matter what.

Whenever he was around Morty, he felt a certain calm that prevented him from going into a panic or blind rage and always enabled him to stay rational. If he couldn't really bring it up anymore to survive for his own sake, he could at least fight to keep Morty safe and alive and in order to do that, he needed to stay alive as well to get them both out of any mess that they stumbled into.

Of course, if anyone asked why he always hung out with Morty, he could always say that he'd chosen to pass his legacy onto his grandson. That sounded believable and no one would question it…

* * *

Inside the tank, it was hard to tell the time since there was no such thing as day and night with the lack of a sun. It was only when Rick felt immense tiredness and exhaustion pushing down on his aching body that he decided that it was time for him to take a rest.

As he glanced over to see how Morty was faring, he saw that the boy was already curled up on the ground in the little corner of their hideout that he had started to inhabit and was fast asleep.

"Hey, Morty! Get up!" He roughly woke the sleeping brunet and jabbed none too gently with his shoe in the boy's side.

Morty groaned weakly and opened his bleary eyes.

"What is it, Rick?" His voice was heavy with drowsiness.

"Get over here!" Rick only ordered as seated himself on the ground in a place that he deemed slightly more comfortable and acceptable for sleeping.

The boy obeyed without asking questions and came to stand in front of his grandfather. Rather roughly, Rick grabbed his wrist and pulled him down so Morty landed on the ground next to him.

"Ow! That hurt, Rick! Not that I have any right to complain…" He whined after the unexpected impact with the not really that hard surface. "Wha-what are you doing?"

Instead of gracing the confused boy with an answer, he wrapped his arms around him as if he was a big pillow and pulled him close, slightly nuzzling against him.

"Don't get the wrong idea here, Morty! We-we-we're not cuddling and I don't give a fuck about you! I'm just cold and uncomfortable and I wanna sleep!" he finally justified his actions.

"Okay, Rick." Morty answered, sounding every bit convinced that what Rick said was true and accepted this new sleeping arrangement.

"Shut up, Morty!" the scientist shouted before he snuggled closer to his grandson and closed his eyes.

Having his most precious person so close to himself, calmed him and helped him fall asleep quickly. However, he would never let Morty know that.


	30. Chapter 30: Council of Ricks

AN: This idea came up pretty much last minute, but I'm proud of it and it fits so nicely for Halloween, too. The execution feels a bit sloppy, but I wanted to keep it short.

Warnings: slight gore and character death (depends on how you view it), mostly meant to be funny though

Summary: Ricks are known for being party animals and as such the Council of Ricks has to plan for the annual Halloween party. However, trying to outdo themselves this year, they actually take it a bit too far…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 30: Council of Ricks – Rick and Treating**

It was finally Ricktober again and like every year, it meant that the Council of Ricks was stuck with making preparations for the annual Halloween Party. And if there was something that Ricks knew how to do right it was partying!

"Okay, anyone having some new ideas for this year?" Riq IV asked in the round.

They were already pretty much clear on the decorations – that would be set up by the Mortys because Ricks could kind of care less about that – and checked the estimation of food and more importantly booze. This only left the question of additional entertainment. And probably which music they should use, but that one was on the backburner for now since they liked to leave the biggest disagreement topic for last.

"Are we going to get the t-rex strippers from last year again?" Ricktiminus Sancheziminius threw in.

"Yeah, those were pretty rad." Maximums Rickimus agreed.

General confirmation to that statement resounded through the small private chamber in which they held their meeting.

Rick Prime was the only one who seemed to disagree though. "I don't know. Sure, they're pretty good but not very Halloween-like. Besides wouldn't it be boring if we did the same thing as last year?"

Again agreeing murmurs could be heard.

"Then what do you suggest, Prime?" Riq IV asked now, curious to see if he had any better ideas.

"I was just thinking it should be something that fits the season. Y'know, something with that spooky Halloween flare. That should also appease the Mortys, so they won't complain anymore about it like in the previous years."

For a moment, silence hung in the room as everyone seemed to think about the suggestion.

After a round of quiet hums, Zeta Alpha Rick was the one who suddenly sprung up from his seat. "I have an idea for what we can do! It's gonna be spoopy and super cool at the same time. Mortys and Ricks alike are gonna love it!"

With piqued interest, his fellow council members leaned closer to hear what he had in mind.  
The idea was met with full approval and so they could move on to the last matter that was still left to discuss: the music choice.  
Needless to say that the following rage debate lasted for hours…

* * *

The Halloween party was fully underway and loud music bleared from the speakers in the central atrium as portals opened and Ricks with their Mortys arrived. Everything had been decorated with carved out pumpkins, which had glowing eyes, cut out ghosts, fake skeletons and artificial cobwebs. The Mortys had indeed done a good job.

Arriving guests from all over the central finite curve swarmed towards the buffet – though most Ricks stood gathered around the bar – and they were causally chatting with each other or were partying on the dance floor.  
It was without a question a great success – just like every grand party on the Citadel always had been. However, the main event hadn't even started yet.

The music died down as the Council of Ricks stepped onto the stage to hold their little speech, which would be the prelude to tonight's big show.

Rick IV, being the spokesperson as usual, began. "Fellow Ricks…and Mortys… welcome to our Citadel's annual Halloween party. We are glad that you could make it. For this year, we have planned something very special and Halloween-y, so to speak."

He held out a hand to present the main attraction while announcing them: "Gents, please welcome our beautiful ladies from dimension VQ-98T5!"

A bunch of woman, who could only be described as zombie strippers staggered on the stage. The skimpy outfits that they wore hung in tatters over their greyed skin.  
Some bits and pieces of skin and flesh were missing from their bodies, but they looked mostly decent still – also thankfully, the ones with the more grotesque faces had those covered by their long, greasy hair.

Additionally, they wore costumes that were fitting perfectly for Halloween. At least, most Ricks assumed that those tatters were supposed to be costumes as one of the girls was clad in a skimpy nurse outfit, another looked like a sexy stewardess and variations ranged from cheeky schoolgirl to naughty secretary.

The crowd cheered – although it were mostly the Ricks – since the strippers still looked sexy enough and no one was bothered to think how inviting actual zombies could be considered to be a bad idea.  
So, the council left the stage to the women and the music started up again, beginning the actual show. The strippers were dancing rather sluggishly and more limbed around than anything, but no one seemed to care as hollers and wolf whistles could be heard.

Afterwards, the party resumed again, going strong if not even stronger than before, though now with a few more heavily drunken Ricks. No one had paid much attention to the zombie strippers anymore, who had begun to mix in the crowd. One could be found on the dance floor, seemingly dancing with one Rick while another had limped over to the bar and one had managed her way towards the laid out buffet, ravishing it to the disgust of a few Mortys who stood too close and witnessed the messy eating.

The council members had been seated at a special table where they were served food and drink – because why should they bother waiting in line like all the other Ricks that were beneath them – and had reached a state of more heavily intoxication themselves now. Not all of them were present since Riq IV had excused himself to use the "shitter" (to quote him) and Zeta Alpha and Maximums Rickimus were rocking it out on the dancefloor. Quantum Rick seemed to have vanished, but a few Ricks had presumably seen him leaving to a more private area with one of the zombie ladies.  
This left only Ricktiminus Sancheziminius and Rick Prime at the table who were busy laughing over some stupid conversation that they were having.

Ricktiminus was ripped out of his laugh when one of the zombie-fied females suddenly slinked into his side.

"Oh, h-hey there!" He greeted her cheerily (though it sounded more than a slur already) and made room on the couch for her to have a seat next to him. "Y-you wa-wanna have some fun with daddy?"

He chuckled as the blond leaned in to bury her face in his neck, not really minding getting some love bites this night. However, this mood didn't last long and he screamed as the girl suddenly bit him not-so-very-lovingly.  
Prime laughed, thinking that Ricktiminus was overreacting or just playing as he continued to scream. Unfortunately, he didn't notice that this was not a faux-exaggeration nor the blood that was shooting out of Ricktiminus' neck as his carotid artery was pierced by rotting teeth.

Over the loud music, it couldn't be heard, but some other Rick was in a similar situation as him. Maximus, who ended up dancing with one of the zombie girls, could only emit gurgled sounds as his dance partner had likewise latched onto him and chomped through his Adam's apple and in succession also into his trachea.  
Again, his predicament went unnoticed by the other partygoers because they were either too drunk to see this for what it was or they were too busy partying.

Like this, a chain-reaction happened that hit everyone by surprise.  
By the time that Riq IV came back from the restroom, chaos had already broken out.

"Hey! What's going o—" He didn't get to finish his question as Quantum Rick suddenly tackled him from the side.

Both Ricks fell on the floor and Quantum bit him hard enough in the head that he could actually hear his own skull cracking.

In less than a handful of hours, everyone on the Citadel became a victim of the zombie outbreak and was infected. It really was a bad idea to invite actual zombies to the party…

* * *

Bonus:

A portal opened in the middle of the plaza and a Rick stepped through it, followed by his Morty.

"Goddammit, Morty! This is all your fault! Thanks to you messing up such a simple mission and getting us landed in an alien prison, I'm missing out on the second greatest party of the entire year!" Rick C-137 vented at his grandson. "Let's hope that it's still going on…"

"I can't even understand why we would come back to this place on our own volition, Rick." Morty argued back. "I mean, didn't you say that you hate this place and those Council Ricks? And I got the impression that those feelings were mutual."

"You don't get it, Morty! This is one of the biggest parties in the multiverse! Who cares about how much I can stand these assholes? The important thing is that I'm here. They've got free booze, drugs and strippers. And usually they have something for you Mortys, too, or I wouldn't have even bothered bringing you along." Rick rattled on.

Seriously, his grandson had no idea about priorities. You'd think by now, he would already know that almost everyone that Rick is hanging out and getting high or drunk with, is trying to kill him every other week.

They looked around at the mess that was left of the Halloween party and Rick groaned, figuring that he was indeed too late.  
One Rick – Rick Prime – stumbled in their direction and Morty was the first one to spot him.

"Oh man, Rick. He doesn't look so good." He commented, feeling uncomfortable by the sight of the old man whose skin looked even more ashen than before and whose clothes were torn and splattered with blood.

If this was supposed to be a costume, it looked very convincing to him.

Rick C-137 also looked at the Council Rick and they could hear his pitiful moans as he shuffled over to the duo. "You're right. The guy seems pretty hungover to me."

They looked around as more Ricks and also Mortys limped towards them, groaning.

" _Great_ , that means that the party is already over!" Rick C-137 growled and pulled out his portal gun again. " _Thank you very much for that_ , dipshit!"

"Geeze, I'm sorry." Morty mumbled as they both left through the freshly opened portal as quickly as they had arrived.

* * *

AN: Had to add that little bit at the end for comedic effect. Also, feels like a nice little segue to the last prompt :)  
So anyways, take this as my tribute to the spooky season since I didn't have the time to write an extra Halloween story. Originally, I had the idea to make a fanart with Undead Mad Scientist Rick and Vampire Morty in the Graveyard Dimension, but it was too hard for me to draw in the end. Maybe I'll manage something next year.


	31. Chapter 31: Rick C-137

AN: Wow, look at this! We've reached the end of Ricktober and are already on the last prompt. I honestly hadn't thought that I would really be able to finish this challenge (and on time). Before it started, I was convinced that I would give up halfway, but here we are! So, let's get on to the last prompt of this year's Ricktober Challenge, shall we?

This was a hard prompt for me, but not because I couldn't come up with anything, but actually because I had too many ideas what I could do with it. In the end, I decided to use all of them and mashed them together in this crazy little story. So, sorry if it's giving you weird vibes.

This was partly inspired by the Pickle Rick episode (s3e3) as well as comic issue #40.

Warnings: Morty/Rick, Beth/Rick, Jerry/Rick, Summer/Rick, Snuffles/Rick (all very one-sided), misuse of household objects aka (nonconsensual) smut and masturbation, OOCness, could probably considered to be a crackfic (please take it in good humor)

Summary: Rick C-137 is a very desirable man. Unfortunately, to the point that his entire family is trying to come onto him. In order to escape from that, he turns himself into various household objects, but even that doesn't end all too well for him…

* * *

 **Finally Ricktober, Bitches! – Chapter 31: Rick C-137 – Too ricking hot for his own good**

Rick Sanchez was a confident man and not only in his intelligence and skills. He knew that he was still super-hot despite his old age and his considerably gross habits.  
If he wanted, he could lay everyone that he was interested in.  
There was a reason why he had been voted best lay on this side of the galaxy for the last consecutive 30 years. And sure, fucking was a great way to take an occasional break from his science projects.

He also made no secret out of the fact that he was pansexual and was down to fuck everything that was considered sentient. For many years, he had literally fucked his way through the universe.

However, there was one thing about his unbelievable attractiveness that was bothering him now. While he certainly lacked a moral compass as much as any other Rick – if not even more, seeing that he was the rickest Rick – there were lines that even he wouldn't dare to cross.  
And one of those lines shoved itself and more and more into his face recently.

However, his increasing troubles had nothing to do with his exploits somewhere out in space. It wasn't about GF territory or any other area that he would consider hostile. No, the new dangers that he was forced to deal with where waiting for him right at home.

The first one was none other than his sidekick, partner in crime and grandson.  
With constantly sticking together and hanging out as much as they did, it was hard to ignore Morty's growing sexual frustration. However, the boy was a horny teenager, so Rick thought that the kid just needed to let off steam somewhere and shouldn't really be freaked out by the fact that he more often than not stared at him as if he was a piece of meat.  
Assuming that and denying anything else was probably the first mistake that he made in setting himself up…

While he might have found an explanation for the small brunet, he was having a much harder time to come up with excuses for Beth's increasingly clingy behavior though. Then again, he could probably chalk it up to her daddy issues (which he was to blame for) and therefore shouldn't mind too much when she would hug him and deliberately press her body tightly against his so that he could clearly feel the swell if her soft mounts against his arm.

Summer's actions, he could easily overlook. That one was simply rivalry with her brother because Morty was always spending so much time with him and Rick knew already that both wanted to be "grandpa's favorite".

As for Jerry's pathetic and not exactly subtle antics, he ran out of ways to make sense of it. He was probably just crumbling under the pressure of his repressed homoerotic fantasies and sexual dissatisfaction.  
And while Rick probably would be able to help with that – since this didn't exactly count as "that line" anymore – he really had no interest in screwing his son-in-law.  
Really, which Rick would steep so low to do that?

So Rick C-137 had foolishly decided to choose the "best course of action" and just ignore the weird hints that his family was trying to throw at him. That was until, he just couldn't turn the other way anymore.

His sidekick was the first one to make the step that released the metaphorical avalanche of despair that would befall Rick.

They were just on another classical Rick and Morty adventuretm and he tried his hardest to ignore the way that his grandson behaved around him. However, with how Morty was constantly ogling him, making big bedroom eyes and blushing constantly, even Rick had to admit that there was probably more than just hormones involved. He'd go so far to say that the boy was actually having a little puppy crush on him, which was really weird.

Didn't the little turd always go on about that Jessica chick that he always tried so hard to get? What happened with that?

Rick figured that it was only a temporary thing and his grandson was just looking up at him as his hero while being a bit confused about his emotions. It happens. Was pretty normal for teenagers, no?

So, he didn't think too much about it on today's adventure even if it was a little unnerving. And everything went smooth and fine.  
That was until the alarm system went off and they were forced to run away from a bunch of heavily armed alien guards. Since outrunning the enemy wasn't really an option, Rick decided to use the next best plan and decided to hide.

He made a sharp turn in the hallway, grabbing onto Morty's t-shirt and dragging him to make sure that he wouldn't stay behind or slow him down and then dashed into a small room that was luckily a supply closet.  
Since their pursuers weren't the brightest, they ran straight past the door that Rick had kept the slightest bit ajar to watch the events outside unfold and make an escape again at a second's notice.

So far everything had went well, but with the alarms still blaring and guards rushing around in the halls, right now wasn't a good moment to come out of the closet. However, someone else apparently thought that now was the best time to "come out of the closet" – albeit the metaphorical one.

While Rick still peered outside and had his focus completely on monitoring what was going on in the hall, he vaguely did take notice of Morty snuggling closer and closer to his body. At first he figured that his grandson might be scared and was holding onto him for the mental comfort, but as the small and warm body suddenly began to move rhythmically against him, it became way too distractive and his mind did a spin.

"Morty? What are you doing?" he asked with wild eyes as he pushed the boy away from his body.

With the distance put between them, the brunet looked up into his eyes with a weird mix of emotions that Rick couldn't for the life of him figure out even with all his genius. The boy's face was flushed and his eyes were big and wet and his body was trembling slightly as if he was nervous, but it was so hard to tell what was actually going on inside of him.  
And then there was the sudden confession.

"I-I love you, Rick." With those desperately spoken words, Morty leaned forward.

Rick saw those pink, puckered lips even inside the darkness of the closet and with reflexes honed from years of death defying adventures, he reacted immediately by blocking the boy with his hand.

"Whoa!"

He could feel warmth and a slight wetness against the palm of his hand where he had pressed it over Morty's mouth.

That was a close one!

As his grandson pulled back again, he removed his hand from Morty's face and wiped the appendage on his lab coat, openly showing the disgust that he felt on his face now.

"Christ, Morty! Gross!" he commented and made the mistake to look over at the boy again.

The brunet was looking at the ground now, tears freely streaming down his rosy cheeks. It was such a pathetic sight that Rick could feel a tug inside his chest, but he ignored it and threw a glace through the gap of the door again to make sure that they hadn't been detected yet.  
While not looking bothered on the outside, he never really liked making his grandson upset. However, he didn't want to encourage him either or give him any false hopes, so being indifferent was the best that he could do now.

A hefty swig from his flask helped him in this task.  
Pocketing the useful item again, he saw his chance to escape now, as the guards were busy searching for them elsewhere. He threw open the door and grabbed Morty's wrist to drag him again as they fled.

Needless to say that the entire flight home was spent in uncomfortable silence.  
However, the day wasn't just over for Rick with that.

The next attack happened pretty much after they arrived home.  
Morty escaped the awkwardness of being around each other by making a beeline towards his room as soon as he was out of the space cruiser.  
Rick only sighed and took another sip from his flask. His eyes wandered to the unfinished invention, which would stay in its incomplete state now since he didn't manage to get the compound that he needed after all.

He briefly thought if he should work on something else instead, but had somehow lost his entire motivation. So, he left the garage and would get some of his favorite wafer cookies while he was in the kitchen before he would park his ass on the couch and spend the next few hours with mindlessly watching some interdimensional cable TV.

At least that had been his plan.  
However, not soon after stepping into the kitchen, he was faced with his daughter.

"Hey, Dad!" She greeted him happily. "I'm glad that you're home."

For a moment Rick had been worried that she had seen Morty and would question what had happened while they were out that had made her son so upset, but thankfully he was spared from that.  
Boy, would that have been an embarrassing conversation. Then again, he would have probably made something up on the spot because there was no way that he would really tell her that Morty had tried to kiss him.

Beth sighed before she continued. "I really wish you would be home more often so that we could spend more time together…"

Rick didn't grace her with a comment to that and pursuing his previously made plan, opened the snack cupboard to retrieve the package with the wafer cookies.  
What he totally hadn't planned was for his daughter to suddenly hug him.  
Still that was nothing to complain or worry about…until he realized that she wasn't letting go of him.

"Um, sweetie?" He tried gently. "A little room here?"

She reluctantly released him, but the look in her eyes spelled "heartbroken". It made him feel kind of bad – for the second time this day – and he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but closed it again.  
Maybe acting ignorant would help best in this situation again. He already did that with Morty, so he could do it again.

However, just as he made a few steps in the direction of the parlor and was about to pass her, Beth suddenly flung herself on him again. And this time her grip was much tighter. Almost as if she was afraid, that he would leave her forever.

Rick wanted to try to gently peel her off of him, but stopped as he noticed a not completely unfamiliar movement. As it had been so often the case, Beth had pressed her chest tightly against his arm.  
However, this time the action didn't seem so innocent, as his left limb was practically squished in her cleavage and to top it all off, she was rubbing slightly against him as if she was giving his arm the most subtle boobjob in history.

Deciding against trying to be gentle, Rick pried his daughter's hands away from his body and pushed her back by her shoulders to bring some distance between them.

"What's wrong, Dad? Didn't you like that?" She asked as if nothing had been wrong and what she had done was the most normal thing in the world. "I could suck your dick if you would like that more?"

Rick was appalled. "Urgh, that's gross, Beth."

"Then do you want to fuck me instead?"

"No! Please just stop saying things like that." He honestly didn't want to hear such vulgar things coming from his own daughter's mouth.

Usually, he wouldn't have a problem with that, but incestuous commentary from Beth was definitely on his black list.

"What's the problem?"

 _Was she serious?!_

"Beth, I'm your father!"

"So what? It's not like you usually give a fuck about morals or anything." She deadpanned, but crossed her arms now in a defying manner.

Rick was wrestling for words, but he only stumbled over them.

Getting some sense back again, he finally replied. "No means no, Beth!"

He trudged off to continue his way to the parlor.

"Dad!" Her voice sounded despaired now.

Rick recognized that tone immediately.

"I'm not gonna leave." He reassured her. "But we're not gonna do _that_ either!"

A heavy sigh was the last thing that he heard as he left his daughter behind in the kitchen.

Could this shitty day get any worse?

Rick decided that it could, as he spotted Jerry on the couch.  
However, he wasn't going to let this hinder his plans of relaxing in front of the TV.

Unimpressed by the brunet's presence he seated himself in the usual spot on the couch that was opposite of Jerry and grabbed immediately the remote while putting his legs on the table and crossing them in one fluid motion.

"Hey! I was watching that!" Jerry protested as Rick quickly switched the channel.

Of course, that reaction was completely expected, however, "I don't give a fuck about the stupid shit that you were watching, Jerry. You-you've got no taste in TV shows. Actually, you've got no taste in general."

Instead of raging back, Jerry deflated and whimpered like a kicked puppy.

Pathetic!

Rick proceeded to ignore the other male in the room in favor of channel surfing and munching on his sweet snacks. Instead of just looking for a program that he would find interesting enough to watch, he was actually looking for something that would repulse his daughter's idiot enough to make him flee the room.  
He needed at least one positive experience today or he would cry himself to sleep tonight…well, maybe nothing that dramatic, but he will need a lot of alcohol to find some peace and rest. That was for sure.

After minutes of zapping, he finally stopped on something that undoubtedly was porn – from a dimension where humans were giant-sized noses on feet with a bunch of tentacles. While this one didn't particularly struck any of his kinks – nose-picking wasn't really arousing to him – he'd figure that this ought to do the job and would appall Jerry.  
For around a minute there was only silence –save for the weird wheezing sounds that were probably equivalent to moaning from the TV – before the brunet finally dared to open his mouth.

"Are those—I mean, are they…?" He reluctantly asked as if he didn't really want to know the answer to his question.

"What does it look like to you, Jerry?" Rick barked. "You-you wanna tell me that I can't watch some porn in the middle of the day or something? If you don't like it, you can just scram."

Again, only silence reigned, but Jerry didn't make a move to leave.  
Rick kept staring at the screen, being rather bored by what he saw and occasionally biting into a wafer cookie.

Several more minutes passed before finally something happened. However, it wasn't what Rick had hoped for.  
Instead of standing up to leave the room in disgust, Jerry actually began to inch closer towards him. Rick's face was a stoic mask of boredom as he refused to acknowledge Jerry's action and only kept staring at the TV.  
However, he couldn't exactly not notice what the other was doing, especially as Jerry drew near enough that he was hanging practically on his side.

"Hey, Rick?" He asked in a whisper, which was probably supposed to sound seductive. His voice was laden with fluttered nerves, as he was brave enough to let his pointer finger draw small circles on the scientist's chest. "Do you think—"

"Fuck off, Jerry!" Rick interrupted him before he could even start suggesting something that would make the blue-haired man barf.

While he still sternly kept his eyes on the TV, he couldn't stop a scowl from reaching his face at the nerve that his son-in-law had.  
Making probably the wisest decision that he had ever done in his life, Jerry moved quickly away again and left the room.

Rick continued to change channels again, now that his goal had been accomplished. However, he couldn't find anything that was interesting enough for him to settle on.  
Despite his calm exterior, he was raging on the inside from how awful today was.

Growing quickly bored, Rick decided to skip everything in order to just drink himself into oblivion now.  
He stood up and looked at his wafer cookies as if debating whether to return them to the kitchen or just leave them here.  
In the end, he decided that they could just come along.

As he made the short trip to his own room, he realized that today really wasn't his day because Summer was leaning against the door to his room as if she had been waiting for him to show up for a while.

"Hello, Grandpa Rick~" she greeted in the most seductive voice that she could muster while striking a sexy pose.

Rick only groaned. "Not you, too, Summer."

He slapped with the palm of his free hand against his face at his granddaughter's flirtatious attempt.

"I mean, it's one thing when the rest your hopeless family does it, but I would have expected better from you at least."

Not paying any more attention to her, he brushed past her and entered his room.  
He should have been wise enough to lock his door because mere seconds after he had closed it, the redhead opened it again.

"But, Grandpa Rick!" She protested against the cold shoulder that he had showed her.

"Out, Summer!" Rick ordered not even having it in him anymore after today to feel anything in the face of her sad puppy eyes.

"But I heard that you turned down Morty and though that—"

"GET OUT! NOW!" He repeated himself and rudely shoved the girl out of his room before locking the door for good now.

With a heavy sigh, he sank down on his cot. Blindly he fumbled around until his fingers brushed against glass and to his luck, he found that the bottle wasn't empty – yet.

He spend the next few hours drinking and trying to forget.  
Unfortunately, his mind wasn't something to be quieted down easily and so instead of not thinking about anything, today's events kept repeating themselves inside his head.

He seriously needed to do something about that. Things certainly couldn't go on like this and seeing that the family seemingly wasn't discouraged by his clear disapproval meant that they might try coming onto him again. And he knew these psychos, that he was related to, good enough to know that they would stay persistent and keep attacking harder and harder each time.  
Maybe to a point, that he wouldn't be able to fend them off again.

A solution was needed and he needed it quickly.

After the eight bottle, enlightenment suddenly seemed to strike him as he had the perfect idea. He wouldn't be stupidly fighting back anymore against their advances.  
No, instead he would just avoid that all together!

Damn, was he a goddamn genius!

* * *

"Yeah, now that's some peace and quiet." Rick said to himself.

He was currently a banana ("Banana Rick!") and relaxing in a fruit bowl. The brilliant idea that he had come up with was to modify his transformation serum to turn himself into a plain object.  
Now, of course, he wasn't so stupid to put himself in danger here – especially since his plan had been to blend in with his surroundings to be undisturbed – so he laid in a bowl that held only decorative food, which stood on the small kitchen table.

In Rick's mind, this was perfect since he was sure that this way he would be spared from any further advances of his crazy family while at home. The only thing that he needed to do was act his role when someone would enter the kitchen – meaning he just needed to keep his mouth shut (probably the hard part) and laying still (this was considerably the easier part since he couldn't currently move of his own volition anyway).

As Beth suddenly came into the kitchen, Rick thought that this would be the ultimate test. If his own daughter wouldn't be able to detect her then there was no chance that anyone else in the family would.  
Without a doubt, she was the one with the highest IQ out of the bunch – coming right after him!

Wearily he watched how the blond rummaged through the cupboards before she found what she had been looking for: a glass and a bottle of red wine. A little disappointedly he watched on how she filled the glass and emptied it in almost one go before she refilled it anew. The dependence on alcohol wasn't a trait that he had wanted to pass down on her, but he was also in no position to judger her actions and tell her to stop.

After a few more glasses, Beth decided that she didn't want to stand around in the kitchen any longer. So, she decided to actually take a seat at the kitchen table.  
Rick was getting a tad bit more nervous since she was sitting close enough to easily spot him and he hoped when she did that she would not be able to tell that he wasn't a simple plastic fruit.

Another glass was emptied and refilled before her aquamarine eyes landed on the fruit bowl. She hummed and squinted, looking a bit closer at Rick and the scientist-turned-banana worried that the jig was up now.  
He forced himself not to yelp as he was suddenly picked up and Beth inspected him even closer now.

"Good enough." She suddenly mumbled and stood up from the chair, her father still in hand.

Rick wondered what she would do now, but decided to still stay quiet and keep up his act because as far as he was concerned, she hadn't noticed yet that it was him.  
The blond rummage around in the far back of one drawer for a while before she pulled out the object that she had been searching for. It was a…condom wrapper?!

Before Rick could even start to wonder why something like that was in the drawer of the kitchen, Beth ripped open the foil and then began to wrap the condom around him.  
The scientist was more than convinced that he didn't like where this was going **at all** and worried that he might suffocate in the tight confines of the rubber. He wasn't even able to speak right now even if he would have wanted to protest, though that would also equal to Beth finding out that the banana was actually her father.

Unable to defend himself, he had to go along with Beth as she returned to the table and placed him down while she unbuttoned her pants. She let the blue jeans and her rose-colored panties drop to the floor and sat on the edge of the table, steadying herself with one foot on the seat of the chair.

While Rick wasn't able to see much of what was going on from his current position, it was obvious to him that his daughter had begun to stroke and touch herself – one hand slipping underneath her red shirt to fumble her breast and the other between her legs.  
A few minutes passed in which Rick feverishly thought about a way to get out of this situation while he was forced to lay on the table wrapped in a condom and could only listen to his daughter's soft, barely repressed moans and wet slicking sounds as she fingered herself.

As his eyes wandered around for a way to get back into the bowl where he had hidden the antidote to transform back – even if he wouldn't be able to access it now wrapped up like he was, unless he somehow managed to bite through the thin latex – he almost yelped in surprise when Beth's hand suddenly grabbed him.  
The next thing he knew, he found himself being rubbed against her pink moist folds.

"Mmm, Dad!" she moaned and bit her lip.

If she hadn't closed her eyes and looked like she was concentrating on whatever kind of fantasy her mind had conjured up, Rick would have believed that she knew that it was him.  
Before he could ponder about that possibility any longer though, he was placed headfirst at her entrance before she pushed him inside. Rick began to rightfully panic as his non-human body was plunged into the wet heat.  
He couldn't breathe and it was dark and he was sure that he was beginning to get claustrophobic now. Maybe under completely different circumstances, he could have enjoyed the odd experience of feeling the soft rosy walls pulsating rhythmically around him and massaging his entire body. Given the situation though, it was a nightmare for him.

His torture continued for what felt like an eternity to him, although it was only a few minutes and he was sure that he would die or at least pass out any moment now.  
That didn't happen though and he felt suddenly strangled and thought that he could vaguely hear Beth calling out "Daddy!" before he was granted relieve and got to see light again.

Beth was still panting and her movements were sluggish as she fixed her clothes. Then she mercifully unwrapped Rick from his soiled confines and threw the used condom in the kitchen waste. Before she placed him back in the bowl, she stared at him with a scrutinizing gaze and he thought that after somehow getting through everything, she would discover now that it was him.

Fortunately – or maybe unfortunately – she brought him over to the kitchen sink and began to douse him in water. It was practically a miracle that she didn't notice how he spluttered as he accidentally got some water in his nose and mouth as she thoroughly washed him.  
Only after she had quickly dried him off with a paper towel – and being quite rough while she did it – he was placed back in the fruit bowl again.

Rick watched how his daughter grabbed a new wine bottle – since the previous one was empty now – and her glass and left the kitchen again – most likely to continuing drinking in front of the TV before she would fall asleep on the couch as was usual for her. After he was sure that she was out of hearing range, he released a heavy sigh.  
This had gone horribly wrong.

On the bright side, he had manage to get through without being found out. So, his plan was still pretty brilliant! This was just a minor setback.

* * *

Rick, wanting to hold on to the good idea that he had, continued his plan. However, he realized that disguising himself as a phallic fruit in a place where his daughter often hung around was probably not the best option.

So, he revised his serum again and turned himself into a remote control ("Remote Control Rick!") and decided to hide out on the table in the parlor.  
What he hadn't counted on was his idiot of a son-in-law coming into the room and getting frisky thoughts. After the event where Jerry had rubbed him all over his cock and then stuffed him into his ass, Rick was sure to remember to never touch the actual TV remote ever again without thoroughly sanitizing it first!  
Screw that! He should just build his own one that he would use from now on so he wouldn't have to get close to that remote again.

Still, while Jerry had been moaning his name during the entire action, the idiot still hadn't noticed that he was fooling around with none other than Rick himself. Though, the scientist wasn't even entirely sure if the brunet had really thought about him or about the shit-eater J-7 that he so loved to hang out with.

So, Rick's next attempt at camouflaging was turning himself into a hairbrush ("Hairbrush Rick! And no, this isn't getting old!") and hiding out in the bathroom. This one had seemed like a safe place even if he would had to endure being there while his family members took a shower or where on the shitter.  
Still, in comparison to what he had to endure before, it sounded decidedly less unpleasant.

His plans however had been foiled again as Summer stepped into the bathroom and abducted him. And instead of using Rick to brush her hair in her room, she had been fucking herself on his handle while calling out her grandpa's name.  
While the experience was without question less horrifying than what he had been through before, it still wasn't pleasant for Rick.

Just what was wrong with this family?! Had they always been such horndogs?  
He would have expected something like this from his horny grandson, but the others?!

Ultimately deciding that there was only one place in this house that was safe, Rick made a last ditch attempt and turned himself into a pillow ("Pillow Rick! …okay, maybe this is slowly starting to wear out…").  
He was resting on the cot inside his own room – that everyone knew not to enter! – and was glad to finally have a break.

Of course, the pause only lasted until Morty suddenly peeked inside the room.  
Rick had been tempted to yell at the boy what he thought that he was doing in here as the brunet snuck inside, but remembered that this would blow his cover.  
Instead, Rick watched in interest what Morty was actually planning to do.

Was the little turd messing around with his materials in his absence? Or, was he trying to steal some of the inventions that he had stored here?  
He had always wondered if someone was touching his stuff, but convinced himself that he was just paranoid.  
Now however, he could check first hand if his suspicions could be confirmed.

He watched attentively how his grandson tiptoed around the room, looking carefully around as if he was afraid that he could activate a possible trap. After almost aimlessly creeping around the room for a solid minute, Morty finally found one of Rick's dirty lab coats peeking out from underneath the bed.  
A large stain of whisky was on there from last night and he forgot to put it with the rest of the laundry yet.

His grandson held the stained off-white piece of clothing to his face and inhaled deeply. He sighed dreamily and a little blush was staining his cheeks as Rick held back to call Morty out on being a sniffer.  
The scientist might have been able to deal with that if that would have been the only thing that his grandson did, however, this alone didn't seem to be enough for Morty.

The brunet actually flopped down on Rick's cot – and Rick released an "oof!" as his grandson's head slammed into his currently downy body, but Morty didn't seem to notice – and the boy continued to cuddle with the lab coat.  
He nuzzled against the clothing, inhaling Rick's scent and moaning softly and Rick could tell that he was quickly getting worked up.

Growing tired of just sniffing on the one article of clothing, he turned around and buried his head in the pillow. He moaned loudly since Pillow Rick was probably smelling even more prominently like his grandfather. Which should be no surprise, seeing as it was Rick himself!

Rick could not not-notice how the cot was rocking back and forth slightly as his grandson began to hump the old and worn camping bed. Squeaking sounds were following every tiny movement.

The scientist was so pissed off right now that the little creep had actually the nerve to jerk off in HIS bed! Unfortunately, he couldn't yell at Morty right now since the boy's brown locks were in his face.

After a while, though, he was granted relief as the boy lifted his head up again.  
Rick vaguely took notice that Morty had opened his pants and had shimmied out of them and his underwear in the meantime. Just as the pillow-turned scientist wanted to shout at his grandson, he suddenly had a cock rubbing straight into his face.

The brunet had forgone the cot in order to hump into the pillow now, rendering Rick again unable to do anything to stop the actions.

"R-Rick…oh, Rick…" Morty moaned feverishly and his motions began to lose rhythm and became jerky.

Seconds later, he squirted his jizz all over Rick's pillow-y face.  
The boy took a moment before he found to himself again. Then he put his clothes back on and frowned down at the pillow.

Rick felt so ashamed at his current situation that he couldn't even scream at his grandson anymore and he only hoped that the boy wasn't attentive enough to recognize that the pillow was his grandfather. While the moments were rare, Morty had a knack for being keen and quick witted whenever Rick didn't need him to.  
The scrutinizing stare at his cum covered face made Rick nervous and it didn't help when Morty picked up him and gazed even more intently at him as he was fully aware that he was looking directly into Rick's face.

The scientist held as still as he could, hoping against hope that his disguise still hadn't been seen through. The next thing happened so fast that it would have caused him whiplash if it was possible in his current form. He only found himself suddenly laying facedown on his cot and wondered what was going on.  
The only answer that he got was the clicking of his door as Morty closed it behind himself.

Great! The little turd didn't even think about cleaning up after himself!  
Gross, Morty! Just gross!

* * *

Rick had it with this family!  
While he had managed to stay undiscovered though those escapades, he felt thoroughly traumatized (and abused) now. He decided that he had been going wrong about all of this in the first place by turning himself into objects that could be so obviously misused for sexual acts.

So, the safest thing that he could think off was to go undercover and turn himself into an object that no one in his family would even dream of using for something other than what it was intended for.  
He turned himself into a food bowl!

Sure, it wasn't ideal, but he was willing to bear the smell of dogfood over the exposure to the genitalia of his family members any day.  
So, he endured it and behaved the next morning when Beth filled him with brown pellets and placed him in the corner of the dining room while the family sat around the table and ate breakfast.

He vaguely noticed that Beth was asking about his whereabouts and the others only told her that they hadn't seen him since the day before yesterday. Morty assumed that he had went off world with his portal gun to get drunk in some space bar again or something and Rick thought that he probably should have done that.  
At least it would have saved him from all of yesterday's horrors and humiliation.

Snuffles happily munched the disgusting-smelling pellets and thankfully, this would mean that Rick would finally have some peace once he would be done with eating.  
In mere minutes the bowl was polished off, however, the white-furred dog still seemed to be hungry. At least he was intensely sniffling at the scientist-turned-food bowl.

Snuffles suddenly emitted a pleased whine and before Rick knew what hit him, the dog started humping against his ridge.

That was the last straw for Rick Sanchez!

"STOP IT, YOU PERVERTED HORNDOG!" he yelled loudly at the furry creature.

Snuffles was so stunned that he indeed stopped and the heads' of everyone at the table suddenly turned in his direction.  
However, Rick didn't care that his cover was blown now. He had built up so much rage and anger over the last few days that he couldn't hold himself back anymore.

"Just what the fuck is wrong with you?! And I don't just mean the pet dog here, I mean all of you!"

"Rick!" the entire family shouted and was quickly on their feet, but Rick didn't wait for them to rush over to him.

Learning from yesterday's mistakes, he had made a modification, which granted him some mobility and so he hopped his way out of the dining room while continuing to cuss out the others.

"You guys are the worst! You-you-you're just a bunch of perverted perv-per-weirdos! A bunch of depraved sickos who can't keep it in their pants! I mean, what the hell?! What the fuck is wrong with you guys?! I feel as if I-I-I'm in stuck in a badly written fanfiction!"

"No, Rick! Wait!" The entire family began to chase after the retreating bowl now.

They still wanted to have Rick no matter what.  
That was the problem with being the most desirable Rick of them all – the rickest Rick – Rick C-137.

* * *

AN: And there we have it! We've reached the end of this challenge (and finished it with a lengthy and whacky finale)!  
I would have loved to make it even longer and more detailed, but on such a short time limit even I couldn't make it. Still, I'm pretty proud of myself (even if I should probably feel ashamed for writing this).

This entire challenge was certainly fun and I've got to experiment a little with different writing styles while doing it. Also proved that I'm not doing too well with set deadlines because my writing just gets sloppy and rushed. While I'm not proud of every entry, I was also excited to do some of these prompts since I've either wanted to write or read about them at some point, so all in all I'm very satisfied with the outcome :)  
Also a very big thank you to all of you readers who had stuck with me during this. You guys are amazing!

It would be cool if you let me know in the comments which chapter was your favorite. Looking back at it, I'd say chapter 15 with Evil Rick was my personal favorite since I managed to write that one exactly how I wanted it to be, but I also enjoyed the Weird Rick/Simple Rick one (we need more of this ship!) and Guilty Rick's chapter.


End file.
